Danielson Buttnugget Parents Busted Using Woman’s Credit Card At Walmart After Robbing Her Car Have Been Messaging Everyone On Facebook With Fake Sob Stories Needing Cash

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What do you get when you mix two Danielson skagbags, a “disease,” and the Brooklyn Wal-Mart? A Turtleboy feature story of course:

Who would’ve ever guessed that these two winners would break into someone’s car and run up a tab at the Brooklyn Wal-Mart?

They seem like such fine, upstanding, high-class citizens. Probably all a huge misunderstanding and they were really just on their way to church but needed some cash for when they pass the basket around.

And I know that when I think “high class” the first thing I think of is some junkie momma swapping spit and whispering sweet nothings with the latest chinstrap laden trashbag who her kids call “weekend Dad.”

Anyway, as soon as these two became famous on WINY Radio, everyone started coming forward, sharing their stories about how Pam Bliven has been trying to extort money from them with various sob stories. Like her “I need money for Easter” scam:

Because I’m sure Pam Bliven is a devout woman for whom the resurrection of Jesus is an occasion to bear gifts.

Another good scam was the, “my kids need meds” scam:

Then there was the “I’m exactly $70 short for rent” routine:

Because lots of evictions begin at 10 PM.

And when that fails just try the “buy my shitty, Newport Light infested jacket for $80” racket:

It’s cool though, because she’s totally not on drugs:

Hey Pam, if you’re not actually on drugs, you look like an even bigger ass-muncher. At least then you could hide behind the “I have a disease” or the “only God can judge me” schtick. But if you’re sober and randomly trying to scam everyone on your Facebook roster who you barely talk to out of $70, and then breaking into some lady’s car when that fails, you’re an even bigger poopface than we previously thought you were.

Soon after that everyone started coming out of the woodworks, sharing their stories about how Pam Blevin used her magical skills of ratchetry to slide into their DM’s and ask people she hadn’t spoken to in years for various amounts of cash:

Oh, and it turns out this Michael Geer guy is just her backup junkie lover. The first one died.

Third time’s a charm though.

And did I mention that when they robbed the woman’s car they also stole a gift card for that woman’s special needs children’s sensory room?

It’s OK though, because it’s a disease. Oh wait, she doesn’t have a disease. Quick, we need more excuses!! Someone say something!!

So this chick says she’s “praying she gets the help she needs.” And then Pam Blevin says “thank you.” But if she’s not an addict, what does she need help for? Is being an asshole a disease now too?

Then Uncle Turtleboy and Bret Killoren reminded her that despite what this person is saying, she is most definitely NOT a good person:

Just a reminder, the other chick she just threw under the bus was the only person in this thread not related to her who was saying anything nice about her:

D’oh!!

But wait, it gets better. Turns out these slugpumps both get HUD assistance and are on food stamps, which of course they sell for drug money while their children rely on free lunch at school:

Oh good, she reproduced. Three times.

But according to her sister, DCF did NOT take her kids:

I know when when I have a family member who is publicly shamed for stealing money to feed her drug habit, the first thing I do is go on Facebook and remind everyone that she still has custody of her three children. That should sooth public outrage over this. Nothing better than a junkie mom bringing three innocent children into the steaming pile of shit she calls life.

But on the other hand, things are looking up now. After all, they’re getting hitched!!

Grabbing your slampig’s Picasso cubes while showing off the ring you just won from the machine at Jillian’s. In Danielson they call these “engagement photos.”

The Connecticut Corridor really is a magical place.

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