All-Star Criminals

Monson Madame Judge Dreadlocks Delivers Child Prostitute To Ware For Glad-To-Gland Combat With 71 Year Old Chudstuffer

Monson Madame Judge Dreadlocks Delivers Child Prostitute To Ware For Glad-To-Gland Combat With 71 Year Old Chudstuffer

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Monson used to be such a “nice” town.  Nestled snugly next to Wilbraham and Hampden, one could mistake it for a starter town for the upper-middle class.  It has a sleepy downtown with a little 8-aisle grocery store.  A full service gas station.  Lots of historic homes.  Unfortunately, it also sits next to Palmer and Stafford Springs, CT.




Stafford Springs is where every toothless NASCAR fan in a 50 mile radius dives upon for their amateur race track.  It looks like a baby version of Southbridge.  Palmer is where everyone from Ware moves when they get a car and finally scrape together “first and last” after their tax returns.  Moving up like George and Wheezy, indeed.

As you drive along Route 32 Monson, you’ll notice several modestly appointed homes. Nothing too remarkable, nothing too shabby.  There’s one well-kept antique Victorian for every boring 1980s ranch home. It isn’t until you get closer to the Palmer line that you really something almost remarkable: a trailer park.

Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with trailer parks. Some of them are nice little communities of good people who want cheap houses. You’ve got your double wides and then there’s some of them you can’t even tell are a trailer. Some of them are 55+ places and they keep all the oldsters away from the whippersnappers — who can blame them? But the one in Monson isn’t just any mobile home park.  It’s a real live trailer park.  Ray’s to be exact.

It’s called Ray’s Trailer Park.  They couldn’t be bothered to give it a cutesy name like Glenwood Heights Mobile Community or Quaboag River Mobile Home Park.  Nothing that real estate agents could use as a guise for what they’re really hocking when one goes on the market.  Nah, this here is RAY’S TRAILER PARK.  I’m sure, somewhere, there’s a “Ray” who started it all and he’s toothless and wears overalls with no shirt.  It sounds like a little piece of Winchentucky transplanted in the 413.

Inside of this wonderment of middle aged double wides (some of them have hot tubs!) lives this schmuck: Claire Poole.

What did this living, breathing cultural appropriation do in the little town of Monson that was so noteworthy?  Looking at her face, there’s so many opportunities!  Maybe she was selling stolen merchandise! Maybe she was a heroin addict who OD’d at the local gas station!  Maybe she left her children sitting in a 105-degree 1991 Chevy Lumina with the AC blowing hot air while she ran into Walmart to get her prescriptions!

None of that would be true.  Claire Poole did not do any of those things.  She was a pimp! Not just ANY pimp, neither.  Claire Poole PIMPED.  OUT.  A. TEENAGER. From her trailer home.  I’m not talking about freshly legal 19-year-old junior smokeshows.  We’re talking about a CHILD here.  As in “not 18”, as in “can’t drive yet”, as in “what the fuck?”

Here’s the story:

A joint investigation by the Monson and Ware police departments led to charges against two people allegedly involved in the prostitution of a minor. Claire E. Poole, 39, of 268 Palmer Rd. in Monson, and Walter C. Brown, 71, of 123 River Rd. in Ware, were arrested on Friday. The Northwestern District Attorney’s Office said Poole set up meetings for sex between a young teenager and Brown, and provided transportation. She also kept some of the proceeds of the prostitution, investigators said. Poole is charged with inducing a minor for prostitution, deriving support from child prostitution, exhibiting a child in a sexual act, distributing material depicting a child in a sexual act and human trafficking.

I mean, 2 questions loom in the air.  How come Claire Poole can’t pimp herself out?  Oh, that’s right.  Her ravioli probably has been permanently busted since 1995 and now it looks like a roast beef sandwich on wheat with extra cheese. If she could choose to “hold the mayo”, she probably would — but she hasn’t had any muscle control in that orifice in least 20 years.  The only thing that pusnag is “holding” is “on for dear motherfucking life” these days.

That’s one question.

The second?

Who buys a teenage girl near Monson for sex?

This motherfucker right here!

