These are siblings James and Kelsie Morahan of Foxborough:
And this is their friend Mike Farrell, also of Foxborough:
Over the weekend they all decided to head to Cathay Pacific in Quincy, which usually leads to copious amounts of scorpion bowls and bad decisions. And although I like to let loose after sipping on Saigon juice, I can’t say I’ve ever done what they did that night, according to the Quincy Police reports:
And from other cops responding:
Just to review:
- Farrell is motorboating 50 year old blonde chick with dreadlocks who is loving every minute of it
- Cop comes over and asks him to stop motorboating
- Motorboat McGee is way too in the zone and has to be tapped on the shoulder and asked to cut the shit
- Menopause Mary has her gerber servers fully exposed and is asked to pull down her blouse
- Cop asks Motorboat McGee why he’s helping himself to a lactation lunch in public like that, Motorboat McGee tells him it’s because he’s waiting for his friends and believes this is a perfectly normal answer
- At this point James Morahan repeatedly yells “hey asshole” several times, before lunging at the cop and punching him several times for no reason
- Cop is in serious trouble, repeatedly being punched before backup arrives, and Morahan has to be pepper sprayed twice and then tased twice before finally submitting to arrest and being placed into a cop car
- While this is going on Motorboat McGee and Camel Toe Kelsie were interfering with the arrest before going outside to shout obscenities at law abiding customers, possibly for not being as ratchet as them
- Camel Toe Kelsie yelled “fuck you I ain’t going nowhere” when asked to stop interfering with the arrest of her brother
- Motorboat McGee attempted to interfere with Camel Toe Kelcie’s arrest by telling the police “fuck you, don’t touch her,” followed by “don’t fucking touch me,” followed by him trying unsuccessfully to climb a wall like Spiderman in order to resist arrest
When your Halloween costumer ends up becoming real life….
These aren’t your run of the mill ratchets either. They all seem to come from good homes in a wealthy community, proving that anyone, regardless of their upbringing, has the potential to make it onto Turtleboy. None of them have Google trophies, and they all appear to be college graduates with good jobs. At least they did until we found this arrest report.
Camel Toe Kelsie graduated from UNH where she played field hockey.
According to her LinkedIn she works as a pricing analyst for Martignetti Companies
Which is actually the perfect fit for her since they appear to be a wine distribution company. Just make sure she’s accompanied when she’s in warehouse!
Oh well, if that job doesn’t work out there’s always the Instagram model route. Just keep working on the duckface and topless Tuesday poses.
And if that fails just get knocked up by a professional athlete.
Her brother seems to have no social media presence at all, nor can I find where he works, leading me to believe that he is the loser of the group who they reluctantly keep around for old times sake.
Motorboat McGee is a ZooMass grad who works for Homesite Insurance as an accountant supervisor.
I could’ve given him a pass on the motorboating. If a horny blonde chick with dreads asks me to go to town on her mud flaps, and it’s 1:30 AM and I’ve been drinking roofy flavored mai tais all night, there’s a good chance I’m motorboating her. And I don’t even swim in the lady’s pond. It’s just not an opportunity you can realistically pass up.
But I can’t give him a pass for interfering with the arrest of his maniac friend or the harassment of police officers and other customers. All three of them earned their Turtleboy infamy.
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