All-Star Criminals

Dartmouth Fentanyl Dealer Who Bragged About Having So Much Ammo, Killing Cops, Has Different Flat Brimmed Chicago Bulls Hat For Every Day Of The Week

Dartmouth Fentanyl Dealer Who Bragged About Having So Much Ammo, Killing Cops, Has Different Flat Brimmed Chicago Bulls Hat For Every Day Of The Week


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Winner alert out of Dartmouth:

Everyone knows that people who sell fentanyl during an opiate epidemic are the lowest of the low. It’s cool though because Ryan Wood used to be a junkbox:

So he’s allowed to sell drugs now.

The best part about these arrests is going to the scumbag’s Facebook page. Sometimes you don’t find much, but sometimes, like in this case, you strike gold. Pure Turtleboy gold. This man has a different flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat for every day of the week. It comes in blue:



(Yes, that is a tube TV underneath pictures of Grandma and his half completed GED form that he never got around to filling out – very baller of him)

A different Chicago sportball team

Black and teal


This one  is pretty appropriate as well:


And yes, he is flashing a gang sign that his “gang” must’ve not realized was the international symbol for the shocker – two in the pink, one in the stink. Of course this is ideal for fishhooking a New Bedford prostitute, so it has practical purposes as well.

You’ll notice in many of those pictures he’s clearly all fucked up:

It’s OK though, because those were the old days when he was a junkbox kid. He’s “all set with that lifestyle” now though:

Now he’s not just using drugs, he’s selling them too. That’s a hoodrat success story if I’ve ever heard one.

Obviously life as a drug dealer is going great, as you can see from the glamour shots in Mom’s living room.

Ryan has no interest in “fake n words” particularly of the “haten ass n words” variety:

These particular n words obviously “needa get clapped for SNITCHIN.” Everyone knows that.

He also likes to post about how much ammo he has and what he plans to do with it:

Despite claiming to have the arsenal of a modern day Alamo, he still manaaged to get taken down by a midsized town police department in southeastern Massachusetts.

So Ryan, who you gonna kill with all that ammo?

Weird, because you had all that ammo, the cops came to your place, and you still ended up giving up the stash without a fight. Looks like the only thing you’re itching closer to is converting to Islam.

So what do you spend all this cash from fentanyl and suboxone proceeds on Ryan? Stocks? Investments? Property?

Oh right, Jordan’s. The official Euro of hoodrat. Accepted as trade by slugpumps in Western countries everywhere. Clearly this is a man who has his priorities in line, as can be seen by his long term goals, which include buying Jordan’s that match his hats:

And that’s about it.


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2 Comment(s)
  • wabbitt
    October 12, 2017 at 4:17 am

    What kind of raggedy ass drug dealer still has a CRT television? I work a shitty job and even I have a 24 inch flat screen.

  • Steven Stover
    October 10, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    I heard he snitched on a bunch of other dealers.

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