It’s been like an hour since Western Mass Turtlegirl wrote this blog about two Westfield peace fuzz poonstachios stealing quarters out of a washing machine in a private West Springfield apartment complex. A local Westfield resident named Shannon Moore vowed that if the West Springfield police ever did this to her, there would be hell to pay….
Welp, life comes at ya fast….
This is the most legendary thing I’ve ever seen on Facebook. Just days before announcing that she would rain holy hell on the West Springfield Police if they ever shamed her publicly by posting her mugshot, they go and shame her publicly by posting one of the great mugshots of all time.
The only thing more glorious and wide open than the pole polisher in that mugshot, is her Facebook page. It is everything you dreamed it would be and more.
Let’s start with the fact that this diabetes debutante JUST got her license two months ago.
She beat Sponge Bob, so at least she’s got that going for her. And according to her the only thing harder than exercise was passing the license test.
In fairness, there’s a lot of tough questions. Like,
- Should I smash my car into someone else? Yes/No/Maybe
- Should I house down this Mad Dog 20/20 before or after I have to run this errand to West Springfield? For reelz/oh fo sho
- Upon arrival of EMT’s, should I be non-cooperative or let them do their job?
- If you’re “living your best life,” how would you smile for a mugshot?
Shockingly this is not fupa dupa’s first run in with the law, and she often thought about punching her public defender in the head when they read off her police report in the courtroom.
Then again, it’s not exactly surprising that she’d be in a “rollover.” After all, parts of her body roll over other parts of her body all the time.
Slay queen!!
With gerber servers like these:
It’s enough to throw off the balance in any vehicle. So she’s got a pretty good defense. Those things are like Pangea before they broke apart into several continents. Girlfriend out here slinging more milk than Cumberland Farms.
So yea, she’s got the whole ratchet package, and you gotta say she’s a shoo-in for next year’s ratchet madness tournament. We got the police mugshot, the dogface mirror selfies, 100 emojis, and dog filters. The only thing we’re missing is the $100 bill cell phone. Oh wait……
We got that too. She’s the complete ratchet package, and I know Uncle Turtleboy would be honored to have her on the Live show this weekend.
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45 Comment(s)
What I don’t understand is why this woman, and others like her can act so proud of themselves. Look at all the glamor shot selfies on her FB. The clothing, the sexy poses, the ‘come hither’ expressions, are the same as the ones you see posted by ‘perfect 10’ young, beautiful women.
No self respect? No sense of shame? Here’s hoping she hasn’t, and never will, produced crotchfruit.
In olden times, people “put on airs,” to aspire and appear better than they were. But that was too hard, when acting the fool and being glorified for it (MTV’s Teenage Moms) is so much easier, or where emulating Thug Life is what occurs before blaming white cops for being mean. This is Barack culture leaking into the best of White culture.
Welfare payments should be based on weight. She needs a few months off Big Macs, Popeyes and Cheetos.
We need fewer afropottami being sustained by taxpayers.
She should treat that ringworm on her tits.
That is the face she makes when she gets the welfare check.
Call me Ahab! (you’d get it if you knew what I was talking about). This Cabbage Patch Mastodon is a shoo-in for the ratchet madness next year. It’s unbeweavable!
The quote is “Call me Ishmael”. And that whale was white. 🙂
You do understand what I put in parentheses, yes? “Call Me Ahab” is a song by group called Mastodon and the white whale being implied is that image of her white filter. Subtlety even with instructions are even less subtle.
Fuck me. Shannon Moore has really let himself go since he quit wrestling.
Holy Jesus H. Fuck !
Could there possibly be any guy desperate or drunk enough to try fucking that?
Good God !
You’d have to tie a board across your ass to keep from falling in !
Could you imagine the pure hellish stench that must emanate from her crotch after a few sweaty hours of being trapped in her overstretched jeans ?
Gross
I’d def hit it. Gladly.
Keep it in the circus!
fucking that would be like shooting pool with a rope . . . I’m gonna have nightmares tonight
Thar she blows!
She reminds me of Raj and Dee’s mom from What’s Happening
Reminds me more of rerun.
As SOON as i seen this on wwlp a little while ago i was like this HAS to be on TBS already! lmaooo her mugshot is the most TB worthy I’ve seen in a long time.
“Rollover,” that’s great, South! Now, is Shannon Moo-er an orca or a beached whale? I’d compare that wide-open mouth to Jaws, but that was a Great White, and I certainly wouldn’t want to commit reverse cultural appropriation.
JJ and Y, thanks for the Maxwell references!
Girl You Dont Look fine Dont you NEVER back dat azz up.
Yuse a real big women dont back dat azz up
Now you see what I have to contend with?
PLEASE SEND HELP. OR AT LEAST SEND A MAN WITH A STONG STOMACH AND A PLUNGER.
(sorry for the all caps, but…)
hahaha, you just made me imagine what her turd cutter looks like (a big, burnt, leather cheerio), and I almost lost my lunch.
All I can picture is the pig in the geico commercial. The one hanging out of the car window with the pinwheel screaming
weeeeeeee, weeeee, weeeeee
Except this piggy didn’t go all the way home. She deffently did not pass go and went directly to lock up..
Actually, I think she went wee wee wee ’cause she didn’t fit on the can in the restroom at the all-you-can-eat buffet while refueling. Thar she blows!
Obviously, she’s getting her EBT bennies on time.
Pure Jigaboo. That’s all she is. Does she sell coffee with those rolls? She’s the exact stereotype you think of when you think ” Pig Bitch”
Banging her would be like banging the jumpy castle at a kid’s birthday party.
jumpy castle is cleaner
Oh my! Yikes!
Did you say steak?
It is a shame the accident wasn’t fatal for this welfare sponging pigasaurus.
In the name of the father, the son, and the hollly spirrrrrriiitttttttt. If god createth in his image then I must say. That’s one hugggeeee bitch. The fupa alone needs its own zip code. Looks like Randall’s mom except she be a dime compared to Randy’s momma.
There are definitely places on her body where she cannot reach with a washcloth.
The putrid stench emanating from her upper ass crack must make your eyes water.
Mmmm.
Only a black man would touch that thing. They are not boobs, they are FAT.
What a disgusting, fat, stupid Pig. Typical black woman.
A. Boobs are made of fat you stupid fuck… That comment only shows me the lack of time you have had actual encounters with any
B. Typical Black woman, you clearly have not met many black women then. You also assume that is her ethnic background.
Her and I would never be friends thats for sure however you guys in the comments here are some true ignorant fucks. So in true you fashion i’ll finish with this comment…. Typical men with their tiny pale wrinkly cocks thinking they are every womans dream! Overcompensating for something by driving Ford F250’s… You also may want to brush up on Their, There and They’re
“You also may want to brush up on Their, There and They’re”
Pot, meet kettle; it’s *she and I* and *woman’s*
Now, go make me a sandwich.
Shut Up Bitch. Her boobs are only big because she is so fucking fat. You are why some women get beaten.
I have met many black women and they pretty much all look like that. They are fat, stupid, and ugly. Finding a pretty, smart, skinny one is like finding a unicorn.
Stacy Dash is the unicorn:
Only because she’s got more white in her than I do!