All-Star Criminals

Grizzled Lesbian Couple Robs Nun At Knifepoint, Steals Her Rosary Beads

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WPRIPolice say a Massachusetts woman robbed a nun at knifepoint and got away with her rosary beads. Quincy police say a sister at the Daughters of Mary of Nazareth convent was in civilian clothing Sunday afternoon when a woman holding a knife approached her and tried to take a small satchel from her hand. Police say the nun opened the satchel to show she didn’t have any money, so the woman took the beads instead. Police say the nun noticed another woman nearby acting as a lookout. Vanessa Young is scheduled to be arraigned Monday on charges including assault with a dangerous weapon. Crystal Young is accused of being the lookout. She is charged with armed robbery and accessory after the fact.

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These chicks look like they just got shipped here in a crate from Siberia. These look like two character I expect to see in the Walking Dead….Season 30.

Honestly, good thing they stole that rosary – they’re gonna need it. Even Jesus would have a hard time forgiving this gruesome twosome. Talk about bad luck though. Of all the people these junkies could’ve picked to rob they had to pick the off duty nun in street clothes. What are the odds? She probably would’ve given them $20 and a bowl of soup if they asked nicely.

I’m just waiting for the usual crowd that comes around when a story like this happens. You know the ones – the people who blame scumturd behavior like this on a disease. As if two individuals had no choice but to rob a nun of her rosary beads. Happens every time. I guess this time is the exception though. You can rob an old woman, and you can rob a nun, but you cross a line when you rob an old nun of her rosary beads. Even some of their friends are jumping ship:

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But of course there are still plenty of people lining up to make excuses for them:

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Newsflash – plenty of people have been prescribed pain medication by doctors and managed not to get addicted to heroin. Enough with the bullshit. Stop making excuses for these people. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – if you rob old people to get your drug money then you are an asshole by nature. Lots of people are addicted to heroin. Most of them find ways to buy drugs that doesn’t involve robbing nuns of rosary beads.

Anyway, when we first saw their picture we assumed they were sister. Turns out they’re spicy lesbian lovers and recent newlyweds:


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I never understood the boy look for my lesbian friends. If you’re looking for someone who is also attracted to girls, then why would you try to look like a boy? How does that make any sense? I feel like one person is getting a lot more out of that relationship than the other. See what I mean?

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I don’t get what Crystal is gaining from this relationship.

Anyway, according to Vanessa (the one who looks like the guy who changed my oil last week), she is happy to be with Crystal because she a soldier yo!!!

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Newsflash little boy – during war soldiers kill other soldiers. They don’t rob nuns of rosary beads while your soldier stands watch around the corner. Guess the war on drugs is exempt from international law. And if that nun don’t like it……well, “to bad bitch”:


Anyway, glad to see that the nun got her rosary beads back. This is probably the best thing that could’ve ever happened to Vanessa and Crystal Young. You have to hit rock bottom before you get your shit together. And it doesn’t get much lower than armed robbery of a nun for her rosary beads.


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19 Comment(s)
  • Gas Pipe
    August 23, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    Priceless! “Mr Potato Head ears”!

    Two piles of burning dog shit on the take, on drugs and robbing nuns at knifepoint……

    They should be accidentally shipped to Cedar Junction…….

  • juror seven
    August 23, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    “Thank God I married a solider”. WTF, must be National Guard or Reservist. Don’t ask, don’t tell.

  • GFY
    August 23, 2016 at 11:11 am

    Turtleboy, I’m never reading this again. There should be a NSFW advisory on those pictures. One look at that full nipple, junkie orangutan titty side boob, and I fucking puked all over my cell phone and desk at work.

    • Rusty
      August 23, 2016 at 1:06 pm

      Who the fuck would down vote this? Someone out there likes pointy orangutan titties? Must be Bob! Or maybe fiesty’s tits look like that and you insulted her?

