We all know the old adage: “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer” and one hardworking Northbridge young woman got a harsh reminder of that this week.

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Alexandria Brady recently learned the hard way that junkies will be junkies, relationships be damned. Her best friend of 8 years, Shauna Meadows, Benzo Queen Extraordinaire, robbed her blind while she was in the emergency room receiving breathing treatments for an acute asthma attack.

Shauna’s parents clearly enable her and her junkbox ratchetry, while Alexandria has to work hard and bust her hump to pay her own rent.

At first, Shauna tried to play the sympathetic ear. But Alexandria knew better. She had an inkling, and had already called her bank to put them on notice. The bank was able to pull the surveillance footage from the ATM where funds were withdrawn on two separate occasions and lo and behold:

For reference, here’s what Shauna looks like when she’s not ripping off her best friends in a xannie bar induced stupor

Sad, she was cute kid for being such a shitbag.

Poor Alexandria. She’d apparently already given Shauna a pass before when she’d fucked up their friendship. She’d tried to get her help, even bringing Shauna’s parents in to try and get her the treatment she needed.

But in true benzohead fashion, Shauna burnt her very last bridge. She initially tried denying that it was her when confronted. Then she got hit with the ATM stills and defaulted to “I’m just gonna kill myself” in the much too commonplace victim-poor me-I have a “disease”-junkie attitude we all know and loathe.

Snorty Sneet indeed. “I’ve reached a bad place in my head” is junkiespeak for “I don’t give a fuck about you, I’m a selfish cunt, and I will do whatever it takes to take care of me, fuck you.” Gross.
Alexandria is obviously very mad, heartbroken, and disgusted by this. So, she took to the Facebook machine to let their mutual friends know not to let this benzohead too close for fear of them, too, being robbed blind. For the most part, people were supportive, sharing stories of they themselves being swindled by Sheisty Shauna:

Some even speculated that Sticky Fingers McGee has been up to her shenanigans for awhile

Thomas gets it!

But of course, we always have that one detractor, don’t we? The errant SJW in a sea of Turtleriders who are all smart, attractive, witty, and always at the ready to call it like they see it.

Fuck you, Haley. How is everyone supposed to know to be on the lookout for this scuzzbucket? Plus, I’m sure you’d be singing a totally different tune if it were you holed up in the hospital, not able to breathe, while your junkie friend is next to you with one hand on your back and the other in your pocketbook. Shauna doesn’t want nor need help at this point. What she needs is a swift kick in the pants, a dose of Turtle Justice, and maybe a night or 30 in the slammer for not only robbing her friend, but disrespecting the loyalty and trust that Alexandria bestowed upon her even though Sheisty Shauna clearly didn’t deserve more than the gum off her shoe.

A lot of people went in on Haley, which was well-deserved, but she just couldn’t help herself

Bully her? Jeopardize her future? I think her future is already in the shitter, and she has no one to blame but herself, you halfwit. And you think that’s a mistake? Haley, we’re going to break it down in a simple way so maybe you can understand: a mistake would be something like holding your friend’s card for her while you’re at the bar and using it because it’s next to your own card, realizing the error, apologizing profusely, and replacing the money. THAT is a mistake. This was a calculated shitbrick move. Not to mention, she’s already burned this bridge before.

Haley goes on and on with her bullying rhetoric, blah blah blah, but no one’s really listening. Tyler Harrington points that out and BAM! Captain Save-a-Ho Peter Lavallee steps in from the shadows of the friendzone, at the ready, to defend Little Ms. Princess SJW from dangerous woooooords (o0o0o0o!) What a fucking twatwaffle.

As you can see, Petey knows the friendzone well. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Wonder why?

Oh, got it. Sweet shirt, man.

Anyway, Tyler goes back and puts Petey Picklesmooch in his place (Thanks, Ty) but now we have a conspiracy theorist in our midst! Kaitlyn Auger, donning her tinfoil hat and using her super sleuth critical thinking skills insinuates that Alexandria herself may be in on the gig, because, well, Sheisty Shauna got her pin SOMEHOW, right? Not like being best friends since you were 12 would have anything to do with that…

Kaitlyn, just sit your ass down girl before it gets worse. It doesn’t matter if it was a dollar or a dime or a thousand dollars; she stole from her BEST FRIEND. It’s despicable, and unforgivable. There is nothing on this planet worse than a thief.

But Kaitlyn, too, can’t help herself:

Seems like Kaitlyn has a baby with a junkie! Who’da thunk it, right? She’s a junkie apologist with a proclivity for wearing tin sheeting on her head, which makes the bullshit she’s spewing all the more laughable considering her experience with vein poppers. I have news for you, Kaitlyn, the ONLY piece of shit here (aside from you, Haley, and Petey Picklesmooch, for condoning this) is SHAUNA. She should be shamed. She needs to be brought to justice, and nothing but a good ol’ public shaming, Turtle Style, will do.

Today, after being called out by Alexandria, Sheisty Shauna dragged her zombie ass out to Alexandria’s house to key her mother’s car. What the fuck is it with junkies returning to the scene of their crimes, a la the Palmer Junkie terrorizing the poor veteran, just to inflict further pain and damage because THEY feel wronged? I’m sure Alexandria’s mother has nothing to do with this, yet, she is now bearing the brunt of it. Oh hell no. Turtleriders, we need to stop this one before it escalates. Do your thing.

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