All-Star Criminals

Meet Rochelle Dickson: Beef Blumpkin #1 Who Has Been Robbing Ulta Beauty Store’s All Over New England And Is Currently Being Sought By Berlin Police

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Yesterday we published a blog about the two beef blumpkins Berlin Police were looking for after robbing an Ulta back in November.

Virtue signalers were all up in arms that people had the audacity to point out that these two apple pie enthusiasts were slightly out of shape.

Well, as it turns out there have been a bunch of Ulta’s robbed by two cheesehogs all over the Connecticut and Massachusetts area right around that time.

Police are searching for the two women who allegedly stole over $1,000 worth of items from an Ulta beauty storein Lisbon earlier this month. Connecticut State Police say that on Friday, November 9th at around 7:30 p.m., two women were caught on surveillance video placing unpaid items into their shouldered bags at the Ulta beauty store. The stolen items were valued at approximately $1,400.

Look familiar?

Oh look, it’s the stuffed crust sisters.

And look who we found.

It’s beef blumpkin numero uno. Her name is Rochelle Dickson, and she’s a 27 year old from East Providence. She recently took down her Facebook page since the Berlin Police Department post went viral, but her mother Susan’s page is wide open.

Girl, you’re trying to be inconspicuous make sure your butterfly tittoo isn’t showing during the commission of a crime.

Still waiting on beef blumpkin #2. Someone out there has to know who she is. No reason Rochelle here should have to take the fall on her own.

25 Comment(s)
  • Burlando Castile
    January 9, 2019 at 11:25 am

    Word has it they caught Dickson while she was lighting up a hamburger joint. 

  • Turd Reversalist
    January 9, 2019 at 1:34 am

    She does have a purdy mouth.
    Tried to find mom’s profile to get a better idea whether or not a sportsman’s trio would be worthwhile.
    No luck, mom must’ve gotten shy.
    Too bad, plunging both of their pooptubes would probably be fun.
    Eeniie meenie minee mo, dump the baby batter in which ho…

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    January 8, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    She’s got that Gene Simmons thing going with her hair style in the surveillance cam pics.

  • Clitty Litter
    January 8, 2019 at 6:41 am

    There’s a GofundMe for the poor bastard that had to brave the cigarette breath and boob cheese in order to apply that tittoo.

  • Mike Barnicle
    January 7, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Butterfly tittoo = boner shrinker.

  • Grundle Butter
    January 7, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    Two fat broads were accused of stealing. Police say they’re still at large. It at double extra large. They may be on the run but more than likely on the walk..with several rest stops.
    I’ll bet when they go camping the bears hide their food.

  • FattyLover
    January 7, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    All you guys are hypocrites, making fun of fat girls but we all know they are just like mopeds; fun to ride, but you don’t want to be seen on one.

    • Skinny Think Lynnie and the Walrus who blew Wads over Braintree
      January 7, 2019 at 7:10 pm

      I love fat chicks, just about every fattie I have banged has goobled the goo like a fucking champ. Not liek those skinny little cock teasers. When Happy goes off they are either usually ducking their heads or quickly covering the mushroom up with their hands so quick and clumsily, the shit goes all over the place and all through their hands. Such a waste. Also, fatties will take it up the butt more so. Half the time they don’t even realize it is in the butt, heck, they don’t even realize the are getting crotch whacked, they just want the attention. But when everything is said and done, I cannot deal with a fat chick who wants to start acting like a skinny chick and be a biatch and demand shit and order the guy around. I say, STFU you fat fucking dumb bitch and get back in line, oh yeah, and get me a fucking beer while you’re at it.

    • #FattyLoverToo
      January 7, 2019 at 7:16 pm

      As long as the fat broad has good dick-sucking skills (most do), then sure. But these ones aren’t just fat, they are some homely fucking skanks. A fat chick that looks good and has some skills is worth keeping on the line for those dry spells.

  • Horace Orifice
    January 7, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Mingya!

  • Lost cause
    January 7, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    Whatever beauty products there stealing, aren’t working!!! Get a job girls. The products are doing neither one of you any justice.

  • Mike Barnicle
    January 7, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    I just puked in my mouth a little.

  • Rats Nest
    January 7, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    What’s that saying about lipstick on a pig???

  • Stan
    January 7, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    You’d have better odds finding Bigfoot than a thin girl in Massachusetts, just sayin’

  • The angry taint
    January 7, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    christ, slash from GnR really let himself go

  • Disgruntled Employee
    January 7, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    Queequeg would be reluctant to harpoon that Great White Whale!

  • Yuck
    January 7, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    Too funny – two obese ugly women ripping off beauty supply stores. Sorry fatties, there is nothing in a beauty supply store that is going to make you fat fucks even minutely attractive.

  • Lenny Briscoe
    January 7, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    Fingerprints at several crime scenes matched prints found on a mayonnaise packet in the suspect’s purse. My advice to the accomplice at large (pun intended) is to turn yourself in. We can help.

  • Mooseandsquirrel
    January 7, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    She looks like Andre the Giant with lipstick

    • Fezzik
      January 8, 2019 at 6:33 am

      That’s insulting to giants.

  • WeAreFukd
    January 7, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Don’t dress like these two and we won’t shame.

    Kidding. We will. Do you think either of these two care that they’re fat? I don’t think they do. The dress like that for the attention, and they LOVE IT.

  • Randall Bangs Cheese Hogs
    January 7, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    She will give up FupaThong in 3…2…1

  • Paulo the three fingered waiter
    January 7, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    Don’t get between her and a plate of linguica.

  • Randall Guy
    January 7, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    Fatties need lovin’ too.

    • Y
      January 7, 2019 at 4:16 pm

      Randalllll, STFU already and GFY.
      No one, and I mean NO ONE, cares to hear/read your opinion.
      Matter of fact, we all wish you would do what the tall and handsome Jamaican man did when your POPsquad video is released.

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