Walter “if there’s grass on the field, play ball” Brown.  From where?  Yes. Ware. Of course. Where else? You could tell me he was from Brockton, I’d shake my head.  You could tell me he was from North Adams.  I’d be like “You’re pulling my leg!”  Tell me he’s from Ware and I’ll know you’re talking real shit.  Oh, and he’s seventy one years old. Because you’re never too old to fuck a teenager in Ware.

Let us consider this for a moment.  Let’s just assume that maybe Claire’s childlike empress is 17 years old (that’s generous because I’m sure she wasn’t).  Walter, here, is 71. Walter paid to bang a girl 54 years younger.  This guy could be her grampy, for God sakes. This is not what Grampys do. They don’t slip teen girls geriatic peen!  They slip their teenage granddaughters secret $20 — not for sex, but because she told him she wanted to go out for ice cream, but she was really trying to score a dime bag of mids with her girls for Saturday.  That’s what Grampys are for!  Not for diddling little girls!

Can I say it again?  SEVENTY ONE!  Fucker’s probably doubling up on Viagra by now.  Let us just all collectively wince as we consider what his internet search history looks like. Now imagine him sitting before his ancient Dell computer holding a Pall Mall drinking Rubinoff vodka straight in an airless room with all the windows closed. Yes, thankfully you asked, Walter *also* lives in a trailer — but on his own lot.  Yuppers, so it’s on his OWN terms.  I’m going to guarantee he drives a 2000 Chrysler minivan.  For no reason.  No blacked out windows.  Just a rust bucket minivan.  It’s probably purple. I know they made them in purple back then.

You can always count on Ware.  Even when they’re not the main focus of an article, you can be sure they’ll force their way in there somehow.  Keep it classy, guys. Hey Monson, you keep on that “up and coming” list there, OK?  We ain’t seen the last of you now. You’re on the radar!


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11 Comment(s)
  • ____
    March 25, 2018 at 12:30 am

    Ware police had a tip from the victims friend. The victim happened to be my girlfriend. She lives in MA whilst i live in VA. Im still enraged to this day after finding out what happened. I lost all contact with her for a month or two. After the first week i was panicking then later on i checked her local news and saw what her mother did (Claire). I managed to contact my girlfriend after maybe two weeks after i saw it onthe news. She told me everything and tbh i wanted to kill her mother. I only just found this article after re looking at the event. Thank you for everything u have said in this article.

  • Longhetto
    September 8, 2017 at 2:33 am

    Monson a “starter” community for Wilbraham and Longmeadow? Fuck that! It’s as inbred and redneck as any other rural hick MA town! Wilbraham’s a shitty little speck of a rat’s hole that thinks it’s fancy cause it charges insane property taxes for no public services and Longmeadow is so retarded it elected a dim wit numb nuts town council member so slow he didn’t realize the anti-gun law he proposed for the town would also restrict Long-ghetto’s cops from carrying firearms! Western Mass. SUCKS!!!

  • Inspector Gadget
    July 12, 2017 at 6:05 am

    In certain Muslim regions these underage women and children are called “child brides” and are sometimes in “temporary marriages” lasting only hours, of course boys are often preferred over girls in places like Pakistan.

    “why doesn’t she pimp herself” excellent question TB, possibly she has low self esteem and doesn’t realize many turtle-riders would be happy to do her after a drink or two, look at her pics, guys saying they wouldn’t bang her when they got the beer goggles on, you would.. you know you would.

  • Slick Willy
    July 11, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    Totally bangable in the red RK Auto shirt, looks good to me.

  • Wabbitt
    July 11, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    Guys that age are the majority of the whore mongers out there; disposable income with nothing to spend it on. Wife probably dead. No prospects for a new relationship. It all adds up.

  • Mark D
    July 11, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    I don’t even know where Ware or Monson is. I think that is a good thing.

    • Jack Mehoff
      July 11, 2017 at 6:10 pm

      It’s West of Podunk and South of Old Furnace. Everyone knows that!

  • Sonny's Mom
    July 11, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    How did Ware police find out about this? Always love the part where the degenerates screw up and do themselves in!

  • bigdaddy
    carlos danger
    July 11, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    Any pictures of the girl? I can never have enough of them

    • 71 is the new 15
      July 11, 2017 at 1:47 pm


  • Hanginpossum
    July 11, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    I hope that they are able to run his DNA through the database. Sometimes Big Brother doesn’t sound so bad.

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