  • KimberlyS
    August 23, 2016 at 8:56 am

    I have sympathy for the families of addicts. They watch their loved ones completely change into someone they don’t recognize, and there’s nothing the family can do.

    Only the addict can make the choice to change their path.

    If they overdose, too bad. Narcan is just making it easier for them to leech off society. There have been cases where cops have been called for the same person ODing up to 3 times in 1 day.

    The other thing they do is shoot up in the car so that if they OD, they will have an accident & the cops/EMTs will be sure to come and save them. Some of these assholes have their innocent kids with them.

    Sympathy for families, but addicts who don’t want help can go to hell as far as I’m concerned.

  • Margaret Melican
    August 23, 2016 at 7:55 am

    These two live in Somerville. Will Joe Curtatone put up a banner at City Hall saying “NUN ROBBERS MATTER”?

  • JoeMomma
    August 23, 2016 at 7:50 am

    They look like they will enjoy MCI Framingham

  • Margaret Melican
    August 23, 2016 at 7:25 am

    There once were nun robbers on a train.
    Eternity in hell they’ll attain.
    Together in jail.
    Their love will prevail.
    In MCI Framingham they’ll remain!

  • Karma
    August 22, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    Hope they both get wacked hard with the karma stick. That’s one line you don’t cross…robbing nuns for Cripe’s sake!

  • UsualSuspect
    August 22, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    Holy shitbags Batman!

  • Fyi
    August 22, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    Another shooting on Grafton Hill. CSI WPD taped off area right next to Cosmo. Summer on the hill

  • There stupid
    August 22, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    The red head thing is what Fiesty looks like

    • Nichole Fredette Marsden
      August 22, 2016 at 10:06 pm

      What’s wrong with red heads? I like my men bald and fat with a side of SSI.

      • andrew
        August 23, 2016 at 3:40 am

        …but i do like doing scissors with fiesty nicole marsden… We are two separate people… she is nicole (no H) and her middle name is Andrea…

      • BobnMic
        August 23, 2016 at 4:08 am

        Please stop picking on this woman Fiesty. I get it that you hate my guts but leave this woman alone please. Do you have it in your heart to leave this gal alone? I have no idea who she is. And neither do you. She looks like a pretty cool person to me but you pick her out of nowhere on FaceBook and degrade her. And for what? Fucking nothing.

        Look – stick with me – the person you hate. Degrade me. Leave this woman alone. I feel so bad for this gal.

        You are a cruel fucking evil person Fiesty. Un – fucking- believable.

        • Nichole Fredette Marsden
          August 23, 2016 at 7:30 am

          Actually, my middle name is Andrea. If you Google my entire name and look around, you will see its Andrea. You should know that since we’re married. Greg, behave on here. If anyone from my job at the NICU reads this blog, my life will be ruined because of you. Learn to let things go. Everyone loses sometimes, be a man about it.

          Thanks for sticking up for me, though. I really wish you wouldn’t throw me under the bus. We may not be on good terms because you fucked a Coworker behind my back, but I am still the mother of your children, have some respect.

      • Turd Burglestein
        August 23, 2016 at 7:17 am

        Nothing is wrong with red heads as long as the carpet matches the drapes. You know what they say…red in the head, fire in the hole.

  • AJ
    August 22, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    You know you’ve hit rock bottom when all you get is rosary beads in an armed robbery.

    And you know you’re a complete shitbag when you actually keep them.

    Two keepers pictured above, one who more than like hates men, but wants to look one, and the other should be on the cover of Mad Magazine with the Mr. Potato Head ears.

    I’m waiting for the next article on these two dumpster fires, where we find out they they frequent the local DTA office

  • August 22, 2016 at 9:27 pm

    Yo kevin lynchiee
    Dex b yo hoes or day b yo momma
    Ain’t yo mamma cuz she be a fat lazy slob can of shiattttt
    Dat bitch be smellen like cow shittttt

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