Reader Emails

Deskie Vs Brockton’s Princess Fupajuicer: Fupa Fills Out The Form Because She Hates Being Called Old And Loves Her Some Abi

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

I’m really thankful that our Desk Girl is finally back to her regularly scheduled work routine. If I had one more midnight phone call from the hospital, with her lunatic ramblings about her crush on the Gyno surgeon, I might have taste-tested a bullet. The girl goes in for a deep cyst lancing, seems to end up with a lobotomy, and forgets we hate each other…. She even asked me if I would watch her cat. 

Yeah, no. I made Abi call her breeder Pam to watch her menagerie of lazy-eyed ginger animals. 

So when Karen Monahan, the broad from earlier in the week who outted her husband as a kiddie porn enthusiast on the Brockton Hub, messaged Abi they were immediate BFFs. Adorbs. We all know how the only friend Deskie has is Cleatus. 
Just in case you missed one of the most insane blogs of all time, starring Karen, can catch up HERE

Brockton Fupajuicer Princess Announces She Caught Ex-Husband Making Tummy Pancakes To Kiddie Noodz And Is Ratting Because He Stopped Paying $200 Monthly Blackmail Cash

It couldn’t have been more Brockton Hub if it tried. Seems Karen was a little pissed that we used bad pictures of her and went running to a Turtlerider who recommended she go see Desk Girl. Low and behold. However the message came in late and we had to inform her that Abi wouldn’t be in until the next morning. 

Sorry Karen, Abi wasn’t at the ER. She was at the Old Country Buffet stuffing her gob (and purse) with cheese biscuits. 

Now, usually I sit back and laugh at the people that Abi deals with. I kind of really liked Karen. She was super polite and I  kind of feel bad giving  her a second blog. This one is more about Abi than Karen because, well, you’ll see. Deskie would have a fit if she knew I go digging through the inbox looking for blog material. She really doesn’t read the blogs and so I can get away with it. 

You get that? Karen got tricked in to going down to South Carolina. She’s not even sad about the crazy mistake she made blowing up her asshole husband online. She’s devastated that people are telling her she looks old. Priorities. 

Of course Abi’s brain goes directly to the movie Deliverance.

Wow, that was quite the rant. Now comes the obligatory “SSTG is mean to me” line. Next she will whiney about me fucking with the bathroom locks.

Karen, however, was really touched by the story of Deskie’s aunt. Such fond memories choking on chicken. 

Get rid of anything about her? You mean like pull the whole blog and redact her name out of the post she made? Yeah, not going to happen. The Brockon Hub is fair game.

We have also told Abi that if people call in for the Live show that we don’t make fun of them. She was really happy to pitch that idea. 

Karen is the only shining star that gets the form twice. She also took a couple days to fill it out. 

He really did her dirty. I would have been pissed too. 

Karen made me crack up here with her million emojis. From what I can tell is that she hated the blog and loved Abi. Sounds like the two of them might want to take a dip in the lady pond. Wink. 😉😉😉😉 Wink. 


Come on. How delicious would this be? 

I can imagine the score being done with cowbells and banjos. 

So hawt. 

1 Comment(s)
  • Inspector Gadget
    July 15, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Deskie girl’s pick scares the shit out of me.

Comment on this Post


Guest Blog: Janay Rice Can’t Stop Tweeting About Adrian Peterson Kicking The Shit Out Of His Kid
Guest Blog: Minnesota Moron Wears Worst Adrian Peterson Outfit Ever
This Ice Dancing Guy Hates Turtleboy Sports So Much I Can’t Help But Respect Him