All-Star Criminals

GEDickbag Models His Fupa, Sports Bra, And K-Mart Underpants During Arrest Where He Tries To Fight The Cops On Lincoln Street

GEDickbag Models His Fupa, Sports Bra, And K-Mart Underpants During Arrest Where He Tries To Fight The Cops On Lincoln Street


Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.



It was a burlesque show last week on Lincoln Street as an angry, loud, and opinionated man who may or may not be transitioning was arrested outside of the Honey Farms:

Oh look, it’s America’s Next Top Model.

And he sure didn’t like this cop, who he repeatedly offered to fight one on one:

Which is why he decided to wear his favorite ghetto sports bra. Because you never know when you’re gonna have to fight a cop so you need to be prepared.

After that he did some WWE style shit talking to the cameraman:

Then he looked down and realized, “I really need to start using that Planet Fitness membership”

I mean, just look at the glorious fupa this slopbucket is rocking:

Here’s a thought – if your man fupa prevents you from seeing your hog, perhaps it’s best if your K-Mart brand jeans are not pulled down below your ass cheeks. Just a thought.

For a tough guy he sure was whining a lot about the slight discomfort of handcuffs:

Which is weird because I’m pretty sure this guy is all too familiar with bring handcuffed.

He had two quotes that I loved. First came when the cops told him to sit:

“Sit down? On the wet floor?”

Oh yea, because you’re above that. Sure, you’re a grown man wearing a sports bra and modeling your underpants on Lincoln Street, but you’re definitely above getting wet. Definitely.

Then there was this:

“I respect people who respect me.”

Because who wouldn’t respect a grown man displaying his fupa on Lincoln Street while jumping up and down like a child who didn’t get an extra slice of pie.

The commentary from Worcester’s finest was spot on as usual. There was the usual “fuck the police” from the skags who have spent their very productive lives getting arrested by the cops:

And of course the “I was once arrested for no reason” patrol:

Oh right, definitely. Ashley Elizabeth was assaulted and had fake charges put on her. And it’s obviously true, because if you can’t trust a hoodrag magnet welfare queen who only takes pictures from behind, then who can you trust?

Oh, and I always trust unconfirmed anecdotes from grown women with litters of children who still use the dog filter.

So why did this cop assault you Ashley?

I hate when that happens. Anyone can relate to this obviously factual story. Because who hasn’t had their car stolen, called the cops, and then got their ass beat by the responding officer before finally having “fake charges” put on them? Totally relatable.

And Ashley is officially boycotting the popo:

Heard that hoodrats? You can pretty much do whatever you want to this chick and she won’t be calling the cops on you. LOL. Just kidding. She’ll call the cops the first second she needs them, just like the rest of these frauds. Although I think her friend in the video could probably use a visit from the fashion police more than anything. Just sayin.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

6 Comment(s)
  • June 12, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    I have to deal with this guy on a regular basis. (He shops in, or at least visits my store.) He’s actually dangerous AF. He seems to respect me for some reason and is friendly to me, but it is all very unsettling. That gut and terrible clothing aside, he is a crazy person, capable of some bad, bad things. Avoid at all costs.

  • E.Warren
    June 11, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    Typical Worcester gangsta, whining like a vagina.

    Someone get gangsta flabby gut a box of tampons.

  • They call me Ponch
    June 11, 2017 at 9:41 pm

    I can see the bum bumps through the jeans

  • Wabbitt
    June 11, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Hey Trashley – If you’re going to post ass shots, you need to have an ass.

  • Utdudt
    June 11, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    The expensive sneakers are such a nice touch. This dude’s like 30, how do you even end up like such a loser

  • John
    June 11, 2017 at 10:26 am

    Inbreeding, small gene pool or even exposure to radioactive material generations ago. Seems like society is being overrun by the mutants.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?