Hoodrat Heroes

Death Threat Of The Day: New Bedford Hardo Says Turtleboy Is Getting “Merked” For Disrespecting Foodstampotamus

Death Threat Of The Day: New Bedford Hardo Says Turtleboy Is Getting “Merked” For Disrespecting Foodstampotamus

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Here’s your Turtleboy inbox death threat of the day!!!

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Ummmmm…..South Shore Turtlegirl, I think he’s talking to you?

Once again, there is no such thing as an Internet threat. There are threats, and then there are words on a computer screen. People ask us all the time if we’re worried about someone coming after us. The answer is unequivocally, NO. People talk and talk and talk about finding us. But guess what? No one EVER does shit. I mean they can try, but that’s why God invented the second amendment. And you can add this winner to the list of people who talk a big game but don’t back it up:


Yup, Rishton is a “rapper.” What were the odds? And as you read in the lovely message he sent us today, we will be getting “merked,” presumably by him. This is not a threat, but rather a promise. However, the fact of the matter is they he never did the actual pinky swear, so I don’t think that counts.

Anyway Rishton, this is just a reminder that you’re not gonna do anything. We have officially called your bluff. If you’re a man, you’ll follow through with the “merking.” Until then you are nothing more than a pigeon-livered hornswoggler.

Not the first time he’s been an Internet tough guy:

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The next time you see some SJW whining about words on the Internet hurting them, remind them of the many times Turtleboy got “death threats” and show them how an adult handles it. Snowflakes whine about mean words. Turtle riders destroy mean words.

Anyway, whenever we get a message like this the first thing we try to figure out is, which scumbag are they here to defend the honor of? And by looking at his profile:

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The house money is on the New Bedford foodstampotamai. Although he did get all of our mother’s high on this dick, so he could be avenging them as well.

But make no doubt about it – this man here is a dangerous merking machine:





And by looking at his chest it’s safe to say he gets his tattoos done at the Family Dollar.


No, those are not magic markers that a child wrote on him with. That’s an actual tattoo that’s stuck on his body for eternity. Obviously his tattoo artist is really good at drawing in straight lines, and making sure all the letters are the same size and font. Professional stuff only for professional rappers.

Check out some of his beats:

No offense Rishton, but Uncle Turtleboy has been getting a lot better with his freestylin on Turtleboy Live. Pretty sure he would serve you up nicely before you even had a chance to merk him.

Oh, and the New Bedford Police should probably stay far away from him. After all, you don’t wanna be fucking with the “wrong one.”

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Anyway, Rishton is more than welcome to skype into Turtleboy Live on Friday night. We have two guests scheduled, so it should be another barn burner.


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82 Comment(s)
  • A satisfied reader
    November 4, 2017 at 11:43 am

    What in the name of transitional assistance is going on in here. I’m a little late to the party but this was the best thread I’ve read in a while. Thank you all for the laughs. Truthfully.

  • MG
    March 31, 2017 at 11:38 am

    Does he have the word “hard” tattooed on his hand to remind his dick what it’s suppose to do when he’s spanking his pencil?

  • Kerri Bishop
    March 30, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    The real crime here is him using the wutang beat and ruining it with that sloppy shit rhyming. If you have no vocabulary, then you can not rap, ever. The guys in the wu tang clan are all very smart, well spoken men. They can rhyme where it will make your head spin. How dare he steal their shit. Oh and he rapes kids so seriously fuck him.

  • Wabbitt
    March 30, 2017 at 2:30 am

    I bought a 12 piece bucket from KFC that had more muscle tone than this scrawny beta.

    • UsualSuspect
      March 30, 2017 at 7:09 am

      5’10”, 145#, Scrawny shitstain should sell his “expensive” wardrobe off and buy some food!

  • JD
    March 30, 2017 at 2:22 am

    He’s a registered sex offender …. look him up on the registry for abuse on a child !!

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 30, 2017 at 6:34 am

      Sex offenders are prohibited from being on facebook. Report him and shut his ass down.

  • Mass deztruction
    March 29, 2017 at 10:19 pm


  • White Pride White Power
    March 29, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    I love how this guy thinks trashraping a dumpsterslut at a Bills game is “disrespecting women”. LOL.

  • Nicole
    March 29, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    He’s a child molester. You can find him online!!! Unfortunately I can’t remember this winners real name.

