All-Star Criminals

Legendary Putnam Porch Squatter Arrested For Stealing Chevy Impala In Epic Drunken Bender

Legendary Putnam Porch Squatter Arrested For Stealing Chevy Impala In Epic Drunken Bender

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The Connecticut Corridor is a ratchet factory:

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Holy EBT!!! That is one sexy tooth!! Sure, she could just get rid of it, but ol’ chomper can still be used to shotgun Natty Ice’s. She’s holding onto him for dear life.

Apparently Beverly Marshall is a Putnam porch squatter:

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Perfectly normal.

Here’s my question – where are all the people who wanna ban booze? Because if this chick was high on weed that’s what this story would be about. The dangers of marijuana and driving. Clearly this woman has an addiction to alcohol. But she made the choice to start drinking. Because that’s how freedom works. So why are people cool with allowing this chick to buy her poison at any local liquor store, but potheads can’t buy weed? People don’t steal cars when they’re high. But in Putnam they do steal cars when they’re drunk. So yea, tell me more about how dangerous pot is. Because if you ban marijuana addicts won’t have any other alternative substances to get addicted to.



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28 Comment(s)
  • Zfg
    February 20, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    I doubt she even lives on a porch and TB missed the story a few days prior to this she jumped into a guys running car while he was in a store while his 10 year old kid was asleep in the back seat I unfortunately have had the pleasure of dealing with this beauty first hand on several occasions at my job and alcohol is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this ladies problems.

  • whatevuh
    February 1, 2017 at 8:47 am

    Nicest compliment you can pay to a girl from Putnam . . . nice tooth !

  • Mistressveila
    February 1, 2017 at 2:42 am

    They live on a porch? ……maybe they were upgrading their digs, from porch to car…..

  • BobnMic
    January 31, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    I definitely would……………With Fiesties Dick LMFA, oh shit that was a good one!

  • BobnMic
    January 31, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    Fiesty: Has your tooth stopped hurting
    yet my dear?

    Turd: I don’t know. The dentist kept it….

    • BobnMic's Gaping Anus
      January 31, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      My butt will never stop hurting.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      January 31, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      That’s not how the story goes…

      BobnMic: How’s your pussy feeling?

      BobnMic’s Junkie Wife: Fisted. It’s feeling fisted because Fiesty keeps her promises.

      That’s how it goes. Guess what? I’m going to pull a double on her soon and while both hands are in there I will give myself a round of applause…. her snatch will never be the same!!

      • BobnMic
        January 31, 2017 at 9:50 pm

        So that is funny how again there Frosty? At least mine had some assemblance of humor ya miserable wench. Again your response – NA NA – NA NA NA! So typical it reeks of a misguided childhood bordering on mental defectiveness.

        • BobnMic
          January 31, 2017 at 10:03 pm

          And Turtleboy for real? You really want to invite this dehumanizing drama queen experience dumpster of a so called chick onto your live show for real? Talk about career suicide dude.

          Don’t jump! Get off of that ledge and do not jump!…

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 31, 2017 at 11:02 pm

            Don’t worry. I WILL 100% be on LIVE. It can be soon, it can be 1 month from now or two…. but I WILL GO ON. You should be worried when I do. If you think for any second I’m not as quick, witty, or knowledgeable live, you will be sorely disappointed.

            I spoke to TB. I was informed I do NOT have to behave. So, again… you better pray that WHEN I DO go live, I have mercy on you. More than likely I won’t.

            How mad are you when I talk about your wife’s gaping vagina? Lolololololol…

          • BobnMic
            January 31, 2017 at 11:35 pm

            Hey knock yourself out. I’ll record the whole thing. Please do mention your satanic raunchy homo tendencies toward my wife you sick piece of shit. I’ll post it on youtube.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            February 1, 2017 at 12:23 am

            Um… Do you think that worries me? The Live podcasts have thousands of views. Who is going to go to YOUR link on Youtube who hasn’t already heard it first on TB? LOL…

          • BobnMic
            February 1, 2017 at 12:25 am

            Fiesty Frosty – Oh and that whole imaginary quick witty and knowledgeable live mumbo jumbo bunch of horse shit you are about to spew? Bring. it. fucking. on. asshole. There is no doubt that you will crash and burn and I for one will laugh my fucking ass off when I hear it and you fail.

