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The commuter rail: it’s hardly ever on time, the trains spontaneously combust, and every now and again you have to deal with poonstachioed spunknuggets like this:
Oops! Looks like someone forgot to throw on his pull-ups today.
Look, I get it. The T and Keolis both suck in the timeliness and reliability departments. There’s signal issues, people getting mowed into track pizza every other day… but when you’re a 38-year-old dude, your prostate should still be pretty healthy. You shouldn’t need to be whipping your gravy spigot out on the 12 o’clock train to North Station to hose the floors down. This isn’t the friggin green line, have some decency. But, the fact that he dropped trow AND peeled his crusty manties off his ass to tinkle instead of just poppin’ the old turtlehead out of the zipper leads me to believe this wasn’t a case of forgetting to tap a kidney before he left the house.
Plus, look at this mug
That’s a shitter selfie if I’ve ever seen one.
Chinstrap McGee is clearly an exhibitionist. He wanted to shop the spam javelin around to the 30-40 unsuspecting poor souls trapped on that tin can with him and see who’d bite.
His face screams “Google Trophies” – and NSTB was not disappointed with the Google machine today:
Warrants for disorderly conduct, A&B on a cop, 4 counts of threatening to commit a crime, and resisting arrest. Looks like a church-going boy if I ever saw one.
Sweet velveteen shirt, ya schmuck.
Our hero! My favorite pastime is definitely riding suburban public transportation and threatening to cut bitches who I think are disrespecting the ladies. Keeps life spicy.
And if this isn’t the face and wardrobe of lifetime public transit ridership, I dunno what is:
I’d love to know his reasoning for digging the mutton machete out, though. I’m genuinely curious. Hopefully he’s out of the clink in time for live next Saturday, we’d love to have him on the live show to explain his side of things.