  • Confused
    March 29, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Hey check this out you candy ass mother fuckin faggot… YOU AIN’T GONNA BUST A GRAPE!………Lmao

  • Baraque Hussein Obongo
    March 29, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    lol what a little ghetto phag…I would love to put an American History x curb jaw on his ass.

  • Josh
    March 29, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    HA!!!! What a lyricist! I remember Eminem reading his lyrics off the screen of his phone !

  • Rise Above Ignorance
    March 29, 2017 at 6:42 pm

    I wouldn’t hire him.

    He’s 5’10” he can’t merk shit without a weapon. He couldn’t even reach my face LOL

  • Lisa Genatossio
    March 29, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    sweet tattoos ……….

  • Dudes a registered sex offender
    March 29, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    You guys forgot to add that he’s a registered sex offender just Google his name and it’s everywhere that he raped a young boy. Not sure how u can rap and be a diddler at the same time.

  • ImNewHere
    March 29, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    I’m still laughing about the “r.i.p gram” tat. How sad for anyone to ever have to bury their grandmother. Cant imagine what thats like….

    • The Executioner
      March 30, 2017 at 10:27 am

      It’s not what you think. R.I.P Gram = Riston Inseminates Preteens Gram.
      It’s a written confession…

  • A black man
    March 29, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Somebody tell this bitch nigga that he’s white.

    • A white man
      March 29, 2017 at 8:45 pm

      Hey man us white folk don’t want him either. Don’t be trying to pawn him off on us.

    • White Pride White Power
      March 29, 2017 at 10:17 pm

      Turtleboy please ban this black commenter.

    • The Executioner
      March 30, 2017 at 10:23 am

      He’s not white, he’s Cape Verdean. Gutterslugs draw no lines between race versus ethnicity. Give him a trophy and maybe he will feel better about himself than his over-inflated ego already says to him in that voice he is constantly hushing in his head. The only usefulness this flesh will ever have is providing protein to the crows that will feast when his bad (and reamed) ass is taken down with a slug on the rappa trail.

  • You have all the validity of a gossiping high school girl, it’s sickening to see constant slandering of people & the city. Who posts an underage girls address & ruthlessly berates them on the Internet because she said “fuck you” to that loser Carlos thats always filming people and in people’s business; snitching and complaining about nothing. He also took a video of someone who left their trash barrels out a day after they were collected, slandering them, so that’s your source; a crazy snitch bitchmade douche that even New Bedford Guide discredits besides the videos he sends in snooping around ppls yards.

    Oh and Speaking of New Bedford guide, its basically New Bedford let’s all say our trash opinions about the latest overdose & talk about what kind of crackers go best with police officer Schmegmal dick cheese.
    Lastly, this has nothing to do with being an SJW or not, you’re human garbage, and youre clearly pushing an agenda.
    This whole “you cant handle this? Youre an sjw cunt” shit is so stupid. People arent offended, their fucking pissed that you posted their information on your site without asking, and ruthlessly slander anyone who disagrees with your standard of morals.

    And lastly, I know you think everything is a joke and everyone is all talk, but considering your anonymous and you’re putting their names, addresses, photos and all of their personal information out there, it’s not going to be a joke when someone finds out who you are. this is in Portland or Denver, this is an a town full of SJW’s who will be hurt by your feelings, this is a city full of people who don’t put up with bullshit or disrespect and don’t put up with bullshit or disrespect and once your identity is revealed, someone is going to fuck you up or kill you. It isn’t called “secret city” for nothing, do your homework.

    • blow me new bedford suck-up
      March 29, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      Here’s the simple answer to that. Don’t be trash, don’t act like trash, there won’t be a concern. There are no stories on here about upstanding citizens, honest people, people who work for what they get. People are tired of you pieces of shit. So, change dipshit. Stop being a shit and you won’t have to worry. You got that in you?

    • Amused by train wrecks
      March 29, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      Is that wigger a didler and if so are you cool with that?

  • Publius
    March 29, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    Is this creature for real? Tel the hardo to meet us at the TB statue anytime. That Lynch creep never showed.

  • Sexual Chocolate
    March 29, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Solid groove in that video. However a little light in the lyric dept. When he was stuck for a word, he just threw an “N” word in there, as if it gave him some street cred.

    Flat brimmed Hornets hat is incredibly random.

    A fascinating Facebook wall. He used to train MMA, so be wary gang. That’s 125 lbs of whoop ass coming our way.

