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Tag: Everett

Social Justice Warriors

Second Grade Everett Teacher Abandons Kids To Party With Husband And Friends In Virgin Islands After Accusing Parents Who Want Schools Reopened Of Being Selfish

Uncle Turtleboy / January 4, 2021

  This is Everett Second Grade teacher Stephanie Regan. Everett has been in remote learning since last year and has…

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All-Star Criminals

North Shore Penis Pinata Uses Crotch Fruits To Steal Items From Strangers She Meets On Facebook Yard Sale Pages Despite Not Having License Due To Hit And Run And Tons Of Evictions

Uncle Turtleboy / December 28, 2020

  This is Michelle Bedard from Everett, Salem, Peabody, and pretty much every town in the north shore with a…

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All-Star Criminals

Maggot Kills Innocent Married Couple Out For Walk In Lowell In Drag Racing Crash, Never Went To Jail Despite Several Gun, Drug, And Driving Charges

Uncle Turtleboy / May 22, 2020

  Tragic story out of Lowell: A 26-year-old Everett man is facing charges after allegedly racing another car in Lowell,…

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Nudniks

Great News: No One Got Shot Today At Everett High School, And Angelo Carbone Is Suing Us For Millions For Talking About His Facebook Post

Uncle Turtleboy / November 22, 2019

  Great news everyone – no one got shot at Everett High School, or any other high schools in Massachusetts…

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Podcasts

ALL CAPS Co-Parent Announces He’s Not Sending His Crotch Fruit To Everett High School Because Someone Shitposted About School Shooting On Bathroom Door

Uncle Turtleboy / November 22, 2019

  I discussed the topic of this blog on last night’s YouTube Live show and uploaded it to the podcast. Click…

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All-Star Criminals

No Justice: Charges Dismissed For Somerville’s MC NoShowerz Accused Of Beating 13 Week Puppy So Badly It Nearly Lost A Leg

Uncle Turtleboy / October 30, 2019

The courts have failed to bring yet another alleged animal abuser to justice, as charges have been dismissed against this…

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Nudniks

Juicy Jasiel Correia Was Blowing Cash On $50 Blackjack Hands At Encore Casino This Weekend And His Smashpiece Girlfriend Wasn’t Happy About Being Seen  

Uncle Turtleboy / June 29, 2019

  Encore Casino opened in Everett this week and it looks like Everett’s meatball mayor Sweatuccine Alfredo wasn’t the only…

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Nudniks

Everett Mayor Sweatuccine Alfredo Smears Two Businesses On Facebook For Towing Cars During Graduation Because He Was Too Dumb To Figure Out A Parking Plan

Uncle Turtleboy / June 16, 2019

  This is Carlo DeMaria. After giving up the dream of becoming an extra who pisses off Tony Soprano and…

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Turtleboy Investigates

This Slovakian Ali G Just So Happens To Look Exactly Like The Guy Who Stabbed 2 Random People In Everett, Killing 1 Of Them

Uncle Turtleboy / March 29, 2019

  Update: This is NOT the guy who stabbed the dude. He just has the misfortune of looking exactly like…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Everett Cabbage Snatch Skids Won’t Let Cops Do Wellness Check For Traumatized 4 Year Old, Cop Ain’t Having It, Hoodrat Blair Witch Cop Block Tryout Video Ensues

Uncle Turtleboy / November 7, 2018

Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.  Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns,…

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WTF

Gutless Malden High School Principal Chris Mastrangelo Cancels Football Game Against Everett Because Kids Might Get Boo-Boos Against Better Team, But Everett Never Forfeits Soccer Even Though They Can’t Beat Malden

Uncle Turtleboy / October 16, 2018

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary. Want to…

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Turtleboy Investigates

Hummus Hardo Accurate Collision Owner Adam Haddad Scams Customers And Insurance Companies, Threatened And Assaulted Insurance Appraisers, Doesn’t Pay Taxes, While Living In Shrewsbury Mansion

Uncle Turtleboy / October 11, 2018

Follow @LongLiveTBS on Twitter by clicking here. Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with…

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All-Star Criminals

Peabody Pube Rag Beats Girlfriend’s 10 Pound Dog To Death And Somehow Gets Released On $150 Bail

Uncle Turtleboy / September 4, 2018

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here. Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here. Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports…

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All-Star Criminals

Everett Oxygoblin Steals Donation Bin From Malden Burger King Parking Lot Intended To Support Local Schools, Forgets That It Won’t Fit In His Car, Drives Off With It Anyway

Uncle Turtleboy / June 26, 2018

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.  Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.  Follow and like Turtleboy Sports Returns and Clarence Woods…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Hoodrat Protesters Film Their Assault On Police And Laugh About Killing White People Like Nat Turner Because They Think They’re Woke AF But Are The Real Racists Here

Uncle Turtleboy / August 21, 2017

These are just some more of the protesters from Saturday. Proud? Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com…

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Hoodrat Heroes

This Revere Stripper From Everett Just Made The Most Ratchet, Racially Confused Video Of All Time Where She Brags About Selling Drugs, Whoopin Ass, And “Pussy Poppin”

Uncle Turtleboy / May 17, 2017

This Revere Stripper From Everett Just Made The Most Ratchet, Racially Confused Video Of All Time Where She Brags About…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Another Rodent Rumpus At Chuck E. Cheese In Everett, 10 Shots Allegedly Fired After Skirmish

Uncle Turtleboy / April 17, 2017

As Uncle Turtleboy so poignantly declared in his last Chuck E. Cheese write up in February, “I’d Rather Bring Turtleboy…

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Sports

High School Team Dominates Opposing Teams And Parents Run And Cry Because Generation Of Wusses

Uncle Turtleboy / October 8, 2016

  Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more…

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Bone Ride

Tour de Turtle Bone Ride: Cambridge, Somerville, Medford, Malden, Everett, Chelsea, Revere, Winthrop

Uncle Turtleboy / June 9, 2016

  Join the Revolution and Like Turtleboy Sports on Facebook, and/or follow us on Twitter. Like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page to…

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