All-Star Criminals

Holyoke Trashmuppet Fails At Chicopee B&E, Gets Arrested On Roof, Comes Back To Police Station The Next Day And Steals Another Hobo’s Bike, Declares Innocence On Facebook

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This is a good one out of Chicopee….

Yea, if you’re gonna try to break into a place and you fail miserably, probably don’t hang out on the roof afterwards ripping a butt. Just a thought. I’m new to the B&E game so I’m not sure if this is a cultural thing, but to me it just seems like common sense.

But wait, it gets better…..

Stealing a bike from the police station because your bike was impounded for evidence and the desk guy was at a lunch. That’s a new one. But let’s be honest, does this look like someone who gives a shit about adding a stolen bike charge to his Google trophy collection?

Nope. Just throw it on the pile.

Here’s the best part – he posted about it on Facebook….

So let me get this straight. You weren’t actually breaking and entering? You just happened to be ripping butts on top of a building right near a bunch of milk crates that were propped up next to a broken screen window. I’m sold. Plus, he can buy his own pizza. A burglar would almost certainly be trying to break in to make their own pizza rather than steal the cash register.

Unfortunately even his friends weren’t buying it….

Another strong point. Why are the police responding to B&E calls at 2 AM? Shouldn’t they be making lip sync videos or something?

Shockingly he was happy with the judge….

You know something’s wrong with your judicial system when the people who are most pleased with it are the people who by law are not allowed to bend the brims of their hats.

Evidently he was not a fan of the arresting officer either….

And of course, fuck 12…

Should’ve used that white privilege card dude. Never leave home without it.

4 Comment(s)
  • marilu
    September 26, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    Pretty sure he’s been in the FB arrest posts many many times & this wont be the last

  • Gingervitis
    July 29, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    His GF is a ginger, no surprise.

  • Snatch Inspector
    July 28, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    Fuck this pos, who’s the gumby looking chick?

  • bayview
    July 27, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    He’s 29? Looks 49.
    Get off the drugs.

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