All-Star Criminals

Feces-Covered Hoardapotumus Arrested For Animal Cruelty And Child Neglect, Has 50 Neglected Animals Removed From Deplorable Home “Rescue”

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Florida, in my opinion, is God’s waiting room. You go there to wait to die, whether it’s because you’re retired and trying to enjoy your last precious days of incontinence and arthritic pain in the sun , or you are sitting in a complicit haze of welfare and filth until you eventually expire. This story is definitely the latter. There is no shortage of scumfuckery in the Sunshine State.

We have here an animal “rescue” out of Jacksonville, Florida. I put rescue in quotations, because this unhinged skag is doing anything but rescuing these poor creatures. Let me introduce you to Samantha Skelton, and her husband, Chris.

They have been extremely active on Facebook animal rescue groups for quite some time. They have a solid group of fervent supporters, despite the fact that they are heinous animal abusers. 

If they don’t look like a couple that would live in a feces-strewn pile of animal abuse, I don’t know who does. Honestly.

This whole thing really started in February 2018, so I’m going to walk this through starting then.

Samantha belongs to over 300 animal rescue groups on Facebook, spanning the state of Florida to all the way to Georgia. Samantha built herself a good reputation as a rescuer online, but as we all know, with enough strategic posting, you can be just about anyone you want on Fakebook. Samantha used this to her advantage, and before too long, the Gofundmes started popping up.

Of course. I don’t know whose horse that even is, or what a horse even has to do with their shady animal imprisonment operation, but that’s the picture they went with. Double sympathy points for the old lady with the walker!

Around the same time, Samantha started to throw some red flags that some group admins started to catch wind of, particularly the group Jacksonville Fl Pets Needing Homes. One of the admins has tirelessly been working to expose the evils transpiring in this house of horrors, and has agreed to go on record with everything she knows. Her name is Ashley Combs, and she has been endlessly vocal about shutting this scam operation down, despite how much she has been trashed and threatened online. We need more people like Ashley in the world. She stood up for those defenseless animals and that child.

They started to notice that this scumrag was pulling animals from out of state shelters, and working with less than reputable “rescues” to get her animals. In February, Samantha and Chris put their Jacksonville home on the market. Two acquaintances of Ashley’s went to go take a look at the house, and were horrified by what they saw. They recounted the home as being deplorable, with 34 animals living in neglect and filth. A neighbor reported seeing one of Samantha’s rescue dogs attack and kill another dog, powerless from where she watched just over her fence. Ashley had had enough. So she took action, and reported everything to the authorities.

And the authorities did nothing.

And this neglatapotamus took to Facebook to gloat in the most long-winded streak of self important bullshit ever, that you can read here, if you’re really that interested.

And then she continued to  post Gofundme.

After Gofundme.


It’s worth noting, that Samantha has several days notice to prepare for this particular investigation. Although it’s not completely certain or clear, the consensus from my sources seems to be that during this time she packed up her hoardapolooza, tidied up the dumpster den a bit, and just crossed the threshold between “total abomination of a mess” and “eh, it’s not ideal, but it’s your life, lady”. She claims to even have received donations by the means of supplies from the authorities who initially investigated. If that’s true, shame on them. Really. Because clearly, what was being reported wasn’t hearsay, or vindictive harassment. It was genuine concern, for a legitimate issue, and in late August of this year, Ashley and others alarmed by this bootleg, horror show of a “rescue”‘s conditions, had their efforts finally vindicated.

Via The Flordia Times Union: 

“….Arrested Friday on the same charges each, 39-year-old Christopher Wilson Skelton and 40-year-old Samantha Joy Skelton bonded out of jail the next day, according to Duval County jail records. Now the spouses, whose Facebook pages indicate they run Neverland Animal Rescue Inc., are pleading for emergency funds to pay for legal costs.

“All that matters to me is my family and our animals,” Samantha Skelton wrote. “I need to raise funds quickly.”

Officers were called to the home off Dunn Avenue on a search warrant for animal neglect, the arrest report said. City animal control officers had received complaints about the home and also served their own search warrant the day before. They found multiple animals and the home’s floors so covered in feces that “it is unsafe for humans and animals to breathe the toxic fumes,” the report said.

…..When the police officer arrived at the home Friday, there was such a heavy ammonia smell inside that a mask was needed. Once inside, there was so much feces and trash on the floor that it was impossible not to step on it, the report said. The officer then found the family’s single bed in a back bedroom, “littered with trash and feces everywhere,” the officer wrote.”

