Wawa’s are easily the best mini-marts in America. They’re primarily in the Philadelphia area, but they should be everywhere. Evidently they have moved to Florida, and this is what happens when Wawa’s move to Florida.
These two dudes fighting at 2am in a Wawa with their asses out and their pants around their knees is a Hall of Fame Internet Fight Video pic.twitter.com/6ZZyG1CNyP
— KFC (@KFCBarstool) November 23, 2020
This is quite possibly the best viral fight video I’ve since since the gravy dumpster grab assing at the Auburn Mall in 2016.
The only thing funnier than the fight itself was the play by play. And I dunno if this is racist to say, but the commentary just wouldn’t have been half as funny if a white guy was filming it. It just seems like it’s really fun to be black. You never hear a black guy worried or fazed in a situation like this. It’s just another trip to the Wawa.
“I just want my sandwich.”
“Let them boys do what they gotta do.”
“Take em to the sky! Up top, chicken box.”
“Y’all boys just scoot over real quick, just pay for my shit right quick. You wilin fam. They trippin out here ain’t it.”
“If y’all want it to end y’all both just let go. Y’all both dap up, call it quits, y’all got a good one in, I like it.”
“He ain’t gonna do shit, y’all boys just agree not mother fuckin hit each other.”
“Ok. He said he ain’t done. Do what you gotta do fam.”
“Get up outta here, you gone, you gone. Po-lease comin you know he gone!”
Let’s go to the play by play.
It starts filming with Marty McJiggles, who inexplicably has his pants down attempting to reign blows down upon Fanny Devito (who wore his fighting thong sandals for the occasion), while the clerk attempts in vain to intervene.
Once the fupa emerged gravity quickly began working against all parties involved, and the next thing you know the rack was going down, followed quickly by the clerk.
At this point the clerk realizes that he doesn’t get paid nearly enough to waste his time trying to stop these two pudding potatoes and he just lets them go at it.
Thank God Marty McJiggles had his mask on but not his pants – it’s unsanitary not to have a mask on.
The cameraman had seen quite enough, realized this fight was going, and attempted to purchase his sandwich. But (no pun intended) neither of these sex magnets was willing to concede.
At one point Marty McJiggles’ fupa and thigh actually came together to form a second ass.
McJiggles had an obvious height and weight advantage, but Fanny Devito had heart, and you can’t teach heart. Fanny Devito is a man who has been balding for years but refuses to shave his head. Instead he proudly wears the scraps of hair that remain on his head as a crown that he’s unwilling to relinquish until it’s torn off his head. You can’t defeat people like this because life defeated them a long time ago, but yet they remain standing. So when Marty McJiggles ran at him for the final death blow, Fanny Devito was ready for it and tossed him to the ground like a Mormon woman who didn’t have dinner ready at 6.
At that point Fanny Devito went for the death blow by attempting to mount Marty McJiggles like Kate Peter after three shots of fireball.
But alas he wasn’t aware of Marty McJiggles secret weapon – the male tramp stamp.
Next thing you know McJiggles was giving it to him missionary in the corner as the guy in the 5 XL muumuu and capris pretended like he was actually attempting to stop them.
Having secure the TKO and realizing the fuzz was no doubt on their way Marty McJiggles ran off into the darkness barefoot never to be seen again.
It’s unclear who stole whose food stamps in the first place to start this fight in the first place, but this will go down in the history of World Star tryout videos as perhaps the greatest white on white viral Internet fight video of all time.
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