Over the weekend a small business in Falmouth got robbed blind and the person they’re looking for probably isn’t what you imagined they would look like.
Old people are out of control. First they want us to shut the country down to protect them from commie cold, now they’re out during a pandemic robbing stores blind that have been decimated in order to protect old people. This is just some straight up Uncle Leo shit – stealing like it’s going out of style because you know you can blame it on your age.
Anyway, she sure looks a lot like this washed up Cape Cod sea hog:
Mary Gelsthorpe, AKA Granny McStickyfingers, was first featured on TB in early 2018 when she got caught stealing cash out of a tip jar at a restaurant in Bourne.
Then last year she made another appearance after caught stealing clothes from a Lesbian owned non-profit consignment shop in Bourne who she previously sexually harassed.
People are now telling me that it’s not Granny McStickyfingers back again, but the hair part and color appears to be similar.
And if it’s not her, then how many old farts are there on the Cape that go around robbing small businesses of clothing and stealing tip money from teenagers? Has she built some sort of Golden Girls criminal enterprise she’s recruited and trained? I’m still not convinced she didn’t have a hand in this. Either way, if live in that area and see her around anywhere then make sure your wallet’s still in your pocket, because that bitch will swipe it without you even knowing it.
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