All-Star Criminals

Kyle Kennedy Future Taunton Teen Brides Shoot Woman At Liquor Store, Go Home, Post On Facebook About Relationship Goals While Woman Is In Critical Condition

Kyle Kennedy Future Taunton Teen Brides Shoot Woman At Liquor Store, Go Home, Post On Facebook About Relationship Goals While Woman Is In Critical Condition

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Taunton PD Facebook PageAt 08:35 p.m. this evening the Taunton Police Department received a 911 call via the Massachusetts State Police from a female clerk from Eagan’s Package Store located at 48 Cohannet Street, Taunton requesting help. Eagan’s Package Store is located just off the Taunton Green in the downtown. Taunton Police cruisers were on the scene within two minutes. When they arrived they observed a female clerk alone in the store.  She had received a shotgun wound during an attempted armed robbery.

Two male parties entered the store. The first male party is described as a light skin black male approximately six feet tall. When he entered the store he had in his right hand a shotgun. He was wearing a mask to cover his identity and his head was covered with a hood. He approached the female clerk demanding money. Approximately 20 feet behind the first male party was the second suspect described as a white male approximately six feet tall. He was wearing plaid pants with a blue sweatshirt hoodie. His face was concealed.

As the light skin black male approached the counter he used the shotgun to poke at the female clerk to open the cash drawer. The female clerk engaged in an altercation with the suspect. The female clerk grabbed the barrel of the shotgun. It was at that time that the suspect discharged the shotgun once, striking her in her left side. She was transferred to an out of town hospital where she is reported as stable but serious.


So we know that Billy Morris has been arrested and charged with this shooting, and we’re 99.9% sure of the 17 year old gunman’s name. It would be irresponsible of us to print his name if we weren’t 100% though. But let me tell ya, he’s a real dandy boy. And they’re gonna LOVE him in the big boy’s prison.

Anyway, this is Billy Morris:

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As you can see, he fancies himself a badass.

Meanwhile, this Voke-stached jerry curl was crying during his perp walk:

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But don’t be fooled – he’s a bad ass, and he talks about shooting people all the time:

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Yea dude, you shot a defenseless woman who was working at a liquor store. You must have a huge schmenzer.

The most vile part about this worthless fecalcrab is the fact that they shot this woman at 8:35, and he posted this on his Facebook at 2 AM this today:

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This mother fucker was involved in a shooting and possibly murder of a woman for all he knows, and he comes home and posts about relationship goals. Bitch, let me show you what your future relationship goals are about to look like:


That’s it right there. That’s your soulmate for the next 20 years. Just promise him a $50,000 watch and he’ll let you be the rye bread.

Meanwhile, he was just whining the other day about how much it hurts his feels when he has to pour one out for the homies:

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For someone who so cavalierly threatens the life of another, he sure does whine a lot about people he knows getting shot:

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And you’ll never guess who Billy Morris’ favorite NBA team is……


Shocking that this slugpump would be such a fan of the Chicago Bulls that he wouldn’t bend the brim or remove the LIDS sticker that came long with it. And he apparently likes to wear it while he’s out shopping for women’s clothing. At least his skinny jeans are in the right position for when Kyle “Pure” Kennedy wants to play hide the white chocolate in Shirley.

And just to complete the junior hoodrat trifecta, Billy Morris also rocks the Bulls flat brimmed while posing with bottles of Henny, and a loose pile of drug money on his chest:


As well as the classic shirtless bathroom selfie:


The only thing we’re missing is the dog filter. Oh wait, we got that too:


He is the complete shithead package. As is his crew:

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Meanwhile, I’m sure his girlfriend is gonna be loyal to him while he’s giving Kyle Kennedy a spooning to remember:


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The dog filter AND the Chicago Bulls gear. That’s gotta be worth at least 100 ratchet points.

Here’s his Ma Dukes, who has obviously done a fantastic job raising her child:

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Look what Mom posted on the day her baby shot and tried to kill this innocent woman

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You know you’re a degenerate when your family acts like graduating from high school was some sort of unattainable bar that you cleared after your fourth and final attempt at passing the MCAS. Especially when your version of the English language is almost entirely comprised of emojis:

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And you can tell you’re a Mom who has her priorities straight when your kid is off holding up liquor stores with a sawed off shotgun, and you’re sharing booty shots on the Facebook machine?


Yea, if you’ve ever felt the urge to ask someone to take a glamour shot of you with your ass out like it’s a chudstuffer magnet, you might wanna reevaluate your priorities. Just sayin.

