Great News: No One Got Shot Today At Everett High School, And Angelo Carbone Is Suing Us For Millions For Talking About His Facebook Post


Great news everyone – no one got shot at Everett High School, or any other high schools in Massachusetts today. So parents like Angelo Carbone, who kept their crotch fruits home from school and helped spread the ridiculous hysteria that there would be a school shooting, based on nothing more than some kid writing words in the bathroom, all got played. As soon as you admit that you got this wrong we can move on.

But I’ve seen a ton of comments from turtle riders along the lines of, “better safe than sorry,” and “any mention of a shooting at school my kid will not be there, and “I would argue after everything that has happened in school with shootings and all that if you send your kid to school the day it’s being threatened you don’t care about your child’s safety. These threats could be serious. Keeping your child home for one day isn’t going to ruin their education and might just save their life.”

I have a strongly worded rant coming on this during tomorrow’s live show, but here’s the gist of it:

  1. Your kid isn’t in danger because another kid wrote words in the bathroom. The other kid’s goal was to get a rise out of you and it worked. Don’t get punked by 15 year olds.
  2. In the history of school shootings not once has the shooter ever told the entire school about it beforehand. It defeats the purpose of a school shooting.
  3. Your kid has a much, much, much better chance of dying on their way to school than they do getting shot at school. Yet if you didn’t allow your kid to ride in cars you’d rightfully be viewed as insane.
  4. You’re basically encouraging kids to do this more often, and I wish you were all my parents growing up. I’d seriously do this every Thursday. No one ever finds out it’s you, and you get to miss school whenever you want just by writing three words on a bathroom stall door.
  5. Most importantly, if you would keep your kids home from school over something like this, then this is your peer group:

Hey Angelo, if you wanna explain to us why we should take the blog down, or how you plan on suing us for millions of dollars because we discussed a Facebook post you made, feel free to call into the live show tomorrow night. I look forward to speaking with you then.

P.S. For a guy who seems so petrified of gun violence he’s the last guy I would ever expect to have a copy of Shooting Magazine in the background of his “homeless guy tries on an oversized suit” glamour shot.


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55 Comment(s)
  • John Bonham
    November 24, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    Go easy on this drunk, his mom died during childbirth. She choked on her own vomit…

  • I Guarantee It
    November 24, 2019 at 11:25 am

    The best part of the “mismatched plaid on a zoo tramp” picture is the Men’s Wearhouse tags still on the sleeve. It’s like he was still on the fence about whether or not to blow a whole $90. on a suit he’ll only wear to nana’s wake and alimony reduction hearings. This guy has “can I have your leftovers” and “I need $5 for gas” written all over him.

  • omia
    November 24, 2019 at 9:26 am

    My Subscription Addiction paid for this box. (Check out the review process post to learn more about how we review boxes).

    • Omia Sucks Dix for Subcriptions
      November 24, 2019 at 11:31 am

      Shut the fuck up, Omia. Why aren’t you eating albinos or running from Boka Haram gunmen like all the other Nigerian losers ? Now get off the UN- funded computer at the village spaying/neutering center and get back to peeling bananas with your feet.

  • Cheeseman
    November 23, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    Angelo the greasy fucking gineau

  • Crapon
    November 23, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    Drop a crap on his moms face.

  • TortugaNiño
    November 23, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    Cant stop seeing “junkie yertle the turtle” when i see him.

  • Ed2276
    November 23, 2019 at 6:57 pm

    Come on! Post the entire “Abi the desk girl who hates her job” interaction! I always get a big laugh out of them.

  • capone181
    Total Mayhem
    November 23, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Who dressed Angelo?

    Plaid tie with a plaid suit? Monumental failure.

  • Harry C
    November 23, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    I can see how articulate he is
    He must have gone to Everett high with all the filthy wetbacks himself

  • Russmo
    November 23, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    In his spare time he enjoys sucking off darkies

  • Metro West Guy
    November 23, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    It’s time for men to start shaving once again; the stubble face and paul bunyan beards have both been done to death. Enough, already…

  • Bobby D Raging Bull Idiot And Certified Piece Of Shit
    November 23, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    I like this guy he is a movie tough guy like me. His father probably a gay cSucker like my old man.
    I play tough guy Italianos on screen even though I am 75 percent hebrew. I hate Trump because he is a mans man and never entertsined or tried scking cock like me . Dont forget to check out my new movie tough guy persona on netflix or at limited Boston movie theaters.
    I am not vain the csmera just caught me on a good day and I look 30 on screen with no gut.
    Now yoos cant leave

  • Judge dread
    November 23, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    Shooting magazine heh that is priceless. When you just sit around reading shooting magazine masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go ‘wow it’s amazing how fucking crazy I really am’

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    November 23, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    Angelo sound like graduate of the “Institute of Overblown Emotionalism”.

