This is what the Pride parade looks like in New Bedford:
And that right there is why New Bedford can’t have nice things. Only in New Bedford can an entire street full of people simultaneously and instinctively start a hundred person brawl without a single punch actually being landed. I’m not a anthropologist or anything, but I’m pretty sure there were exactly zero Port-a-gee at that Day of Portugal Festival. Although I did love the outfits.
Puerto Rican Nathan Phillips, a single Mom (probably) with a LOVE shirt, the only guy left in the world who still wears cargo shorts, and a pork dumpling dressed like an uncircumcised penis. If that’s not a New Bedford barbershop quartet I don’t know what is.
PR Nathan Phillips wasn’t backing down so the uncircumcised pork dumpling threw what appeared to be a water balloon directly at his face.
Can’t forget your water balloon for the Portugal Festival.
At that point everyone kind of just looked at each other for the briefest of moments realizing what had to happen next.
And without hesitation or any words being spoken every Masshealth mongrel in the vicinity immediately began throwing haymakers at whoever was standing next to them, because it’s summertime in New Bedford and there are no rules.
Then this mofo in the foreground appears with what appears to be a hammer, watching over it all while thinking about how Portugal Festival’s of yesteryear.
Looked like the cops had trouble dispersing the crowd, but all they really had to do was yell, “I got job applications” and they all would’ve done the hoodbooger half marathon back to their section 8 slug fortresses.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: