All-Star Criminals

Lowell Beaver Bumper Wisely Warns Victim On Facebook That She’s Going To Shoot Him, 2 Hours AFTER Shooting Him In Fast And Furiousesque Road Rage Incident

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Some not so surprising news out of Lowell, via Patch:

LOWELL, MA — A Peabody man has been identified as the victim of Thursday’s fatal shooting near the Lowell Commuter Rail station. Middlesex District Attorney Marissa Ryan said Friday morning that Graciela Paulino, 20, of Lowell, had been arrested in the shooting death of Mark Devoe, 34 of Peabody. Ryan said the shooting was a random road rage incident in which Paulino followed Devoe in her car before shooting him in the chest.

Devoe had been working at a nearby construction site, Ryan said. After being shot at about 12:45 pm Thursday he got into his car but crashed a short distance later. A passenger in Dvoe’s car tried to perform CPR before he was transported to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead. Police arrested Paulino Thursday. She was arraigned Friday morning in Lowell District Court.

Wow. Color me surprised. Road rage shooting, in LOWELL? Nah fam, can’t be. Especially not at the hands of this fine, upstanding lickalotapuss

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Graciela Paulino, snatch gravy gobbler extraordinaire, entrepreneur, and aspiring vlogger

She was just chillin’ in her bimmer, listenin’ to Ether

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when Marc Devoe, of Peabody, must have cut her off. She decided the G thing to do would be to follow him and then blow him to smithereens right then and there, because what ELSE are you supposed to do when someone flips you the bird in traffic?

She tried to warn ’em, to tell ’em to stop, but clearly, he wasn’t having it and got spanked in the process. #YOLO

Apparently, she’s been on a clampage since January

I’d say she was spot on with 2018 doing her justice. You see, this isn’t Graciela’s first rodeo. Back in 2015, she was popped by the gang unit in Lowell for driving around with a bad inspection sticker… and a sawed off shot gun:


What’s interesting here is, this shrub scout was out and about to roam the streets after being arrested for an insanely serious offense. This is what the MGL says about possession of a sawed off shotgun:

“Whoever, except as provided by law, possesses a machine gun, as defined in section one hundred and twenty-one of chapter one hundred and forty, without permission under section one hundred and thirty-one of said chapter one hundred and forty; or whoever owns, possesses or carries on his person, or carries on his person or under his control in a vehicle, a sawed-off shotgun, as defined in said section one hundred and twenty-one of said chapter one hundred and forty, shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for life, or for any term of years provided that any sentence imposed under the provisions of this paragraph shall be subject to the minimum requirements of paragraph (a).”

Ya got that? Possession of a sawed off shotgun carries a potential life sentence, yet, here’s Ellen Degenerate rolling around town like nothing happened. Wonder why that is?

She HATES rats, so it can’t possibly be because she is one herself.

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COULDN’T be, I mean, she hangs with Jesus and everything.

Her Facebook is filled with tons of drivel, but the only truth she’s ever spoken can be summed up in one post from December:

I think we’re all in agreement here that the best part of dykopath ran down her mother’s asscrack and on to the no-tell motel’s sheets. Abortion certainly would’ve been a much more humane option for the world than having to be subjected to this murderous clam lapper.

How long ’til the “freemuhboihedindunuffin” brigade is out in full effect? My turtle senses are tingling, and I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say within the next hour.

And in a shocking turn of events, it seems that Lala here was part of a youth program in Lowell, targeting “at risk” kids and trying to get them on the straight and narrow:

Newsflash: there’s no curing hoodratchetry. Once a ratchet, always a ratchet. Stop funneling money into these “feel-good” programs that clearly don’t do a damn thing to stop the perpetual cycle. That article was written a mere 8 months before her arrest for the sawed off shotgun, just proving that programs like these only serve to bolster the ratchet connections in the community, giving them wider circles with which to pave their paths of destruction on.

Might be time to just flick a match onto the dumpsterfire that is Lowell and start anew once the embers are out.

26 Comment(s)
  • Chuck
    February 18, 2018 at 11:29 pm

    New York Post carried it today.

  • Big Dawggie
    February 17, 2018 at 11:14 pm

    Go check out her video
    It’s just hilarious.

    • Dreamers Killing Americans
      February 18, 2018 at 7:52 am

      “How does the violence effect you?”

      “I go to jail for life for committing premeditated murder.”

      Build that fucking wall, throw these invaders out!! Put her on a sharpened post and let her slide down vlad the impailer style.