    But with room temperature IQ.

  • ChipChipperson
    November 23, 2019 at 11:30 am

    Adults who flip off cameras are NOT to be messed with, they don’t give a FUCK!

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    November 23, 2019 at 10:49 am

    I just love viewing the flawed assumptions of another inert gas-bag like Angelo.

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Ho Li Phuk
      November 23, 2019 at 12:14 pm

      He like a neon no MSG sign, right Lee?

      • capone181
        Lee Ho
        November 23, 2019 at 12:26 pm

        Right again Ho Li Phuk, I call you soon, you like Sake?

        • murdochpatsymcreynolds
          Ho Li Phuk
          November 23, 2019 at 1:58 pm

          Sake, Hai!

  • Meow Mix
    November 23, 2019 at 9:44 am

    Bury this shithead in the TB graveyard. If you dig a little, you’ll find a ton of dirt on this asshole. Giant dirtbag

  • Hipster Doofus
    November 23, 2019 at 9:43 am

    Maybe Angelo is going for “ironic coll” with that oversize hobo suit? Like David Byrne’s “Big Suit” dance in the Talking Heads movie (Stop Making Sense). The movie title sure seems to fit Angelo’s whole worldview on this issue.

    He might be a hipster in disguise! ?LOL

  • Jenice
    November 23, 2019 at 9:13 am

    I hope you bring Bristol back where am my girl gone she like the only writer here i can understand I was tellin my sister Tenice about Bristol and how she say she writes in sentagraph form well i dont know what that am so Tenice be like you no so then Tenice tellin me about how her kidz be all rotten and so she start talkin and let me tell you she can talk she talk and talk and talk and talk so much she talk I think sometime she mostly talk so much cuz she like to here herself speak so cuz it make her think she smarter than she am but I swear she never gets to the point so last Friday my cuzin and her friend come over and they be like Jenice we will give you 20 and a blunt if you babysit R kidz cuz they want to go to the club but I be like no I got my own smoke n I want 50 cuz I no you be hoes goin out to dat club to hook up and last time you leave you kidz here until Tuesday cuz you hooked up at da club so then she like bitch you no it so my point is bein I really hope you bring back Bristol soon.

  • Dees nutz
    November 23, 2019 at 8:59 am

    Probably his kid wrote it. As finn says. Get fucked

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    November 23, 2019 at 8:44 am

    He is your typical low information, straight ticket, democrat voter. I hate him.

    • AngeLOW
      November 23, 2019 at 9:14 am

      Keep talking.
      I am gonna sue you for hurt feelings.
      The last guy that messed with me had to pay for my fancy suit and short tie that you see in the picture.

  • Dr. Fill
    November 23, 2019 at 8:33 am

    I 100% COMPLETELY support this guy and home he drives TB out of business.

    All of you bloodthirsty, torch-waving cheerleaders don’t realize that shit posts like this — targeting innocent people who didn’t hurt or scam anyone — just builds the case for people going after TB legally.

    This guy’s crime? BEING A CARING FATHER. That’s it! Nothing more.

    I am ashamed of my fellow turtle readers.

    • Bubble
      November 23, 2019 at 8:43 am

    • Dees nutz
      November 23, 2019 at 9:01 am

      Sooo which blog is about you again??

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      November 23, 2019 at 10:32 am

      Hey Dr Fill,

      Be a lamb and fuck yourself right off.


    • Eliah's final fart
      November 23, 2019 at 6:06 pm

      go fuck yourself you raging asshole
      there once was a moron named Angelo
      a test pilot for black anal dildoes
      he grunted and groaned
      while his boyfriend moaned
      All of Everett knows he’s a homo
      (thunderous applause)

  • Herb from WKRP
    November 23, 2019 at 8:29 am

    I want my suit back!

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      November 23, 2019 at 11:13 am

      Excellent! LOL

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        AndJerry Mathers as the Beaver
        November 23, 2019 at 9:46 pm

        Gee-wiz, I think that suit is neat-o.