            And for Turtleboy to invite this scum sucking sewer rat dumpster queen like Fiesty the fake lawyer on live? Really? No I’m serious really? You dude, just lost my total respect after all this time of riding said turtle and supporting.

            Jesus fucking Christ not to mention blowing me off totally on previous discussions on how to make this blog greater, setting the record straight for me personally, and who to say fucking bye bye to. Freedom of speech you hid behind. Really? – Even if it means the integrity of your business? Well ok then. I fucking disagree. I cannot stomach SJWs period. They are taking over here. And YES they are called fucking Libtards. Sometimes you have to say fuck you to some people. Lynch, Fiesty and Turd should all be GONE from here. And you fucking know it so fucking do something about it.

            Then a real blog may emerge.

          • Turd Burglestein
            February 1, 2017 at 5:16 am

            So BobnMic…I guess Turtleboy told you to take your kevin lynch exclusive and go fuck yourself huh? So much for getting to play a pulitzer award winning journalist, but now you’re gonna pretend to be a top business consultant and tell him how to make his blog bigger than Drudge???


          • FiestyLawyerLady
            February 1, 2017 at 8:29 am

            First, you keep calling me an SJW but I don’t think you know the true meaning of an sjw. They are usually snowflakes and “libtards” as you so describe. I am not a liberal, I’m a conservative. How the fuck you don’t see that by now is beyond me.

            Second, if I “crash and burn” on live (not going to happen) it will NOT ruin Turtleboy’s career as I’m only a pencil tip in the TB world. Not important enough to ruin this blog because of live. Thanks for giving me that much power though!

            Third, you act like TB owes you something for being a follower. You act like anyone here owes you anything. No one here, specifically TBS, has to go to bat for you. I’m confused as to why you expect that level of respect when clearly, you don’t deserve it.

            Fourth, telling someone you can make their blog better and being upset that they never took your suggestions is not only weird, it’s over stepping your boundary. Not only is telling someone that your idea of how to run their business disrespectful, it is quite pretentious. You don’t have a blog have never run a blog or written one. How you even begin to fantasize that you could offer insight as to how to improve a business that is already booming is beyond my comprehension. Mainly because I don’t tell people how to do the job they already know how to do.

            Lastly, suck a big…fat…herpes encrusted cock. I hope said cock smacks you right on the mouth as punishment. Go ask Kevin to do it, you two have so much in common.

          • BobnMic
            February 1, 2017 at 2:08 pm

            Fiesty the Frosty you ARE a Social Justice Warrior. You just have not come to terms with that very fact yet. Much like your sexuality. You are a very confused and angry man hating lesbian but you are living a lie and in total denial. And so isn’t your sidekick shithead with all of his penis and shit pictures. That fucking fruitcake fudge packer has to be performing fellatio on the regular no fucking doubt about it. A leather fag is how I picture that dude.

            You guys just don’t get it do you. When you start bashing military veterans for simply speaking their minds then re-fix your sites on the Police then that qualifies you both of being fucking LIBTARD SJW scum buckets!

            I do not know how to explain this any more simple. What part of this do you not understand?

            And I am not “telling” Turtleboy Sports how to run their blog. I consider TBS a friend and as such I always look out after my friends. Family as well so it is nothing more than a wet willie or a wedgie at times just to keep it real. Shit – I still punch my brother in the arm when he is unsuspecting. Nothing to my little sister however. Those rules are all kinds of different. I am very protective to my Sis.

          • Turd Burglestein
            February 1, 2017 at 2:11 pm

            I wish Turtleboy would just write a story punking out BobnMic as being the biggest moron to ever comment here and tell him to go fuck himself with that suction cup dildo Fiesty’s offered him in the past…because ignoring him doesn’t seem to get your point across.

          • BobnMic
            February 1, 2017 at 3:17 pm

            I offered that suggestion but you said I was 3rd rate small potatoes or words to that effect and that I needed to commit a crime or some shit. Now you recant? Make up your fucking mind dude can you? I’d love a story from TBS on my legitimacy just to prove to you and Fiesty fuckface and for you two to cease your insanity and slanderous scutata voltumus attacks on everything I comment on under the sun.

