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Who remembers this Turtleboy repeat customer?
His name is Dalton Bermingham,
AKA the Manbunned Asquatch. Last we head from him he was seen walking through the woods of Plympton, without pants of course, which was caught on a hunting stand camera.
Well, he’s back in the news again, and this time he was spotted in Lakeville and Berkely, but it was a special occasion so he had pants on:
Just to review:
- He was driving in Lakeville and was pulled over for not having any tail lights
- He elected not to stop and instead led the cops on a 90 mph chase through residential neighborhoods and into the town of Berkley
- The Berkley PD had set up stop sticks that he ran through shredding his tires
- He jumped out of the car and ran back into his natural habitat – the woods, except he had his pants on for the moment
- He was caught and arrested
- Cops found a bunch of crack cocaine in the cigarette holder
- The car was registered to a 60 year old man named David Wilkinson, who of course is also his roommate
- Wilkinson said that he loaned the car to Assquatch for $200, it was supposed to be back 2 hours ago, and he thought his real name was Mark
- Assquatch also told the cops that he didn’t know Wilkinson’s real name, and that he thought HE was the one named Mark
- Assquatch said he was introduced to his 60 year old roommate through a woman named “Heather”
- Wilkinson said he didn’t know Assquatch’s last name or phone number, which Assquatch proved was a lie later on when he showed the cops text messages between them in which Wilkinson was cursing out Assquatch for not returning the car
- Wilkinson admitted to lying about Assquatch’s phone number because he was trying to cover for Assquatch who was already on probation
- Wilkinson said Assquatch would contact the police to confirm his story but Assquatch failed to do so
- Assquatch is now in the Plymouth House of Corrections on $20K bail
Just another day in the life of Dalton Bermingham. I honestly expected nothing less than this, and the fact that he has a 60 year old roommate who he calls Mark and vice versa, whose car he rented out and never returned, drove around 90 mph with crack cocaine into two towns, abandoned the car and ran into the woods before finally being apprehended, is the least surprising thing I’ve ever heard.
Oh, and his mugshot was legendary:
Good God. Just look at thing. It’s glorious.
Mom sure will be proud!
Can’t wait for the next installment of Assquatch – tales of a South Shore manbunned poonstachio!