Hoodrat Heroes

Douglas MA Hardo Sent Us The Most Hilarious, Nonsensical Series Of Facebook Messages You Will Ever Read

We get a lot of hate mail at Turtleboy Sports, but can’t remember getting a message this legendary in a while.

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Every day we get some fantastic hate mail from butthurts. But today we received quite possibly the most epic, nonsensical rant from one of Douglas’ finest, who wasn’t happy that something he said was screenshotted in a blog we published earlier today. We wrote about some Webster Wangsta who got busted for stealing a $3,400 necklace in a snatch and run at the Auburn Mall Sears.

Webster Wangsta Who Was Arrested For Stealing A $3,400 Necklace From Auburn Mall Sears Is The Most Ghettofabulous Hoodrat We’ve Ever Seen

We screenshotted an epic hoodrat conversation from his Facebook page:

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And then today we got this in our inbox. Trigger warning – make sure you have a bottle of aspirin ready to go, because this dose of hoodrat gutter soup is gonna give you a headache like you’ve never felt before:

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Sweet baby Jesus. I need a cigarette after reading that. Seriously, what is the deal with these people and their period-phobias? Why do they hate periods so much? Is it really that hard to hit the God damn period button? If you’re on a phone you don’t even have to capitalize the next letter. It will automatically do that for you. I don’t get it.

And for the millionth time, you chud stuffers have no idea who Turtleboy is. I know you all get stuck on one name because you think Turtleboy is one singular person, and you’re so fucking stupid that you actually believed something that Dreadlockzilla wrote about us over at the Turtlegram. But we have more writers than you realize, and they all pen under the name “Turtleboy.” Don’t you get it? Writing for Turtleboy Sports like sharing your Netflix password. You have no idea who is writing each one. That’s the beauty of Turtleboy Sports. Anyone can pen for us and we won’t reveal their identity.

So these messages came in spurts. Guess he thought we were ignoring him. In reality we’re just kind of busy and don’t have time to immediately respond to every gutterslug who wants to air their grievances. Maybe we should hire a secretary. Because our inbox has become a hot mess.

Anyway, for such a hard ass Corey St. George doesn’t have much of a digital footprint. Usually when we Google these people we get a page full of their favorite courthouse memories. But he comes up with nothing. If you think for one second we’re gonna be intimidated into taking a blog down because some GED caboose with no priors told us to, then you clearly don’t understand what Turtleboy Sports is all about.

Don’t. Poke. The. Turtle.

P.S. Corey, we know you’re reading this. We cordially invite you to share your thoughts on the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page. Brett Killoran and Matty Mo and the boys are looking for a new play toy.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.



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15 Comment(s)
  • September 3, 2017 at 10:41 am

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  • Mistressveila
    January 11, 2017 at 12:20 am

    I just happened to be in Court room 14, yesterday,when theses bozos came up to face justice, ha ha.. the idiot who snatched the 3400 buck necklace from the auburn mall..He’s a 20 year old looser, living in mom’s basement, and still trying to finish high school in Auburn HS at age 20. it was revealed he stole it,the necklace to buy weed… that’s what he said…weed… where is he going to fence a 3400 dollar necklace? You can’t pawn it? And if you do find someone to fence it, they’re going to give you about $100 for it ,cuz you can’t get rid of merchandise like that !He has a new court appearance and has to stay away from the auburn mall…that was her,the judges ruling..
    The other ding dong, was the idiot that tried to pull the atm,out of gorettis market and didn’t quite succeed ..seeing he tied the chain around the bumper of his car and around the atm,and the bumper fell off, because the atm’s weight like 2 tons on purpose…. he too was given a date to reappear and stay away from gorettis supermarket… needless to say both were released on their own recognisance and given a new date to appear..
    Apparently, even if you are charged with armed robbery ,kidnapping ,domestic violence,etc, you’re released on your own recognisance these days…yes 2 different gentlemen,both charged with armed robbery,and one with kidnapping and attempted murder, let go with new dates to appear.. not one case all day did she detain or keep in custody..not one …
    And we wonder about our fucking liberal justice system….

  • True Reality Speaks
    Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
    January 10, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    Love reading these pre-pubescent pussies whining when they get outed for their dumb fuckery. Even more entertaining are the threats from these basement dwelling keyboard tough guys. Should have arranged a meet & grope between him and “he who shall not be named” at Whitco.

  • The Poop Hole Loop Hole
    January 10, 2017 at 7:11 pm

    What a dumb shit bag.

  • Yoda Larson
    January 10, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Write that, I did not…

  • Cat Vomit Tango
    January 10, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    Okay…I admit. I read his entire screed. Obviously the pussy hasn’t reached puberty…he never had his first period.

  • Gary Bobby Ferguson
    January 10, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Shit I knew this kid in middleschool. Flunked out of school and been smoking since he was 10. Suprised to hear he’s actually still alive, and equally as retarded as before.

    Douglas is a shithole, don’t live here.

    • Dunks
      January 10, 2017 at 9:24 pm

      Why is Douglas a shit hole?

  • WormtownorBust
    January 10, 2017 at 6:43 am

    Run on sentences. Did not read.

  • Spankster
    January 9, 2017 at 11:49 pm

    D-Town!!! I love it. Drop this jamoke off on Main South or on Warren Ave. in the “Bury” and this wannabe will be crapping rocks

  • Vanilla Ice
    January 9, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    Times like this, I wish I didn’t start it and now look at the outcome.

  • Citygirl58
    January 9, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    Don’t WAIST his time. LOL.
    I love to WASTE my time reading these story’s. He can WAIST his non valuable time (oops might be too big of a word) thinking how he can be a Gangster Wanna Be.
    This is always good WASTED time.
    I support Turtle Boys and Friends.

    • LLC
      January 10, 2017 at 7:47 am

      Right? “Waist”…”Your”

      Kid is a dummy.

  • January 9, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    Aiden Kearny died for our sins

  • Shackleford
    January 9, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Jesus Christ, he can’t spell, can’t write, can’t keep his thoughts straight, is so overly repetitive and isn’t the least bit intimidating. What an illiterate pussy.

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