  • lolwhut
    March 29, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Straight outta bagger/cart runner at Stop & Shop to CEO/Manager/Owner & Lead Artist at HEAVY HITTAZ PRODUCTIONS!!!
    I am… merked!!!

  • March 29, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    But since you’re so fucked in the head, there’s not much chance that the chief will give you a gun

  • Riston is a didler
    March 29, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Riston W Borges
    View photos: 1

    Last known address:
    41 Jason Drive Dartmouth
    New Bedford MA 02748

    Gender: M
    Age: 22
    Height: 5 ft. 10 in.
    Weight: 145
    Race/Ethnicity: White
    Hair Color: Black
    Eye Color: Brown


  • The Executioner
    March 29, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    I don’t understand how scum like this manages to survive in today’s world. Like he said, his wardrobe has more value than he does…good thing for that. And word is that all those tattoo’s are done with a Sharpie, so no worries about making a lifelong impression, because that would be impossible. Oxygen depleting vermin is all he is…hopefully he doesn’t breed but there is always some skank that would be impressed with is “type”, whatever that is.

  • Turd Burglestein
    March 29, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    At least he didn’t hit you with a flurry of hashtags like brian albrecht. There’s no coming back from that.

  • azifell99
    March 29, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    What the fuck is a Riston

  • Cocomom
    March 29, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    GEEZUZ! What is with the inevitable, ever-present middle finger selfie??? WHAT?

  • I can't even
    March 29, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    Merked? Is that like a merkin?

  • B
    March 29, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    “And by looking at his chest it’s safe to say he gets his tattoos done at the Family Dollar” Now that is funny!!

  • Let's Be Honest
    March 29, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    With a middle name like Ass Destruction it’s not like he’s making any secret of his lifestyle. At this point he may as well shave the beard and go full twink.

  • Mom's Basement
    March 29, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    The diameter of his asshole is large enough to accommodate a Rottweiler. Kind of sad how the Rottweiler won’t even cuddle afterwards.

    • Mass deztruction
      March 29, 2017 at 1:40 pm

      Easy to run that cum swallowin mouth on the internet bitch. But what u gonna do tho??? Nothin just like the rest of u mouth runnin fake pussies
      If u think i give a flyin fuck what anyone of u THINK U KNOW ABOUT ME . Keyword THINK . Then ur sadly mistaken i stopped givin a fuck what people think about me a long time ago. But anyone whos gonna sit here and support the trash and filth that this company talks about females with … then that says alot about ur damn selves doesnt it ? Every single one of u oughtta be ashamed of yourselves . Cuz ur far from grown

      • Kevin Blackmer
        March 29, 2017 at 1:47 pm


      • ZephyrCat
        March 29, 2017 at 1:56 pm

        Hey riston (fuck kinda name is that, ever think of changing it?), you’ve already backed down from the “mad” threats to merely chastising us. We should be ashamed of ourselves? You’re the one having a sexual relationship with your dog. I’m assuming it’s your dog. I see you got a shirt over your junk in the picture with the dog. Were you trying to hide your boner? Cuz dogs love dem bones, right?!?!

        • Fistin' Riston
          March 29, 2017 at 2:25 pm

          Prison name, bitch… I just dropped the silent ‘W’ cause that just gayed it up. I always had a fist up in me like Kermit the Frog or some shit… Boys started calling me Fistin’ to the (W)Riston… The Weapon of Ass Destruction… And it stuck.

        • Riston
          March 29, 2017 at 2:27 pm

          It’s a cross between raped/fisting/pissed on which were all part of my initiation. I do take that like it ain’t no thang

      • Joe Flow
        March 29, 2017 at 3:12 pm

        You say you’re hard?
        I’d believe this after you saw penis
        Only thing you’re doing is showing off weakness
        Like every time you rhyme or wear a sleeveless

      • Don't blo your ego
        March 29, 2017 at 3:31 pm

        You clearly do care what people think about you or you wouldn’t be freakin out worse than a 12 year old who just got told he has to repeat the 6th grade for the 3rd year in a row while also attending summer school. Your wardrobe? You mean your “Saver’s Select donation bin” clothing? Can you even afford the gas or taxi ride to turtleboys crib to “merk” him? (Does merk mean fist an asshole? Cuz then this would alll make sense) Or you can download the uber app and use your first free ride to get there! Unless you’ve already taken advantage of that steal of a deal!! lol ohh and how’s the rap career going? Nonexistent?? Ohhh, and do you sell your foodstamps?? I thought soo you might and I know a low life that needs to buy some, I figured you two low life’s could work something out, he’s a real tool, so you have shit in common lol oh well, carry on. Shhhittt! And DON’T kill yourself from the bullying, I don’t want that kind of blood on my hands lol

        • Phineas J Whoopie
          March 29, 2017 at 4:06 pm

          I believe he means “mirkin” — a pubic wig. Used in the middle ages to replace women’s pubic hair that was shaved off to eliminate lice and other insects.

