Millbury Mom Posts About Killing Thief Who Stole All Her Kid’s Stuff From Garage, Turns Out It Was Her One Armed Bandit Husband And They’re Both Defending Their Honor On Oxford PD Facebook Page
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A few days ago a local woman from Millbury named Tianna Mellen posted about some dingleberry breaking into her shed and stealing her kid’s shit:
Wow!! Once she finds out who the chudmuffin is she’s gonna tear their balls off!!
Turns out it was her husband….
The most offensive part about that post was her misuse of spoiler alert. “Learn your facts” isn’t a spoiler alert. You’re just repeating the witty comment from the guy who just roasted you.
Hey, here’s an idea – if you’re gonna break into people’s places and steal shit to “provide for your family,” make sure you have two arms:
Oh snap!! It’s the guy who killed Dr. Richard Kimball’s wife!!
She should’ve realized she was lying down with a winner the second she saw this:
A cookies and cream flat brimmed hat and a “she’s 16 but she’s gonna be 17 in October” chinstrap. If you allow someone like this to put their womb broom inside your baby cannon, there’s gonna be a lot of losing Keno tickets in your future.
Anyway, it’s totally not his fault for breaking into these places because he has to take care of his three kids. He’s the only guy in America facing this predicament.
Gotta love the “he willingly gave everything back” thing. As if this was some noble gesture. Umm….he got caught red handed with a bunch of stolen shit. It wasn’t “given back,” the cops confiscated it. He didn’t have an epiphany and realize that stealing was morally wrong.
It’s all good though, because he had no choice. It’s not his fault his license was suspended. Lots of normal people routinely get arrested for driving with a suspended license.
The best part is that she still doesn’t realize that he took all the kid’s shit:
“we have lost everything, as Well as someone else stealing thousands of dollars of our own things and our children’s things”
I don’t have the heart to tell her that he probably pawned everything and spent all the money on a big bag of weed.
You’d think that after a humiliating set of Facebook posts the last thing Tianna and Kris would wanna do is continue to post on Facebook. But just like Marv and Harry in Kevin McCallister’s house, they were thirsty for more!!
Yup, he had to steal from other people because his Dad doesn’t pay for everything. Every other 26 year old father of three has their Daddy pay their bills.
According to Kris he never gets in trouble:
Yea, because stealing all your kid’s shit is the best way to show them how much you love them. And he’s right – he’s been out of trouble for the last 8 years. Hardly ever does anything wrong.
Kris also wanted to make it clear that the Oxford Police should not be congratulated for apprehending him.
Except the police report specifically says that they didn’t voluntarily return anything. He was caught in the act.
Kris did wanna make it clear though – he wasn’t the one who broke into your car:
No big deal everyone. He returned it all. It’s not even a crime anymore. High five!!
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