All-Star Criminals

Do You Know This Worcester Muff Who Smashed Wrong Car Window Of A Disabled 58 Year Old Woman?

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So a Turtle Rider sent me a pretty hilarious video yesterday of some Worcester muff committing a crime of passion on hidden camera. Unfortunately for the genius criminal she apparently took her jilted love rage out on the wrong person. It’s a 2 minute video, but the climax is fantastic. During the first minute all you can see is a car that is clearly casing the neighborhood looking for the car they’re gonna smash up Carrie Underwood style. Then the action starts….

Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Here you have this woman, who apparently is getting back at another woman who slept with a man, who more than likely is named Shane. Instead of taking it out on the man who spreads his seed like he’s planting sunflowers, she takes it out on the other woman. Except the only problem is, this wasn’t the other woman. It was the wrong house. Oops!!

My favorite part is when she starts walking away like she’s captain badass:

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Then right on cue….

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Down goes Frazier!!!

You can’t teach this kind of stupid. It comes from within. First of all, if you’re gonna write “Fuck you slut” on someone’s window….


make sure you don’t waste your time writing on the window you’re about to smash with your elbow

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or else it will turn out like this


Yo u $lut? I don’t get it. Oh yea, and I LOVE the fact that this muff sandwich somehow pulls off this entire feat while having her cigarette hanging from her mouth like she’s the old mechanic trying to explain to you that you need a new carburetor.

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According to the woman who posted the video this beautiful Worcester specimen was confused. The car she smashed up belong to her parents, both of whom are in their late 50’s. This has led to internet gumshoes on the “Your Probably From Worcester If” Facebook page reaching hilarious conclusions.

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LOL. Yea, I’m sure this upstanding citizen is a nurse. Newsflash – this is what I like to call a “Grafton Hill pant suit.” It’s what you wear out to a fancy dinner at the Grafton Street Friendly’s.

It’s SHOCKING that someone would cheat on this woman. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be in a monogamous relationship with a psychotic, butt-ripping, single mother in her formal pajamas? I bet you a million dollar this is the girl who got dumped by the lead rapper from Get Down Productions. She must’ve seen “Feelin Go-oo-oo-ood” and thought that this car belonged to the girl who was proposed to in that legendary parking lot video.





Then there were the idiots who jumped to the conclusion that this idiot was somehow justified in her actions:

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What’s really sad is that odds are Jay Alday has a high school degree, and that’s the best sentence he could put together. Then there were these ding-dongs:

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Yea, this was totally a justifiable action. Clearly the victim deserved to have their window smashed because they fornicated with the alleged muff. Something tells me that smashing windows is pretty standard procedure for my girl Gina Moore.

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Since Kellyann has watched several episodes of Jerry Springer she obviously has this whole situation figured out. Doesn’t matter that she has no fucking clue what she’s talking about. Just blurt it all out on the Internet, that’s always a good idea. Until this happens….

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Apparently this idiot hasn’t gotten caught yet, but this is what Turtleboy Sports is good for – catching bad guys. If you recognize this woman call the police non-emergency line at 508-799-8606. Whatever you do don’t send me your leads and tips. I am not a detective. I am merely a blogger/role model. Nothing more, nothing less.

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3 Comment(s)
  • Finnish Goalie
    February 21, 2015 at 7:57 am

    Any more information on the fools on the 4-Wheeler?

    Also, got an update on the Fund Me for the baby girl? I think some update articles would be good, especially her fund raiser. People give if aware.

  • masturnater
    February 21, 2015 at 12:08 am

    Do a follow up to the earlier on the year Jeff snow article. Recent gold about driveway shovelling

  • Not-A-Hippie
    February 20, 2015 at 11:57 pm

    She smacked the window. but it’s pretty clearly not “smashed”.

    A psychotic moron? Yep. But unless there’s actual damage, you’d be hard-pressed to prosecute her for so much as disturbing the peace.

    Which is even scarier, really.

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