Smiles And Sunshine

It’s Here: Turtleboy Sports Naughty List Christmas Special, Brought To You By The Gun Parlor

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Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.



Last year we wanted to put together a book that chronicled the year in Turtleboy. Since we publish over 1,000 blogs per year we have come across soooo many dingleberries, dooshnozzles, nudniks, buttnuts, and poopsmoochers, that you sometimes forget about some of the more colorful slug rakes. That’s why we like to assemble this end of the year naughty list so we can put them all together and rank their naughtiness. It was a big hit last year with only 60 of Turtleboy’s finest, but this year the dooshnozzles have been extra naughty. There have been so many naughty boys and girls in the world of Turtleboy Sports this year that it was hard to cut down the list. We could’ve put hundreds of names on this list, but instead we narrowed it down to a special 86 for the 2015 Turtleboy Sports Naughty List Christmas Special, brought to you buy the Gun Parlor, Worcester MA.

As usual we just want to thank all the Turtle Riders out there for supporting the TBS Revolution. Last year at this time we had 4,000 followers on Facebook. Now we have 20,000 and counting. We are addicted to the truth and communicating it to the people, but none of it would be possible without the support of Turtleboy Nation.

Make no doubt about it – this IS a Revolution. It’s a revolution in the way people consume the news. People have been denied the truth for too long and now they’re getting it as they read Turtleboy on the train ride into work, while they’re in a terribly boring meeting, and especially while they’re on the throne. As newspapers like the Telegram continue to cut staff and decrease their coverage, we grow in size and increase the news we uncover.

The books are now on sale, and the Turtleboy elves will start delivering them this week. They are $10 each and 3 for $25. Quite frankly you’d be insane not to get these for a loved one. Turtleboy pities the fool who doesn’t wake up on Christmas morning with the Naughty List in their stocking.

A lot of turtle riders are new to the Revolution. If you started reading Turtleboy in September or October, you missed SO MANY big stories from earlier in the year. Because what you’ve seen recently is what we do 24/7/365. This book is the PERFECT way for you to play catch up on Turtleboy Sports.

Note – this picture is NOT what the finished book looks like – it’s just a template for the cover. 


To purchase a book it’s really simple. Just send the money via PayPal to Give us an address to ship them to and they will be under your tree in no time. The Turtleboy elves deliver free of charge to the following towns: Worcester, Auburn, Oxford, Leicester, Spencer, Charlton, Paxton, Rutland, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, West Boylston, Boylston, Shrewsbury, Northboro, Grafton, Millbury, Sutton, Northbridge, Webster, Westboro. For any other location please just add on $3 for shipping and handling.

If you don’t have PayPal, sign up for it because it takes two seconds. If you don’t feel like making your life and everyone else’s easier, then feel free to email us at or message us on Facebook and we’ll make other arrangements.

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Here is this year’s naughty list.

