All-Star Criminals

Danielson Dicknado Uses Megabrain To Threaten To Kill CT State Troopers Who Arrested Him With Crack Cocaine Up His Pants

Danielson Dicknado Uses Megabrain To Threaten To Kill CT State Troopers Who Arrested Him With Crack Cocaine Up His Pants

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM





Check out this Danielson Dicknado from the Connecticut Corridor:


For a guy who clearly has a gigantic brain, he obviously doesn’t like using it too much.

Sweet mother of Ludacris, you could land a jumbo freaking jet on his forehead. No wonder he’s mad. Probably why he’s gotta wear a different flat brimmed hat like a dooshnozzle in every single picture he’s ever posted in:

Size 8 and three quarters of course.

Honestly, the guy says he wanted to fight and kill state troopers. I say let him give it a shot. What’s fair is fair. This is America. It’s a free country. If you wanna try to take down cops, go for it. I’m sure your training will come in handy, and that fight would be a real toss up.

Luckily he has what’s commonly referred to as a “down ass ho,” who initially was confused as to why her boyfriend would threaten to kill cops right after being arrested for having a whole bunch of crack cocaine up his pants:

But once she had some time to decompress she realized that her “Mr. Wrong,” would be a great choice in a partner to bring around her litter of children:

Probably because he just oozes sex appeal in his bathroom selfies:

And of course Pinky and the Brain are going to live happily ever after:

You know he means business because he used a hashtag before the 100 emoji.

Good thing Governor Dannel Malloy (no, that’s not a spelling mistake, his fucking name is “Dannel”) recently laid off 85 state troopers, including 79 who went through the academy for literally nothing. Because I’m sure there’s nowhere else in the budget they could’ve trimmed the fat except for law enforcement. It’s a good thing CT isn’t oozing with assholes like Johnny Biekart, and we can count on citizens to be on their best behavior as LEO services go down the shitter. Makes sense.



We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

6 Comment(s)
  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    May 23, 2017 at 1:30 am

    If he needs to make bond, he should just rent out his forehead as advertising space… could make a TON of money with that, especially with his mugshot being so well spread around!

  • whitey
    May 23, 2017 at 12:52 am

    Throw the book at the nigger!

    • whitey
      May 23, 2017 at 12:53 am

      Let’s kill the nigger while we’re at it!

  • mystressovmayhem
    May 22, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    Turtleboy you pulling black man selling drugs stories out your ass again? I mean seriously, a black man selling drugs, living with a woman off the books while she collects welfare for their kids is so unheard of! I don’t believe it! You or those wacky CT Troopers are pulling a fast one!
    Of not, I know his “boo” is thinking she’s #ontobiggerandbetterthings but not for 5-10 years i’m guessing. And #teamus will be spent separated by glass and talking on a plastic phone looking like it was made by Playskool! Just another set of kids growing up without a father because working is too much like work! Good luck trying to take to take out those cops with your plastic knife stupid!

  • Noseface
    May 22, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    I was shocked to hear about a black guy getting in trouble with the law, you rarely ever hear of such a thing.

  • Talisman
    May 22, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    That right, trim LE out of the budget to subsidize the hookworms. We can’t have people working for a living when they can squirt out EBT deposits, get free housing and deal drugs to pay for all the stuff normal people work for.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?