Smiles And Sunshine

Jr. Smokeshow Turtle Rider Put On A Clinic On How To Defend The Turtleboy Wall From Butthurts

Jr. Smokeshow Turtle Rider Put On A Clinic On How To Defend The Turtleboy Wall From Butthurts

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You’ve probably seen butthurts on your Facebook roster whining about Turtleboy before, but you may have been hesitant to jump in because it can be hostile territory. So if you’re looking for a lesson on an effective way to defend the Turtleboy Wall, watch and observe how this chick Samantha does it:

Boom. Roasted.

This chick is amazing. She literally went right into the lion’s den and burned the whole thing to the ground using nothing but facts and logic. That’s how you do it folks. When you’re armed with the truth, you will always win. We always win. We are Turtleboy.

Not coincidentally Samantha Kane is also a junior smokeshow. Proving once again that turtle riders are all smart, bad ass, fearless, and most importantly, attractive. Always attractive.

“It’s not gonna happen to me, but if it does I deserve it.”

Quote of the year right there folks. The people who appear in our blogs are not victims. They’re chiselers who have earned their way onto the blog by doing something they’re not supposed to be doing. If you’re mad at us for exposing them then you’re part of the problem. They behave like this because they know enablers like these other morons will allow them to get away with it. They’ll whine about how mean Turtleboy is and how we don’t have compassion and blah, blah, blah. It’s all just meaningless bullshit. They’re mad that we’re winning and they can’t stop us. Facebook suspensions be damned.

And quite frankly, the mere fact that Turtleboy exists is already proven to be an effective motivator for people to act civilized:

Amen Jeff Moberg. Amen. Be like Samantha and Jeff. Don’t be like the slugrakes who appear on our blogs.



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15 Comment(s)
  • Truth
    May 30, 2017 at 6:09 am

    Gone are the days of accountability and personal responsibility. You keep doing what you do TurtleBoy, keep letting people know that you reap what you sow.

  • JLEW
    May 29, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Just when you think people can not get anymore stupid……. so people are getting butt hurt over someone putting a spotlight on jackasses. This snow flake generation is a joke. If they aren’t posting themselves screwing the welfare system, then they are crying because they are offended by everything. Go back to sucking your mom’s tit! The people who are in these articles are so friggin proud when they are breaking the law or being a sad excuse as a human. Yet, when the douches spot gets blown up and people are writing true messages on why that person sucks, everyone cries and bitches. So it’s ok for people to beat their kids, to screw over the homeless and steal from the elderly. These are the people who should be put on a stage in downtown shithole Worcester and have the crowds throw rocks at them. No need for these money leeching, self centered assholes. Period! Don’t like it, there’s the door. No one is making you stay here. America is supposed to be the land of the free and brave. Hard working people with morals. Lastly, for the people crying over these articles, I bet you wouldn’t leave your kid for 5 mins with any of these human wastes. End rant!

  • SJWHater101
    May 29, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    Samantha Kane is going places, that’s for damn sure!

  • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
    May 29, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    This is great.

  • webstasfinest
    May 29, 2017 at 9:23 pm


  • BobnMic
    May 29, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    Rock on Samantha! You do in fact speak for me and I bet a whole lot more!

  • maxs
    May 29, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    turtle boy your doing us a favor its takes 2 of these idiots out of commission for a while – the people your reporting on cant read so one of their friends has to read the blog to them – if any one in here thinks there is something wrong with turtle boy reporting the truth then you have the same problem as the scum he is reporting about

  • whatevuh
    May 29, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    There’s one easy way for those people to stop being so butthurt . . . stop fucking reading it ! But they are too retarded to figure that out themselves . . .

  • mystressovmayhem
    May 29, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    These butt hurt bitches can kiss my scrawny white ass! Turtleboy does nothing the average media outlet does, REPORT THE NEWS!
    Yea sure they add a little here and there, a few flourishes. Yet so does news outlets like MSNBC. How did that Trump tax bombshell work for ya Racheal Madcow?
    Samantha did a fabulous job and personally, I think deserves a Turtleboy T-shirt! Turtleboy you game?

  • Lynda Lapine
    Lynda Goodwin Lapine
    May 29, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    I apologize to no one for reading and liking TurtleBoy sports. I have the right to read, and agree or not, with any blog I choose and to express my opinion. Those who seek to shut it down know nothing about freedom, let alone the First Amendment. Fuck ’em.

    • For Real
      May 30, 2017 at 4:57 am

      It is you doing this to our blog Lynda you fucking coward!

      • True Reality Speaks
        True Reality Speaks
        May 30, 2017 at 7:20 pm

        Shaddup, twerp.

      • Lynda Lapine
        Lynda Goodwin Lapine
        May 31, 2017 at 2:24 am

        Lynda who? You can’t possibly be referring to me, can you?

  • May 29, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    *Searches Facebook for Samantha Kane*

    Well, well, well… hello there Sammy….

    Nothing better than a pretty woman who is also smart and savage.

    • itsjustme
      May 29, 2017 at 3:12 pm

      And I bet not a million police logs about her.

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