It’s been too long since we’ve had some good fuckery from the Brockton Hub on Turtleboy, but I woke up this morning and it was ratchet Christmas with this post.

Pro tip – if you’re gonna steal a car with your junkie friends make sure not to leave your EBT card behind with the crack pipe.

Some have questioned whether or not this is legit, since normally people go to the cops instead of the Brockton Hub. But in fairness the Hub has a much higher rate of catching criminals and way more snitches. If you wanna find a ratchet in Brockton you don’t contact the police, you contact the Hub.

With that said, there’s no proof she actually stole the car. In theory someone could’ve stolen her purse and left it in the car. The cops need time to investigate this stuff. I’ve had my car stolen by hoodboogers before. The cops saw some junior Mchoodrats driving it on Belmont Street a week later, put on the blue lights, they all scattered, and abandoned the car. They took our Goddamn baby seat, as if these are the kind of people who don’t let a two year old ride shotgun.

They never ended up finding out who stole our car even after dusting for prints on the wheel, and had this ginger not left her EBT card behind they’d likely have no leads on this case either. But was Krystal Lafferty involved in this heist? Let’s check out her Facebook to investigate.

Does this look like the face of a woman who wouldn’t give Diego the friendly neighborhood drug dealer a hummer in exchange for a gram of the new product?

If “I’m taking night classes at community college to become a CNA” had a face.

She has some arrests for warrants and shoplifting at Target.

But these are normal things that non-junkies get arrested for all the time, so it doesn’t mean she’s an addict. Plus, she won an award for “the right to feel really, really proud.”

Which totally doesn’t sound like something you’d give a junkie because she went two weeks without sucking dick for meth.

Her profile says she’s “made mistakes, but the past isn’t where I live anymore,” which totally doesn’t sound like something a junkie would say.

At least we know now where George Floyd got his fentanyl from.

She uses the “never give up” Facebook filter, which every active junkie who’s been clean for 5 days uses to virtue signal about it.

She got a ratchet fortune cookie written on her arm in cursive.

Pretty sure that’s some sort of reference to all crotch fruits she’s fired out of her baby cannon and directly at the local DCF office.

According to her Twitter profile in 2013 she was already the proud birth momma of two foster home veterans with a third on the way.

And she was engaged to this guy.

Of course to people like this “fiance” and “engaged” really means, “riding this guy’s spam javelin until I find a guy with a bigger tent.”

She’s been on food stamps for over 10 years, and has baby pictures going back for over a decade.

But it’s OK because welfare is supposed to uplift people to become more self-sufficient and totally does NOT incentivize guttermuppets like this to keep reproducing.

She’s frequently lectured others in the Hub about not hating on junkies because it’s a “disease” she can’t control.

So when she steals your car and goes to town on Diego’s hog in the backseat you’ll have to reserve judgement and shut your mouth. Talking shit about her is like blaming a cancer patient for getting chemotherapy. It’s a disease after all. Plus, if you drink coffee then you’re no better than she is.

I hate when Dunkin fiends steal my car and pawn my radio to get an large french vanilla, extra-extra.

She also uses God a lot in defense of her behavior, which totally isn’t typical junkie behavior.

“I can overcome anything.”

Except addiction to heroin. But it’s OK because “God left her on earth” to steal your car AND your tax dollars.

A few years back she also left this review about Brockton Auto Parts.

Speaking of cars, steal any cars lately?

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