I mean, really, holy fucking shitballs. Those are conditions that animals get rescued from, not sent to to be rescued. Really. The magnitude of the neglect is just mind-blowing. You can search for the document in it’s entirety here, by first and last name. It’s a full 161 pages of stomach-turning evidence.  But I’ll give you the highlights reel.




Most of the animals recovered were sick, or too scared/traumatized/poorly socialized to even be able to get a full, comprehensive exam. I can’t stress it enough, these animals were not being “rescued” by this slopbucket and her mudbath of a husband. They were taken from the frying pan, and put right into the dumpster fire. And, oh yeah, they had a toddler living in this mess, too.

Grade A Floridian parenting at it’s finest, you guys. The ammonia from the cat piss cleans wounds, right? Because…ammonia cleans windows…? I don’t know, I can’t get on that level of ratchet reasoning.

What a horrifying hellhole.

Of course, they dindu nuffin, and are panhandling for cash online. In the most predictable display of remorseless ratchetry possible, the obligatory social media victim card got pulled immediately, and her supporters came in in throes. Seriously, is it something in the water down there, or what?

I seriously cannot comprehend how anyone could possibly defend the mayor of Urinetown over here. It’s clear, in official black-and-white print, they lived in horrifying conditions, provided inadequate “care” for 50 fucking animals, in a tiny 800-square foot dump of a dollhouse. They subjected their own child to these conditions.

And they knew what they were doing was wrong. You can tell this by the way she attempted to lie about the number of animals residing in the home. Come on, now.

As of last week, the hoardapotamus has still been sitting behind her keyboard, sharing animals in need of homes, like she wasn’t just arrested on charges of animal cruelty for living in an 800 square foot litterbox torture-den. Her posts suggest that she’s looking to just uproot her operation and find a new spot to fill up with shit, piss and slowly dying pets.

The city of Jacksonville has already started the process to bar them from being responsible for animals’ lives ever again, but they failed once before back in February. So we won’t let them forget the conditions these defenseless creatures were made to suffer, or the expense incurred by city officials to rescue them. This hoarder sludgesmear and her skidstain husband should never be allowed to collect another dollar towards their house of horrors, or take in another living creature ever again.

8 Comment(s)
  • Will Crusher
    September 26, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    You know that cuntbrew votes Democrat without fail.

  • The Holy Fucker
    September 26, 2018 at 5:17 am

    Where the fuck did Finn go? Hey Finn, you still out there?:

  • JC
    September 25, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Bristol Turtlechick is the SHIIIIZZNNIITTTT!!!

  • A
    September 25, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    You are excusing this behavior.
    There is no excuse. It’s not a disease. I don’t care what’s wrong with your brain. Let’s stop making things like hoarding things and/or animals a “disease” and excusing this behavior. You give them a crutch to lean on when you excuse this. Don’t forget, they had a child too living in this shit. Throw the book at them. They clearly don’t deserve to take care of animals or another human being.

    • z
      September 25, 2018 at 6:51 pm

      She thinks everything is hunky-dorey. Anybody with any sense at all can see it’s not.
      Facing the music via the government doesn’t seem to register either.
      You can’t tell me there’s a full deck of cards in her head.
      Kind of hard to believe both have exactly the same delusions. As she seems to be the one
      telling the world that has her shit together I’m guessing he’s beat down.

      I’m taking this from the perspective when my father got dementia. My mom (in her 80s) took care of him up until the last 2 months of life. There were no animals involved, but this shit feels like that. After awhile my mom didn’t give a fuck as long as my dad didn’t hurt himself and after awhile what was painfully obvious from the outside looking in wasn’t that obvious on the inside because it beat you down so much.

      I feel sorry for the animals. I feel sorry for these 2. Take the animals away. Keep the animals away from them forever, but I think there’s mental illness here.

      Even a fucking drug addict knows they are a drug addict and why they are a drug addict. Here, she and maybe he think they have the world by balls and the world is wrong.

  • z
    September 25, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    It’s mental illness.
    Yes, animals are harmed.
    Yes, they should never be able to keep animals in the future.

    Watch the show Hoarders on TLC or Discovery sometime. It’s like trying to deal with someone with dementia. You get mad, you holler, scream and lose it and they think what they think. “You can’t do that!!!” “Yeah, ok.” And then they do whatever they were going to do anyways.

    My guess is she has the problem and he’s so broken from it he gave up. By giving up he doesn’t even see it anymore.

    I don’t hate the mentally ill.

    • Y
      September 25, 2018 at 3:51 pm

      I agree Z. Just about every person featured on TBS is mentally ill in one way or another.

      • Y
        September 25, 2018 at 4:09 pm


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