All-Star Criminals

Fam Starts $20K GoFundMe For Poonstachio Who Got Shot By West Springfield PD After High Speed Chase Where He Ran Over Cop’s Foot And Rammed Into Cop Cars

Fam Starts $20K GoFundMe For Poonstachio Who Got Shot By West Springfield PD After High Speed Chase Where He Ran Over Cop’s Foot And Rammed Into Cop Cars

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM




On Sunday West Springfield police officers were injured after some assbag led them on a drunken high speed chase, rammed into several cops cars, and ended up jumping out of the car and charging at the police before being shot in the shoulder and leg. From Masslive:

A man shot three times by police after a wild chase in West Springfield early Sunday is expected to be arraigned Wednesday in his hospital room at Baystate Medical Center. Fifteen charges, including attempted murder and operating under the influence of liquor, have been filed against Jeremy E. Hollins, 29, of Springfield. Police have said four cruisers were damaged and three officers injured in the incident, and that Hollins rammed police vehicles with his car. 

During a hearing Tuesday in Springfield District Court, Judge John Payne agreed to allow Hollins to be arraigned Wednesday in his hospital room. Hollins suffered two gunshot wounds to the shoulder and one to his leg after allegedly charging officers who arrested him after a manhunt in the area of Memorial Avenue and Colony Road. Defense lawyer Raipher Pellegrino said his client is in “tough shape” and will likely remain hospitalized for at least another week. 

And they now have a video of what it sounded like when the shooting happened:

So I just kind of assumed that Jeremy Hollins was your run of the mill Springfield ratchet who gets fucked up and drives into cop cars occasionally. Princeza Aponte with a schmenzer. Turns out he’s actually a legitimate, regular, normal looking citizen with a LinkedIn page:


Yup. He’s an “operations and asset manager.” I have no idea what that means, but the fact that he wears a suit in his profile picture, went to Bucknell, and has an ambiguous, important sounding job title, is the twist of the century.

He also seems to have recently gotten hitched, to his lovely wife Shereese:



And of course Shereese has started a $20,000 GoFundMe (the Shaw’s brand version of GoFundMe) for her poor hubby who is sitting in a hospital room because he tried killing a bunch of cops:

Screen Shot 2017-04-27 at 11.28.40 AM

Screen Shot 2017-04-27 at 11.28.49 AM

Screen Shot 2017-04-27 at 11.29.12 AM

The best part is the “story”:

Screen Shot 2017-04-27 at 11.28.59 AM

Yea, you just forgot to mention why and how he sustained those gunshot wound Shereese. Kind of an important part of the story, no? Oh, and since both seem to be gainfully employed with jobs that more than likely pay for their health insurance, what do you need $20K for? Seriously, this is the GoFundMeification of America people. Whenever something unfortunate happens to ANYONE, the instinctive move is to immediately capitalize off of it. Doesn’t matter if the cause is legitimate or not. When someone gets hurt or dies, you start a GoFundMe before you even contact the funeral home.

And because he’s from Springfield some of Masslive’s finest have come out to defend his honor in the comments:

Screen Shot 2017-04-27 at 11.42.00 AM

I have no idea what my man Bebo is trying to say here, but I’m sure it’s well thought out and he brings up some strong points that could certainly change my mind about this. And you’ll never guess who Bebo’s favorite NBA team is…..


Like clockwork. #413BikeLife!!


Then there was Alexandria:

Screen Shot 2017-04-27 at 11.42.36 AM

“So because he rammed a cop car and ran over a cops foot he should be shot at 11 times?”

Yes. Generally if you ever find yourself asking that question, the answer will always be, “yes.” I thought it was kind of common sense to know that ramming your car into police cruisers and running over a cop’s foot is gonna get you shot. This is the state of the country right now. I’d say I’m surprised, but then again we’re living in the era of “hands up, don’t shoot,” where everyone is a Facebook crime expert and no matter what a criminal does you’re not allowed to shoot them. Ya know, because black lives matter.

Anyway, I wanna find out more about this. Dude seemed like a regular guy and then he just went on this rampage? Wudupwitdat? He’s got no priors and no reason to do this. He had to have been on drugs, right? I mean, we’ve all been drunk before, but I can’t say I’ve ever had the urge to do this. The worst I did was spectacularly fail on a cow tipping mission in Hadley or make out with some girl who doesn’t love me.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

11 Comment(s)
  • September 4, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure
    whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem.
    You are wonderful! Thanks!

  • Violent felon
    April 27, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    Society would have been better off if he was removed from the planet.

  • mystressovmayhem
    April 27, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    Just another “My baby dindu nuffin” story. Clearly baby boy had sexual identity issues. Could this have been a failed “death by cop”?

    Gotta love the magically left out info from the “get porked by me” post. Looks like one of those thiglet cop stop videos!

    “Just the facts ma’am!” They mean the real ones though Sharkesha, not your crazy assed version.

  • Dip Shit!
    April 27, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    This stupid shit is fuckin’ lucky to be alive! Count your blessings asshole, that you are not currently in the county morgue! These cops had every right to potentially kill you! I think they showed great restraint at not sending you to Hell!

  • EmfnT
    April 27, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    A gun, drugs and sex toys seized from vehicle of suspect shot by West Springfield police

    • DoubleHeadedDong!
      April 27, 2017 at 2:15 pm


      Boom, Chicka, WA! WA!

      Not big enough for Shereese? Or is it a strap-on so Jeremy can take it like a little bitch!

      • Madcow not Rachel
        April 27, 2017 at 4:52 pm

        Another candidate to be Kyle Kennedy’s new turd burglar……….

  • GoFundMyWedding!
    April 27, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    they probably need the GoFundMe to pay for the wedding! A friend recently spent 50 grand on a wedding for their daughter! That’s effin’ insane!

  • Julie
    April 27, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Really? My poor pug bobo s in tufts,in grafton needing expensive throat surgery to save his ljfe..I got $ 40 on a youcaring this toolbag has over $200 more people would help him than a,sweet puggy? Whats the world coming to 🙁

  • Lightbulb
    April 27, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    He’s gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • K
    April 27, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    Don’t forget to add to the twist all of the sex toys that were found in his car. Weird.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?