            That is if I admit to it of course. Which I will not. Family protection remember? That’s right you two assholes could give a flying fuck about that reality maybe due to your disdain for your own family. Who the fuck knows.

            And once again to recap because I know your attention span is the sum equivalent to a badly used slice of Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths, I commented on topics presented in an article for the most part. I never once came out and just spewed out a fucking resume.’ I don’t use a profession in my screen name like your fake lawyer GF in an effort to impress when in reality she is anything but a professional. If she had a “FeistyLonelyHousewifeLoserLady” I’d have more respect for her. But no. She has to go with a profession that she would never achieve in this or her next lifetime.

            Topics regarding the Military. I commented and shared my experience and expertise.

            Topics on American Policing or in particular local Law Enforcement, I commented and shared experience and expertise.

            Topics on higher education, I commented and shared experience and expertise. The topics range in here from A to Z so I comment, not on everyone, but those that I can relate to.

            And when I do, holy shit, Libtards like you two morons go batshit crazy for whatever reason and try to censor me by saying shit like, “SHUT DE FUCK UP.” So indicative of what SJWs fundamentally by nature stand for. Look it up numbnuts. You two fit the profile whether you are aware of it or not.

            When you tell someone to shut the fuck up because of an ‘opinion’ that you disagree with – you ARE a social justice warrior.

            It must suck to be so confused.

          • BobnPaul's Chat Shack
            February 1, 2017 at 8:47 pm

            The butthurt is strong with this one! “Wah, I wanna be on TB Live. Not Feisty.” Go pout in the corner, you fucking fuck. Really? Yes, really! F U Bob!

          • BobnMic
            February 2, 2017 at 2:49 am

            So I’m a “fucking fuck?” What exactly is said fucking fuck may I ask? That sounds like a play directly from the butthurt playbook. Chapter one – GET PISSED then say fucking fuck while stomping your feet and punching your keyboard and wishing someone to DIE! LMFAO….

          • BobnMic
            February 2, 2017 at 4:53 am

            So Fiesty Frosty you have to know what the first question TurtleBoy is going to ask you if and/or when you show up for the live show right? He will ask if you are an actual lawyer. And so are you going to ‘actually’ look at him square in the face and lie? Or will you finally admit that you are a fraud. And only used that screen name to garner attention and appear to be the smartest ever in here because you suffer from a female version of the Napoleon Complex.

            Remember shit for brains, you have to be honest. TB seems to have street smarts to me and I doubt he’d fall for any of your undeniable bullshit. Better bring your ‘A’ game and I’ll be waiting to record you slander me and my family like you did to that family from Spencer. You know, the one that your boyfriend still uses his face picture from social media to publicly shame him with pornographic photographs of male erections on his forehead?

            You don’t think that alone could come back to haunt you and that idiot as well? Really? Guaranteed half of those screen pics were from you anyway you fucking idiot slob. But anyway continue on you sexually deceased wench. It makes for great drama such as the way you live for it.

            And the look on your face when TB tells you probably off camera that I am no joke and 100% for real. That I envision and will be priceless.

  • Cat Vomit Tango
    January 31, 2017 at 2:07 pm


  • WHAT?
    January 31, 2017 at 1:07 pm


  • Dentists without borders
    January 31, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    Has to have some wacko ink on her too, guaranteed.

  • Mary Jane
    January 31, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    If she was high from smokin a little herb she would have been porch locked (I would have said couch locked but she probably doesn’t have one). Oh and when you are high it is way to much work to steal a car to go to the store. That’s why you get your local pizza joint (haha I said joint) to deliver some tastey munchies. Maybe more people should smoke the herb then there would be less crime and more pizza sales. I have always said “If everyone in the world smoked a joint at the same time there would be world peace for at least a few hours.”

    • T. Chong
      January 31, 2017 at 12:35 pm

      Of course, alcohol is one of the worse going. Pot is much less crime producing in the big picture.

  • Pennsrant
    January 31, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    I wonder that myself.

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 31, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    Firsties!!!! Hey TB stop writing stories about my ex!

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