All-Star Criminals Smiles And Sunshine

Dartmouth Police Are The Latest Law Enforcement Page You Should Be Following -After Their Hillarious Viral Public Taunting Of Three Target Shoplifters And Signing It From “The Popo”

You all know how much we love stupid criminals and funny cops around here.

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

It seems the Turtleboy sense of humor is spreading down the South Coast. Welcome aboard, Dartmouth!

Man, I love it when the police start having some smart ass officer do their social media. We’ve seen it before in Bourne with their FB page and Bridgewater’s Twitter feed.

(If you haven’t caught those pages I highly suggest you check them out. The Bourne ones just slay me. Like, hurt-laugh.) 

The most recent internet vital police take down comes to us from Dartmouth. It’s a pretty big set of digs for a University town. I tend to make the drive because I’m a whore for an $18 coffee at Mirasol’s, the scallion cream cheese at New York Bagel, and falafel at Lebanese Pita Pocket. The low-key hipster in me can’t help it. I went to school there so it’s kind of like an extension of home for me.

(Gasp! The girl writing smut is edumatcated! Surely, you jest!) 


The police went semi-viral the past couple days in their hunt for three dingleberries who stole some crap at Target. They taunted these chicks and referred to themselves as “the PO-PO.”

The first one was pretty basic. Just your run of the mill “ISO IDIOTS” post.

Then, Officer Sassy Pants pops on and give the chicks an out after they started getting tips.


Of course they caught some crap from cop haters. That didn’t stop Officer Sassy Pants! He was on fire!


Guess they weren’t bluffing because OSP ended up catching his bad guys!


Now you see, Cop Haters, what they are doing is utilizing social media for community outreach to catch the bad guys. Wasting their time would have been going door to door with the picture. They don’t get to decide which crime is important and which one isn’t. They caught the attention of thousands and that makes them approachable. Smart cookies in my book! If you gave the Dartmouth Fuzz crap for this you are part of the problem.

I’m a little bummed they didn’t name names. Come on guys! Let me in on the shame sandwich slinging! I got kids to feed!

I love you guys. Seriously, we want to send whichever Sassy Pants Popo did this a T-shirt. Hit up the inbox. We won’t out you. We just think you fit right in with us!





We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

unnamed (8)

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

15 Comment(s)
  • maxs
    May 9, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    hey yelsom enough with the cops shoot blackmen – get a fing life – its scum like you they should be shooting – fuck off – try reading the fbi reports –

  • BobnMic
    May 9, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    Is Desk Girl the Dartmouth “PoPo?”

    • Kevin Lynch
      May 9, 2017 at 8:33 pm

      Fuck off

    • BobnMic
      May 10, 2017 at 12:36 am

      I meant that in a good way. Desk Girl has that same sense of humor in my opinion.

      • BobnMic
        May 10, 2017 at 4:23 am

        Oh ya I forgot. I’m not welcome here on these particular threads anymore no matter how many times and different ways I apologize. Hence the immediate attack by the real Kevin Lynch? Ya ok. Buying that. On a comment that was a simple fun gesture? Hmmm. Woops. My Bad.

        Nice try. Onward and forward I guess and I’ll remember to keep skimming past these ones moving forward. I forgot. Story looked interesting but so do the rest of them. Again – my bad.

  • Beige Caulk
    May 9, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Dear Kim Jon-un,

    Please point your nuclear devices at the following Massachusetts cities
    New Bedford
    Fall River

    Beige Caulk

    • True Reality Speaks
      True Reality Speaks
      May 9, 2017 at 7:29 pm

      You forgot all the white liberal bastions that vote in the Dems that create the Lawrences and New Bedfords of the world.


      • J99
        May 9, 2017 at 8:59 pm

        Exactly right True Reality, but don’t forgot lib strongholds like Northampton and Amherst either. Both towns full of “Social Justice Warriors” but none of them actually live within 30 miles of any of the”oppressed races” that they supposedly care so much about.

  • Glade
    May 9, 2017 at 8:59 am

    Easy to identify, follow their gov. assistance odor.

    • on it's back
      May 23, 2017 at 11:46 am

      I don’t care who you are that’s fucking funny!

  • Seriously?
    May 9, 2017 at 8:54 am

    Lirpa Yelsom? Sounds like a disease! Probably one of the culprits deflecting.

    • Teddy Daniels
      May 9, 2017 at 1:13 pm

      Shutter Island shit going on here….
      The Law of 4….

      Lirpa M Yelsom
      April M Mosley

  • May 9, 2017 at 2:55 am

    good old fashioned 21st century police work! well done! and i’m enough of a critic to say i find that medium rare

  • itsjustme
    May 9, 2017 at 2:11 am

    Bangor, Maine and Rochester, New Hampshire both have funny and entertaining police department fb pages. Rochester has been calling themselves the popo for a while.

  • NH Girl
    May 9, 2017 at 1:53 am

    Check out the Banger PD Facebook page. It is hysterical.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Here Are The Most Popular Worcester Blogs From Turtleboy Sports History