All-Star Criminals

Karate Kid Who Tried Use Handicapped Sign To Break Into Worcester Mosque Was Trying To Get Trump’s Attention So He’d Sign Off On A Business Loan For Him And His Facebook Page Is Insane

Karate Kid Who Tried Use Handicapped Sign To Break Into Worcester Mosque Was Trying To Get Trump’s Attention So He’d Sign Off On A Business Loan For Him And His Facebook Page Is Insane

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Criminal fail:

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You gotta watch the video of the bald karate kid. It could be on America’s Funniest Home Videos:

Man, he really declared Jihad on those doors. No pun intended.

Bro, do you even karate? The guy probably kicks each door 10 or 11 times like he actually knows what he’s doing.

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After that failed he did the only sensible thing a man in his position could do – tear off a handicapped sign and use it as a lever to try to open the door:

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After that fails he just kind of stands there and thinks about how he’s gonna get into this place:




And the decision he reaches is, “better go back to kicking the door”:

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So even if he did break the door, what was the plan once he got in there? Are Islamic Centers known for having large cash reserves? Was he gonna light the place on fire? Because it doesn’t look like he came prepared with anything. Just a lone man with a cutoff t-shirt and a dream.

Anyway, when I saw this video the first thing I was thinking was, “please don’t be a Trump supporter.” Not that it at all changes or affects the way anyone will view Trump supporters. People who hate him will blame him for this, and people who support Trump will point out that this guy is just a nutjob. But I just hate giving snowflakes ammo to whine about Islamophobia in “Trump’s America.”

Well, a man claiming to be a former classmate of his at Algonquin Regional High School sent us a link to this Facebook page, alleging that it belongs to the karate kid. The page has no profile pictures and was just created today. But it checks out with the Worcester Police press release confirming that Shrewsbury Police have arrested Andrew Burke for the crime. And Andrew Burke’s Facebook page is everything you dreamed it would be and more…

Hey Andrew, what do you think about the prophet Muhammad?

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OK then. Tough crowd.

So….why’d you do it?

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Oh good. He thinks he’s a soldier for President Trump. And his weapon of choice on the battle field is a handicapped sign. This should go over well.

Then he started sharing the video of himself that the mosque put out there so people could identify him:

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Can’t make this shit up. But why would he share a video that shows him committing a crime when cops are trying to find out who he is?

Well, he apparently wants this video to go viral because he needs a business loan and hopes that once Trump sees it, he will stop tweeting about SNL and approve this man’s Goddamn business loan:

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For his non-existent business that will be paid for with his Trump-approved business loan, he is also looking to hire a “marketing guru”:

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Additionally, he wants you to call the cops if you know him. And in case you couldn’t tell already, a woman claiming to be his mother says that he is not mentally well:

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So yea, this will ultimately be blamed on Islamophobia, but in reality it’s just a crazy guy who thinks kicking a door at the Islamic Center at 3:45 AM will get Trump’s attention and ultimately lead to that business loan he can’t seem to get approved. Just another day in Worcester.



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10 Comment(s)
  • Nopatienceforstupidity
    May 12, 2017 at 11:28 pm

    Yeah he’s not a good guy he’s a huge piece of fucking shit and I wish the worse on him..

  • John Barker
    April 13, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    Good thing he didn’t have a M.O.A.B.

  • Derka Derka
    April 13, 2017 at 1:15 pm

    This enrages me! The Prophet would not smile upon such behaviors!

  • Cory Rider
    April 13, 2017 at 10:28 am

    I know Andrew personally and he is very schizophrenic, but a good guy otherwise. What we’re you thinking Andrew? This article is hilarious. Hope he gets the help he needs.

    • Mark D
      April 13, 2017 at 11:06 am

      yeah he’s definitely a good guy

    • Mike
      April 16, 2017 at 5:35 am

      The guy is a tool shed. I wouldn’t even admit it if I knew him.

  • LOL
    April 13, 2017 at 12:34 am

    Look we’ve all been there. Wide awake at 4:40am on an amphetamine high, what else is there to do, besides create a fake company, look for a marketing guru, then walk on down to the neighborhood mosque, and attack the front door. Because how else can you get the President to bankroll your imaginary company. Seems legit, lol. Let me guess, he’s another person we have to support. He’s clearly on SSI for his “disability.” I don’t know why I’m up so late. I need to get some sleep, so I can go to work and support all these amazing people.

    • Jesse
      April 13, 2017 at 9:34 am

      This guy also started trouble at the West Boylston Planet Fitness Tuesday morning. Around 5:00 am this guy showed up acting weird and starting shit with one the guys working out. The guy just wanted to work out and this crazy dude just wanted to fight. The two guys working threw him out but he just kept coming back. He eventually attacked a different guy walking out to his car. The guy went back into they gym to get away from him and they called the cops, but he took off in his car before the cops came. So he must also be anti-fitness.

  • True Reality Speaks
    True Reality Speaks
    April 12, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    With guys like this, the next thing you know all these mentally stable liberals will be faking violent assaults and threats on Muslims or other protected “victim” groups – all in Trump’s name. And the media will put all this fake news on blast.

    Ohh, wait …

    • Rightwinger
      April 13, 2017 at 12:59 am

      With guys like you spouting nonsense day after day, The next thing you know mentally stable right wingers will begin to commit acts of domestic terrorism! Oh wait…….

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