86. Ed Augustus – Worcester City Manager

85. Wedding proposer at wedding

84. Jonny Gomes

83. Pools by Andrews

82. Baltimore riot boy

81. Kanye West

80. Ann Marie Shea – WSU professor noise enforcer

79. Albert Haynesworth and the Santa Maria’s

78. Michael Bergin – Masshole “Moby Fucking Dick” Malden

77. Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao

76. Deb Powers – Mother of the year

75. Dicky Rushton – Overweight Worcester City Councilor

74. Britt McHenry – ESPN mean girl

73. Jared Fogle

72. Lenny Zalauskas – Worcester Teacher’s Union corrupt president

71. Springfield hippies/protesters

70. Saida Grundy – racist BU Professor

69. Keely Mullen – Free college genius

68. Kristi Rucci – West Boylston Mom

67. Joe Curtatone – Somerville Mayor

66. Husniyah Anderson – Woman who got beat up by bus driver

65. Derek Thomas – Worcester’s most infamous drunk

64. Jonathan Butler – Missouri hunger striker

63. Joe Petty – useless suit Mayor of Worcester

62. Doherty High school grab ass boy

61. Main South Tedeschi’s Police Video

60. Ted Wells – Roger Goodell lawyer for hire

59. Joyce McNickles – the angry woman who married Old Balls

58. Kim Malpass – Foster mother from hell

57. Sabrina Dudish (girl who boinked Julian Edelman)

56. Tobie Stevens – girl who shakes her own coffee

55. Jackie Coakley and Rolling Stone

54. Vida Ofori Causey – Woman who stole $3.4 million in food stamps

53. Samantha Allen – Telegram “reporter,” Turtleboy plagiarizer

52. Josh Fenton – GoLocalWorcester “I own the news” owner

51. Jordan Berg Powers – man boobs turtle hating hippie

50. Peter Elenbaas – Lincoln-Sudbury Athletic Director

49. Rachel Dolezal – Michael Jackson of black lives matter

48. Shayanna Jenkins – Aaron Hernandez baby momma

47. Nathan Pickens – dumb shit Mosaic product

46. Tara Carson – Mom from Marcy’s Diner

45. Carenza Jackson – Vernon Hill Elementary Principal

44. Missouri Professor Melissa Click

43. George Carpenter – ex-husband of Fenway Park bat accident

42. Murdock Middle School bullies

41. Cecil the Lion

40. Felger and Mazz – radio agitators

39. WANDA – Asian chick slave trader

38. Jen Roy – Turtleboy late night dirty talk

37. Haley Gordon – Northampton woman who makes fun of special needs

36. Kalen Rahim – would be Trump assassin

35. Confederate flag people

34. Josh Duggar

33. Tracy Crowe and Kevin Hayes – Spencer-East Brookfield School District empty suits

32. White dress people

31. Get Down Productions, Matt Money and the other guy – Liven Goooooo-ooooo-ooooo-oooooddd

30. Theresa Pickens – Road race cheater

29. Old Balls – delusional geriatric Telegram blogger

28. Indiana Walmart Devil Child

27. Sharlene Simon – Canadian woman suing family of the kid she killed

26. Bruce Jenner

25. Bills Mafia

24. Courtney Nicholopolous – Auburn gang bang Madame

23. Ryan Madelle and Jillian Keans – Spencer’s Bonnie and Clyde

22. Melinda Boone

21. Jase Dillan – Newbury Street psychopath

20. Luke Gatti – UConn bacon jalapeno mac and cheese boy

19. Sarai Rivera – fake pastor/city councilor/psychopath

18. Greg Hardy

17. Peter Rondon – Trump terrorist

16. Mosaic Cultural Complex

15. Brockton Fair pregnant woman

14. Bob Kravitz – made up Deflategate

13. Roxbury protesters

12. Jessica Conway – Ava Conway’s birth mother

11. Lisa Dyer – North High Principal

10. Tracy Novick – least popular person in Worcester’s history

9. Noah McKenna and the I-93 Protesters

8. Clock Boy Ahmed Mohammad

7. Clive McFarlane – one trick pony columnist

6. Baby Gangsta – Braintree Celtics stabber

5. Roger Goodell

4. Hampton Beach

3. Joe Amoroso – Bella Bond sperm donor

2. College protesters

1. Kelley Square 4 – RBG, Kreepy Kevin Ksen, Boom-Boom Connor, Orange Julius Jones


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages. 



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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.


25 Comment(s)
  • Rena
    December 16, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Did you really mean to list Cecil the Lion, or was it supposed to be the idiot who shot him????

  • Turtle
    December 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm


  • george
    December 5, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    Cmon bills mafia is some funny shit, but what did Cecil the lion do besides getting killed by a dentist? Melissa click should be #1, she’s basically everything that is wrong with this country.

  • juror seven
    December 2, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    How is that the owners of the lot on Park Ave aren’t on the list? You railed big time on them.

  • Danielle
    December 2, 2015 at 7:18 am

    I know their were way too many shitheads this year but I think this list could of been MUCH BETTER!! I still agree with 95% of everything you say!!

  • JayC
    December 1, 2015 at 8:01 pm

    Joe Assmoroso might have overtaken the protesters for #2 spot at this late hour. A shameless show at his “daughters” funeral followed by a shoplifting arrest and having needles on him.

  • Titi ho
    December 1, 2015 at 10:36 am

    What about Chacha Connor….that is one naughty hippie

  • Spankster
    December 1, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Did you forget the referee from the Broncos game or is that just a gimme??

    December 1, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Ms. T & G reporter should be #1 for plagiarism. And Petty, old balls, Wanda and the gang are not in the top 20? And Rachel Bond should have secured a spot at #2.

      December 1, 2015 at 8:00 am


  • Wwy
    December 1, 2015 at 1:29 am

    No bill Cosby,oh tb said he was Catholic,never mind. He loves that 12 year old boy Ahmed though. Are Catholics still considered Christians they seem more Jewish lately.

    • Q-Ball
      December 1, 2015 at 12:07 pm

      ^^^Proof that Charles Manson had a love child with Barbara Streisand^^^

  • Lawyer
    November 30, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    You do know this is slander, correct? And that not only you but your advertisers can be sued?

    • December 1, 2015 at 12:44 am

      I smell another Internet lawsuit!!!

      • Wabbitt
        December 1, 2015 at 1:24 am

        Haven’t had one of those in awhile.

      December 1, 2015 at 8:03 am

      Its not slander, it would be libel since it is written and it would have to be based on untrue statements. I dont think matter of opinions based on facts are untrue, hence why all the magazine garbage and Perez Hilton you might see gets away with murder

    • Jake from StateFarm
      December 1, 2015 at 8:09 am

      ooooohhhhhh …. and advertisers can be sued too, huh? LOL But you have to know what your talking about, cause your “post name” is Lawyer …… LOL

      so goofy

      • Football player
        December 10, 2015 at 7:53 pm

        Ask a lawyer. Yes the advertisers can be sued goof.

    • Rob
      December 5, 2015 at 3:05 pm

      You don’t even know the definition of slander, you moron. Just because it’s not nice doesn’t make it slander. Dumb ass.

    • 3dogmary
      December 8, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      I think I just heard an ambulance you should be chasing

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