She also likes to do the Titanic pose:


And take perfectly normal selfies like this with her adult son:


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I know when I go over Grandma Turtleboy’s house she often asks me to take off my shirt so her and I can pose for a bathroom selfie together. It’s cool though, cuz he loves you Mom!!


Better hope she loves you enough to fill up that canteen fund Billy!!

Anyway, the only accurate thing Billy Morris has ever posted on Facebook is this:

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You’re right Billy, you ain’t shit. And neither is your 17 year old friend who we will no doubt be making famous alongside you in the near future.



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35 Comment(s)
  • Chip Striker
    April 29, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    Note to all you hoodrats:

    When you walk around with your flat brimmed Bulls hat fully equipped with the stickers and your pants saggin (spell that backwards) below your ass us normal folks always get a good laugh at your expense. You idiots are a walking version of the Star Wars bar.

    Oh, and we are all very impressed at your “hard ass” look, and get quite the chuckle knowing how doing things the right way and working a full time job scares the living shit out of you.

  • Bootymama22222
    April 28, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    You’re mean… stop making fun of them. You’re the shithead.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    April 28, 2017 at 9:21 am

    No one has answered my question about the bulls and the hats? Pleeease.

    • Chip Striker
      April 28, 2017 at 12:10 pm

      Thats an easy one. They’re copy cats. One did it, they saw it and want to be like them. Flat brimmed Bulls hat with the sticker still on it, pants sagging below the ass. That’s the hoodrat tuxedo. It means they’re a bad ass. Funny though, as bad ass as they are, they are scared to death of an 8 hour work day.

  • Publius
    April 27, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    As Kyle proved skinny hardos like these can thrive in state prison if willing to be the jail bride of real thugs. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    • Chip Striker
      April 27, 2017 at 11:58 pm

      If Kyle proved anything, being an asshole will get you to Shirley, but opening your asshole will make you popular there.

  • Turtleboysports is terrible
    April 27, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    How the fuck are you gonna make fun of his mom youre pathetic trying to get famous with bullshit reports on shit you don’t even know you’re not a journalist and you never will be because you never get the full story and get bullshit from kids on Facebook and you believe it

    • that's stupid
      April 28, 2017 at 7:36 am

      If you don’t know whats going on with your kids , Under your own roof you failed

    • PARIS
      April 28, 2017 at 10:32 am


      • Just Wondering?
        April 28, 2017 at 11:44 am

        A run on sentence PARIS, but at least you have ONE redeeming quality: You used a comma!!! Keep practicing though, and maybe SOMEDAY you’ll have that GED!!! I wish you the best of luck in your unending quest!

    • Just Wondering?
      April 28, 2017 at 11:38 am

      WOW! That was ONE sentence!!! Do they not teach proper grammar and sentence structure in GED classes anymore?

      Just wondering?

  • Troubled Nostrils
    April 27, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    I see peeps like these degenerates, and I start to think that a coherent argument can be made for a certain level of genocide.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    April 27, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    we also need combat training and hazard pay for convenience store clerks. These poor people actually working and they have to deal with these stupid fucking asshole punks. Seriously , come at me with a shotgun , I promise I am
    Prolific enough to take your knees out and let you think about how some skinny little white gramma took your ass out. How bow dat? Mutha fucka. I might go get a job at a store and work 11-7 just to see what happens. I have been a little testy lately.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    April 27, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    ***wear stupid phone. I really do know how to spell and construct a sentence. Lol.

  • FatFingr Lou
    April 27, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    One of Maura’s gun owners.

    We old white guys know nothing.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    April 27, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    Bring back the inmates cleaning the side of the roads , they are disgusting and I am not gonna do it. And I know nothing about sports, are the bulls bad or ratchet? Because I don’t understand why all the ghetto cum slingers all where those stupid hats with stickers and price tags. When I buy something I generally take the tag off but this seems foreign to all of them. What the fuck am
    I missing? Will someone please enlighten me. Thanks

    • PARIS
      April 28, 2017 at 10:29 am


      • SilverStone
        April 29, 2017 at 8:44 pm


        Fucking idiots.

        • on it's back
          May 21, 2017 at 4:34 pm

          I don’t care who you are that’s fucking funny!!

    • SilverStone
      April 29, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Tags on hats? Damn, that’s an easy answer.