          As in “Reston’s Gram wore a silvery grey mirkin after shaving from the infestation.”

          • Turd Burglestein
            March 29, 2017 at 4:43 pm

            They were worn by prostitutes. My grandmother wore one of those! I think I still have it as it was left to me in her will. I had been thinking of breaking it out to cover my ever-growing troublesome baldspot.

      • RISTON'S BF
        March 29, 2017 at 5:06 pm

        My baby ain’t soft, u shuld see his raging 3 incher.

      • BobnMic
        March 29, 2017 at 5:54 pm

        I’ll meet you, bitch – tonight! Give me your address. I’ll bring the turkey baster, home enima kit and industrial-sized drum of K-Y. Is it cool if I bring my friend Kevin L.? Shit, that was too obvious. Let’s just call him K. Lynch.

      • You're a cunt
        March 29, 2017 at 10:16 pm

        You sexually assault children. You should probably blast yourself with the same “weapon” you imagine yourself “merking” everyone else with.

  • Mass deztruction
    March 29, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    U think that bothers me bro u can try to knock me down or ruin my life but ur a piece of shit loser period ! Who spends their life worryin about what other people r doin with theirs ? A loser like u. And im far from just words nigga . Go ahead keep postin about me and makin me a trendin topic. Lmao u dont phase me clown. Im glad u think that threat is a bluff. Hahaha u clearly dont know who your fuckin with. U look really starvin for attention postin all my pictures up . Seein as how my warddrobe s worth more than ur whole existence …playboy. And i didnt defend foodstampapotamus. I dont care which one it is . Ur disrespectin females period and that shit dont fly with a man like me. Ill be seein u realllllll soon bitch . And ima have torturin and hearin u beg me to stop . Unlike u pussy i back up my words with actions so until then. Sleep with one eye open bitch

    • Sargeant Hulka
      March 29, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      Lighten up Francis.

    • Mass deztruction
      March 29, 2017 at 1:36 pm

      And if im so sawftttt come do something . Stfu and be about it bitch. If u thing im so soft come call me that to my face….. easy to comment on the internet bitch

      • StreetSweepah
        March 29, 2017 at 1:41 pm

        Kiss your boyfriend with that mouth? You must be hardcore to let the Special Olympians do your ink… Now, run along junior… Gram must be proud when she looks up from getting ass reamed by Satan and sees you getting ass reamed by Leroy and the boys…

      • Cocomom
        March 29, 2017 at 2:20 pm

        Could you run that by us in English?

      • Sasha The Fire Gypsy
        March 29, 2017 at 2:45 pm

        Your dick is sawftttt !

      • JayMac413
        March 30, 2017 at 11:04 am

        WTF did u do cuzzo

      • Mark wright
        March 31, 2017 at 6:54 am

        Wait…i thought you were already going to do something to him? Now he has to find you? Exactly why he posted this shit, people like you put are actors bro. Get over it, he squashed you and wont let your words dictate his right to the 1st amendment

    • Kevin Blackmer
      March 29, 2017 at 1:44 pm


      • Long John
        March 29, 2017 at 8:13 pm

        Actually it’s “your”…. you’re is “you are”. If “you’re” going to be a grammar Nazi, atleast be correct first!

    • ZephyrCat
      March 29, 2017 at 1:50 pm

      Hey, let’s introduce this asshole to Brian Albrecht! Lock them in a room together with guns and swords, nothing else. Make sure there are multiple cameras in the room.

    • Riston is a didler
      March 29, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Does this bother you?

      Riston W Borges
      View photos: 1

      Last known address:
      41 Jason Drive Dartmouth
      New Bedford MA 02748

      Gender: M
      Age: 22
      Height: 5 ft. 10 in.
      Weight: 145
      Race/Ethnicity: White
      Hair Color: Black
      Eye Color: Brown


      • Registered
        March 29, 2017 at 6:13 pm

        Whooops! Damn internet, you can find out anything!