  • First Time Caller
    Shirley Leung
    February 16, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    Off to sensitivity training for all of you.
    I’ll be here at this shitty rag, in my office, getting paid to contact sponsors and try to scare them off. Oh, and stuffing a pupu platter in my ugly face, hanging with Long Duk Dong, Sum Ting Wong, and Wee Fukem Yung. Instead of duck sauce im going to have obit writer Bryan Marquart choke his chicken and spew all over my plate.
    I’m a big fucking hypocrite.

  • bad clam and re-fried bean dip
    February 16, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Do you know what they call a porta-potti in Texas ?
    ANSWER: Mexican space shuttle

    • ha ha
      February 17, 2018 at 10:24 am

      thats a good one!

      I was going to say and all you can eat re-fried bean and chili buffet, bring your own spoon.

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    February 16, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    Ugly chicks sometimes like to turn lez and dress like bulldykes. All because they can’t get the D.

  • murdering people in traffic is her culture this is diversity
    February 16, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    “Im Just Average” …. wrong, you are a cancer on society.

    Dreamers killing Americans.

  • Maggie the Cat
    February 16, 2018 at 5:52 pm

    I agree with Graciela…she should have been aborted. But then her Momma wouldn’t have been able to collect welfare for her. (Or him, ‘cuz she looks like she wants to be male.) Welfare payments are at the root of all evil. There are some people who just shouldn’t have kids, and Graciela’s parents are probably two of those many people who shouldn’t have kids. Too late now, but if we stop paying money to people to reproduce I think the crime rate would go way down.

  • NSTB sucks puss
    February 16, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    Love Turtle boy, but all set with NSTB. tries way to hard to be funny.

    • Richard Bridges
      You shitcock!
      February 16, 2018 at 4:41 pm

      Yet you continue to read her blogs. You are a rude shitcock, lousy pig fucking skinner!

      • NSTB sucks puss
        February 16, 2018 at 5:12 pm

        Just because I made a comment doesn’t mean I read her blog. I read a few paragraphs of this and have read her others. I said I love turtleboy. I also like the other writers. I don’t care for NSTB writing style. You don’t have to agree. Could care less if you do or not. It’s my opinion and I can speak it. Just like you can right. And what I wrote was far from rude. Considering what you said shit cock. But hey it’s all words right

  • patsfan87
    February 16, 2018 at 2:30 pm

    I personally knew Marc he was a good guy, He give the shirt off his back for you, I can’t believe everything he overcame in life and to get murdered like that, He didn’t deserve that, I feel sorry for his family, RIP man. Crazy to read this.

  • Duane
    February 16, 2018 at 1:22 pm

    That’s a woman?

  • TJB
    February 16, 2018 at 1:05 pm

    1. Homosexual
    2. Lesbian
    3. Ugly
    4. Beaner
    5. Cold blooded murderer.
    Abortion would have been kinder. Now she will go clam digging at the greybar hotel. Good riddance.

    • Too many racist turtles
      February 16, 2018 at 7:05 pm

      Homosexual and lesbian pretty much the same. Beaner? Stay classy turtle riders

      • Well, No Shit
        February 16, 2018 at 7:30 pm

        New here?

      • clam and bean dip
        February 16, 2018 at 7:50 pm

        Do you know why Mexicans eat re-fried beans?
        ANSWER: Because they couldn’t get it right the first time.

  • Rich
    February 16, 2018 at 12:57 pm

    Lowell celebrates diversity!!!

    • February 16, 2018 at 6:49 pm

      Lol you yankeys molest more children than any other race. Shoot up more schools than any other race. Your hands are just as dirty!

      • MrSmiley
        February 16, 2018 at 8:21 pm

        So cutting each other up and basically melting the bodies cartel style is sooo much better right? Or hey use the google machine and look up Pedro Alonso Lopez aka the monster of the Andes? Why don’t you tell me what race you are so I can narrow it down a bit more? You’re a joke sir, keep practicing.

      • Frank
        February 17, 2018 at 6:45 am

        The last shooters name was Rivera… JS

  • Well, No Shit
    February 16, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    Her “father” should have pulled out of her momma’s tuna trench and splooged on the wall. 

    Unfortunately, after busting a cap in her victim, she didn’t stick the gun in her mouth and squeeze the trigger. Now, the State has just picked up another life-estate resident at the Iron Bar Hotel. Splendid. 

    • Sterlingsilva
      February 16, 2018 at 10:31 pm

      Life?? She will be out in 15!

      • Well, No Shit
        February 17, 2018 at 8:06 am

        Unfortunately, you’re probably right. 

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