All-Star Criminals

No Happy Ending For Madam Rub & Tug Who Refused A Plea Deal

No Happy Ending For Madam Rub & Tug Who Refused A Plea Deal

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Life’s been rough on Lori Barron during her almost 5 years in and out of court.

Remember Lori Ann Barron? She’s the prized ham who was running a prostitution ring out of the “Day Spa For Gentlemen” before she got bagged again.

Yes, again.

Lori’s no one-trick-pony (see what I did there?) and was already busted in Salem, New Hampshire in 2011 after her “weight loss clinic” turned out to be a front for hookin’. Lori was banned from practicing “massage” in New Hampshire so she hopped the border into Lawrence, MA and set up shop on, you guessed it, Broadway.

Freakin’ Broadway, the hub of all things degenerate in the Merrimack Valley. Nothing good happens on 28 once you pass the Andover line and head straight towards Salem. There are shady check cashing spots, liquor stores, chop-shops, nail salons, fast food joints (like the notorious McDonalds on the corner of Essex with their new and improved tent-city) and graffiti. Lots of graffiti. That’s about it. It’s the perfect place to run a grimy massage parlor. You can get a cheap blowjob, a 6 pack of Miller to cleanse your palate/rid the taste of gonorrhea and an air freshener at CAP to cover the scent of despair on your drive home. That’s one-stop shopping! You may even catch a rare glimpse of “Fat Freddy” Santiago, the rotund dildorangutan who exploits the homeless community for profit.

Well everything was going swimmingly for Lori until one of her employees didn’t want to finish her.. shift.. This caused a category 5, bordello blowout. Lori dragged the chick down a flight of stairs and beat her ass in the parking lot which was enough to motivate the woman to go to the LPD. 


Lori lawyered up with a few different attorneys over the past 4 years, one of which was accused of getting some extra special attention.

Lori’s former workers claim they witnessed Torrisi getting serviced by Barron on more than one occasion at the spa. Lori was known to take down vehicle license plate numbers, photo copy drivers licenses of patrons, carry around bags of cash and had set up surveillance cameras inside the spa.

I have to hand it to her, Lori has balls! (AND she’s also willing to take huge risks in the face of prosecution!) She was SO ballsy, in fact, that she rejected every single plea deal given to her in court. Her last chance was back in March of this year. Lori was all “nah fam, I got this” and went to trial like a moron. It wasn’t enough that she already got away with running a rub & tug in NH and has been chillin’ scot-free for the past 4+ years during her drawn out court proceedings. She just had to go big or go home.

Well, Lori was found guilty this week and sentenced to 7 to 9 years at MCI. 

Yeah, yeah. We know Lawrence is lost. We know it’s #1 on every “top 10 shit-hole” list in Massachusetts. We know it’s crime rate, drug use/trafficking, failing schools, homeless population, pollution, corrupt politics, congested superior court and low income percentages aren’t brag-worthy but you know what doesn’t go unnoticed? The scent of Lori’s shame wafting in the breeze.. Or maybe that’s the funk coming from the Merrimack River. Whatever. Release the client list of “Johns” already!

I do love that she has to “surrender her state massage license”. Pretty sure they already did that in NH the first time around. No worries, there’s always Vermont and Maine to skip to.

Listen, I’m not gonna 100% hate on selling ass for cash. After all, it’s the oldest profession in the book. However, when you’re a greedy, exploitative shrew who manipulates, assaults and threatens women into making you dirty money, you can eat a dick. Then again, Lori is probably sick of the wang buffet which is good because she’ll be swimming in felony fupa for a while.

In memoriam, let’s take a final look at Lori’s trash-tastic photos from over the years:





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9 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    September 6, 2017 at 7:16 pm

    If you’re going to pay to have your knob polished, why would you pick her to do it? She’s not only has that psycho look, but she’s just dumpy looking.

  • Dick Dover
    September 3, 2017 at 8:22 am

    Say what you will, but ole girl can suck-start a Harley.

  • whatevuh
    September 3, 2017 at 6:23 am

    Rode hard and put away wet . . . . seems appropriate here

  • They call me Ponch
    September 3, 2017 at 6:15 am

    She ages like a fine [boxed] wine

  • Steven Stover
    September 2, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Is Bill Clinton on the John’s List?

  • Long Arm of the Law
    September 2, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    Is anyone else getting the Famous Footwear advertisement with the blonde woman in it?

    It keeps showing up in various iterations and I mistake it for the lady in the article even though I know better.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    September 2, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    You would think with the money she made she could afford a better wig. Wtf

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    September 2, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    With any luck she will qualify for senior citizen discount rates at the movie theatre when she next sees daylight not behind bars.

  • Stunt Penis
    September 2, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    7 to 9 years? She’ll be out in 3 months.

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