    • BeefSupreme666
      March 29, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      Lol you are no more than a joke around here , you talk to much and this wanna be rapper shit has to stop, go back to what you do best and that’s pushing shopping carts at stop n shop , if you work hard enough they may let you sweep the floor next. It does take work, also you sound like this other looser I know named Nick Nadeau, I thing you might be related with all the tough talk with no action. I applaud Turtleboy for posting all of this to show what the dirt in the city is doing lately, apparently nothIng

    • MojoJoJo
      March 29, 2017 at 3:44 pm

      Hey pantywaste at least we can speak and spell peoper english.

    • Words to Riston from a woman
      March 29, 2017 at 4:21 pm

      Funny. I’m literally laughing at this kid. Threatening to “merk” turtle boy for disrespecting women but his charge is rape on a child? So it’s not okay to call out the low life women who take advantage of the government but it’s okay to Rape or Sexually vise a child? Clearly your the epitome of gutter rats that live in New Bedford. Here’s an idea for you and all the trash wanna be rappers from the “hard streets” of New Bedford or any part of MA. Y’all ain’t going nowhere. Your music is awful. Literally gives me a headache. It’s so easy to write a verse and make things up in your head about how hard life is when you smoke weed all day, fuck legit ratchets , talk loud and swear. A real man works takes care of his family and provides for them. You look like trash your tattoos are a joke and your music is a pile of horse shit. How old do you have to be to realize your not going anywhere but the grave if you keep acting like the punk your “homies” think is so cool. I’m a 32 yr old female and I can tell you women don’t find that attractive (real women) so grow up . You call out people being brave with comments … your bitch ass is sending messages and comments like a 5 yr old who lost a video game. WHAT are you going to do? Ride your scooter to turtleboy ? Hahaha grow up.

    • Riston beater
      March 29, 2017 at 5:59 pm

      Such a real man defending women everywhere what about your charges there hard ass your fake ass little white bitch your a clown ass bitch

    • Riston Loves Cock
      March 29, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      Trying to ruin your life??? Yeah, I think you already accomplished that youself.

    • Someones Father
      March 31, 2017 at 3:45 am

      You popped up on my neighborgood watch dog.. care to explain how youre a registered Sex Offender?? Destroyed some kids life.. what a fucking loser dude.. next time you come down to the bar i work at im outing you infront of everyone as a diddler.


  • ZephyrCat
    March 29, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    First riston ( fuck kinda name is that anyway?), I must thank you for telling me “what time it is”. I had been wondering. And I see you be kicking some “mad” heads, instead of the happy heads, I assume. Cute, lyrical assassin in magic marker on your puny chest. And so sweet, you posted a picture with your girlfriend/boyfriend….I’ll assume the dog’s the top in the relationship.

    • Wabbitt
      March 30, 2017 at 2:32 am

      The dog could do better.

  • JoeMomma
    March 29, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    My 12 year old daughter would kick his ass

  • Barry
    March 29, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    He likes it hard in the ass so much that he got it tattooed on him. Ass twice in a row just for emphasis! Either that or the guy who owned him in prison did it.

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 29, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      I saw that. Ass ass in. He likes it in the ass, too. That’s definitely something I have in common with him. I’m in the anal phase of my life as well. As you age you you go from genital back to anal fixation. At least that’s what Freud said. Anything I can push in my ass, I grab for. Has made for some interesting visits to the emergency room. Anyway, Riston, give me a call. We can do the double-headed dildo thing into our asses at the same time. You know, ass ass in!

  • Troubled Nostrils
    March 29, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Obviously race fluidity is a thing now.

    • ZephyrCat
      March 29, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      He might as well just do blackface and complete the deal. WOW! Talk about imitating what you see. Was there no male figure in his life at all that he turned to rap trash to emulate? Watched the video with the waste can close by so I didn’t have to run anywhere when I heaved.

  • Karl
    March 29, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    I don’t understand his messages… Tried Google translate with no luck…

  • amateur jail ink
    March 29, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    What is it ? Another dynamo of society.

  • Kick it boy
    March 29, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    S. A. W. F. T… Sawwwwwwft. Boy ain’t hard. Boy ain’t shit. Suge or Biggie would have this guy in pee pee pants city. Hell, Vanilla Ice is harder than this wack ass wannabe.

    • Merkin the Gurkin
      March 29, 2017 at 7:31 pm

      Make him a 5 seed.

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