Well, would you look at this:
I know I’m going to catch a lot of slack for this, but here goes anyway….What. The. Fuck. You can go ahead and leave your hate for me in the comments section. I don’t give a fuck. There is no real common sense here, it’s the ultimate show of butthurt weakness. Just like when feminists rail on about wanting the rights we already fucking have, straight pride is a stupid, boring and needless idea. Just one less day in Boston where you can drive without the risk of a fatal road rage accident!
“This is our chance to have a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate straight pride.” Has this guy never been to the Fourth of July parade? Missed out on the memorial day parade? We have plenty of patriotic parades running through Boston throughout the calendar year, buddy. I don’t know where you’ve been. This is just confusing. Straight pride parade? Isn’t that just traffic?
I’m not going to argue the merits of the gays vs. the heteros here, because what’s the point? I don’t give a fuck who sleeps with who, unless its someone I’m sleeping with (my husband), because I’m not a nosey fucking pervert. Your orifices, your business. And if you want to have a parade…. have a parade, I guess? Don’t cry when I mock your boring-ass idea, though.
Gay pride parades are fun because they’re full of unusual and flamboyant shit like this.
It’s fun to gawk at. It’s high energy. So many colors, so much glitter. You can be morally opposed to it, or not, but let’s face it, this is at the very least interesting to look at.
And this is not.
Gay pride events are usually booze soaked great times – it’s straight white women who lame this shit up.
It’s a daytime adult event, not a children’s storybook hour, for fuck’s sake. This is both the right time and place for this shit, and it’s fun.
Sorry, fellow straight people, but let’s be real here – we’re just never going to get that fucking creative with our pride.
A straight pride parade, I would imagine, would look more like….this?
I mean…I’d trust those folks to give me sound financial advice for sure. Or recommend a good Steakhouse. Less so to put on a bitchin’ and visually interesting street event. We’re talking a parade. With floats.
What kind of floats would a straight pride parade included, exactly? Cargo shorts themed float?
A His-and-Her novelty item float?
Unplanned pregnancy float?
Bachelor pad themed float?
Maybe a wicked fun Bible booth?
Sounds like a blast.
And yeah, I know these are all really broad and unfair stereotypes aimed at heterosexuals, but 99% of every gay pride parade is celebrating every wild and flamboyant homo stereotype except for like, AIDS, because AIDS isn’t fun. But you know what is fun? Gay pride.
I don’t really see the point. Like, yeah, I guess in theory an event of this magnitude is extremely triggering to liberal wingnuts, and that’s amusing and all, but you can troll for that same reaction literally everywhere on the internet at any time, on any day. And honestly, way to be wicked triggered, straight people in Boston. You’re so bothered by a glittered-laden rainbow parade that you must have your own, too? Like some sort of cultural participation trophy? Lame.
Anyway, for the record, I think this is a stupid idea that’s just going to fuck up traffic and draw a bunch of counter protests. But hey, if you’re so fucking bothered by the idea of not being recognized for your attraction to the opposite sex and natural inclination to make babies, feel free to hit up Mark Sahady.
I bet he still needs volunteers to man the Socks with Sandals float.