      Way back in 1966 the first ever American hoodrat (not to be confused with the first Canadian hoodrat) was watching Hee Haw with his Mom and Pop. Minnie Pearl took the stage, he took one look on the grainy black and white TV, got an immediate SilverStoneWoodie™ and told his parents “dammit I want one of those”. His parents commenced with slapping him around for a day or two for saying “dammit”…quite possibly this is the beginning of his anti social behavior.
      Time went on, and as we all know hoodrats breed like, well, hoodrats. Litters it seems every few months. Exponential growth. Don’t have one living next door to you now? Tomorrow you will.
      So yeah. Blame it on Minnie Pearl. And Country Music.
      Because Country Music sucks. Big time.

    • peanut
      April 30, 2017 at 1:23 am

      it’s to keep it in new shelf-stocking condition and prove that it’s not a knock-off for street cred points

      the correct way to wear the cap is to curve the brim because it was functionally designed to block out the sun (i would curl a new brim and stick it through the back and let it sit for a day) — i guess now it’s uncool to make a hat look used — but frankly i think it looks retarded.

      just like hoodrats are unable to figure out how to wear pants correctly and instead wear them as a liability that hinders their ability to get around, they can’t figure out how to wear caps correctly either.

      but they really know how to stick it to the system before getting thrown in it.

      “no i won’t use a belt or bend the brim! look at my undies! take that, pig!”

  • jamie fucking rivera
    April 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    who ever made this need to cut the shit thats my god mother . her son fucked up , if your child doesnt wana listin you can be the best parent out there and it wont help

    • Chip Striker
      April 27, 2017 at 8:21 pm

      Your god mother should not have come to this country and reproduced. She’s a dumb spic cunt who needs to die. Wish you all would go back to your shithole country.

    • buckfarmer
      April 27, 2017 at 8:34 pm

      Sorry, kids who don’t listen aren’t born that way, they’re raised that way. If that kid grew up with me he wouldn’t be out shooting people and CERTAINLY would be pulling his pants up. no excuses, messed up kids are a result of poor parenting.

    • me
      April 28, 2017 at 10:09 am

      i guess a parent will have to play the “i can take more than you can” game. or the “i ain’t your friend” tactic. or the “you are my only business” philosophy. my kid hated me, but i gave no shits. i told her the first time she told me she hated me, “that’s fine. hate me all you want. but you WILL mind me.” she was 4. i never got mad. i was just consistent.

      but sometimes, kids are really good actors and actresses and they will use our love for them to both of our detriments. my dad was pretty smart. he bought some land, lots of dirt bikes, some russian peasant farming gear and made use work hard as hell before we got any fun. and that produce? tasty. so when i got off the farm i had to go to the kitchen to help mom can. kids need work and direction.

  • Chip Striker
    April 27, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Another unoriginal fucktard with his pants down below his ass. Doesn’t this signal you are available for some love in prison? After seeing how Kennedy became a pillow biter perhaps they’ve been sending signals this whole time.

  • It's Real !
    April 27, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    Has to be fictional & made-up.

  • FaggotyStalkingFag
    April 27, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    I’d fuck him!!!

  • whatevuh
    April 27, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    Never a good sniper around when you need one

  • Turd Burglestein
    April 27, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    His new relationship goal is gonna be remaining a virgin in prison.

  • Madcow not Rachel
    April 27, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Actually………Billy and his hole family ARE shit. What fucking species is MaMa…..?????
    Is that Lil Billy in the orange shirt searchin for his junk while cryin bout hiz scumbag cuzin gittin shot in the head????

    Billy and Kyle will make a cute couple in lockup………. who gonnabe top man??????

  • mmanager
    April 27, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Love to hear all the kids talking about how you can’t release the 17 years old name because he’s a minor. No you bring a gun into an establishment and pull the trigger big boy jail is your punishment.

  • EmfnT
    April 27, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    It’s unreal…..How do we end up with so many useless pieces of shit in our society? So many people with absolutely ZERO redeeming qualities. As a society we must be somehow failing these people as it seems like we just keep creating more of them as opposed to less. It’s sad and frustrating…

    • Steven Stover
      April 27, 2017 at 9:03 pm

      Generational Welfare aka The Great Society. A invention of the Democratic Party which LBL promoted. His own words in which he said “I ‘ll have the niggers voting Democrat for the next 200 years” It has worked but with unintended consequences. It created a entire class of trash that will never be leaving the ghetto. But the Democrats don’t care. They get to stay in power. Trump addressed them and said “what have you got to lose?”. Plenty. Cheap Bulls hats and sneakers and cheesy gold chains. They don’t care about hope and a job and respectability.

  • No Fathers In Sight
    April 27, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    We need mental institutions back for the mentally ill, and we need
    prison work places for people like this. No young man this age should be
    this worthless and bored with life.
    He should be working/ in school, or forced to go in the army.

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