  • Bella romanum
    November 23, 2019 at 8:17 am

    When you target junkies, thieves, scammers, people who park in handicap spaces without handicap plates and asshats in general…eh, sometimes it’s funny and sometimes useful – you covered genduso so well the MSM had to cover it….but now the target is a guy whose transgressions include using all caps, being gullible, poor haberdashery and being a dimwit?

    If that’s your new target package you’re going to wear yourself out…and why again?

    Uncork abi on someone else….Angelo’s probably doesnt deserve the shit.

    • Dr. Fill
      November 23, 2019 at 8:34 am

      Exactly. This is truly shameful. This guy seems to have a hard enough life. TB is a bully — and it is very poor taste to “bully down.”

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        November 23, 2019 at 10:36 am

        In case you missed it the first time:-

        Fuck off.

        • Dr. Fill
          November 23, 2019 at 11:58 am

          Lemme think…


          • dowen0895
            Dick Scratcher
            November 23, 2019 at 12:11 pm

            If you actually do think, then that will be for the very first time ever.

            You’re clearly defending a massive shithead.

            Now, off you fuck.

  • Cheddah
    November 23, 2019 at 8:10 am

    This guy is nothing but a a total big idiot. Where is the mother in all of this? She needs 100% custody of him…

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 23, 2019 at 7:43 am

    If this loser was my father I would shoot myself

  • Karma Bus
    Ratchetsaurous Rex
    November 23, 2019 at 7:42 am

    He makes a PUBLIC post which then becomes free reign for the PUBLIC to see and/or use for their own viewing pleasures… And he is gonna sue. Haha.

    This stupidity goes quite well with my coffee this morning. Carry on.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 23, 2019 at 7:34 am

    Some kid had a test or a report due that Friday and wasnt prepared so he wrote some stupid shit to weasel his way out of his responsibilities.

  • WeRFucked
    November 23, 2019 at 7:20 am

    I used to have that same suit. I donated it to one of those “used clothing” boxes at my church.

    • Spic Tormentor
      November 23, 2019 at 10:13 am

      Come on, Juan. We all know you only wear aèropostal. Spics don’t wear suits because they don’t need a suit to wear to their shitty landscaping jobs.

    • Real_Finn
      November 24, 2019 at 8:52 pm

      “I used to have that same suit.”

      Yeah, I thought you might have the same taste as this guy.

      “I donated it to one of those “used clothing” boxes at my church.”

      You mean, “I donated it to one of those “used clothing” boxes at my church, when I got too fat to fit in it.”.

      Get Fucked,

  • Klancy
    November 23, 2019 at 6:58 am

    I’m guessing he kept himself out of school everyday they had English class.

  • Schools aren't Safe
    November 23, 2019 at 6:49 am

    I would keep my kid home from school on the day the shooting was threatening to happen for sure.
    Then again I’d keep my kid home from school if she told me her creepy History teacher is suspended and being fired for molesting his students and he makes her feel uncomfortable. I guess I’m one of the over reactors you speak about.

  • Real_Finn
    November 23, 2019 at 6:37 am

    Please let Abi take the phone call during the pod-cast.

    “It’s gold Jerry I tell you”

  • Gramma Nazi
    November 23, 2019 at 12:54 am

    Twas painful – painful – I tell you to attempt reading his attempt at writing English. It was almost as if I could see the steam coming out his ears along with a dull, flickering light inside his head as dad was typing.

    What a moron.

  • I Don’t Think He Has A Case
    November 22, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    He’s going to sue you for putting his public post on the internet where he posted it publicly on the internet? That makes perfect sense

  • Unkle Gus
    November 22, 2019 at 11:35 pm

    Damnit! I wanted to see the entire exchange with Abi.

    Abi is probably one of the best personas I have read in years. Please feature more of her.

    • Jeff J
      We Need More Abi!!
      November 23, 2019 at 3:50 am

      AGREED!! No offense but Abi is definitely the best personality out of all involved with TB. We all would LOVE to see her exchanges when the ratchets try and contact the “owner” or “main office”.
      That being said, with all this talk of guns and shootings, I will now be retreating to my safe space.

  • Seed bag
    November 22, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    This guy’s the definition of a chode. A giant boil on the foreskin of life

  • Sam
    November 22, 2019 at 11:04 pm

    lol that picture with the gun magazine is priceless!

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