All-Star Criminals

Patriots Lost But At Least We Don’t Have Ratchet Players Like Jermaine Whitehead Threatening To Fuck Our Moms And Shoot Us On Twitter 


The Patriots got their ass beat last night by the most classless organization in the NFL – the Baltimore Ravens. But honestly, it’s the best thing that can happen to this team. Last time the Patriots started 10-0 was 2015 and they ended up finishing 12-4. And we all know what happened the only time the Patriots ever went 16-0. Last year the Patriots lost to five shitty teams on the road and easily won the Super Bowl. So we needed a loss like yesterday because Belichick and Brady are most dangerous when people start talking shit and they get a chip on their shoulder.

Either way, you gotta look at the bright side here – at least no one on the Patriots threatened to kill a bunch of fans and media personalities while calling them racial slurs. And that’s exactly what happened to the pathetic Cleveland Browns after safety Jermaine Whitehead helped the Brownies get their fourth straight loss against the AWFUL Denver Broncos, playing with a backup quarterback. Watch #35 on this play.

Dude sucks. Never heard of him before today because he officially became a household name in the sportball world after logging onto Twitter and going full ratchet on people of ZERO SIGNIFICANCE who had the audacity to criticize his play. It started with reporter and former NFL player Dustin Fox rightfully criticizing the shitty job he did on that play. Here’s how Mainey Maine responded.

Yes, that’s right – a NFL player told a guy whose job it is to analyze his play, that he was a “bitch made ass lil boy,” a “fuck ass cracker,” and invited him to “come get it in blood,” whatever that means.

Imagine anyone on the Patriots ever thinking they could do something like this. It could never, ever happen. We weed these people out quickly, unless they’re the best receiver in the NFL and they wanna help us beat up on the Dolphins.

But also imagine a white player called a black member of the media “boy,” followed by a racial slur of his choice, and threatened to smoke him. This would be the biggest story in the history of the world.

Fox never responded to Mainey Maine’s bitch made ass, but he had some choice words for people who responded to him.

Imagine Devon McCourty threatening to kill a Patriots fan who criticized him on Twitter. Only in Cleveland.

He was literally giving out his address to cracker ass bitches to fight him.

And another dude he threatened to shoot, but the guy absolutely obliterated him with his comeback.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA!! It’s funny because it’s true. Reminds me of this great Jay Cutler shirt they used to sell outside of Wrigley Field.

I regret not buying that.

Oh, and he was replying to DMs on Instagram too.

“Tell ya mama suck my dick for her salty you broke bitch.”

I don’t even know what all that means, but it sounds important.

The most amazing part about this is he actually attended Auburn University, which to me completely destroys the idea that any of these people are “student” athletes. My two year old son could beat him in any competition that involves saying words or thinking.

Then finally this happened a couple hours ago.

His Twitter account was suspended shortly thereafter, which has to be the first time I’ve ever seen a blue checkmark verified professional athlete deplatformed by a social media company. Unfortunately his IG was not suspended, so his bitch ass is still saying crazy shit and threatening fans less aggressively on there.

He actually just took that post down too. Looks like he really learned his lesson. Not sure how many NFL teams are looking for a guy who barely made a roster, is a defensive liability, and threatens fans on social media, but there’s always the Jets I suppose.

Oh well, at least he’s got his t-shirt business.

Oh wait, they took that shit down too.

Look for him to be selling food stamps on Facebook any day now.

The lesson here is simple – if you insist on threatening to kill fans while calling them racial slurs on Twitter, make sure you’re a franchise quarterback, an All-Pro receiver or a first round draft pick. If you’re a marginal guy who’s lucky to be in the league in the first place, it’s probably best to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.



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34 Comment(s)
  • randiguy2006
    November 5, 2019 at 10:32 am

    You cant be serious,
    REMINDER: Patriots employed a multiple murderer. LOL.

  • Diversity is Death
    November 5, 2019 at 8:02 am

    I really wish Lincoln shipped the slaves back to Africa. He wanted to- and he believed they had no place in white society, which clearly they don’t. Look how far our society has fallen. Could anyone have fathomed anyone acting like this in the public eye 50 years ago?

  • You Cant Pay Me To Watch Apes
    November 5, 2019 at 2:58 am

    Fucking ungrateful illiterate moron.With his qualifications this filthy monkey would be lucky to be a street sweeper in the real world. The National Felon League is full of monkey criminals which is why I have not and will not purchase a ticket to any NFL game. These monkies bite the white hand that feeds them. If I want to see an ape jump I will go to the local zoo. 60 percent of the league is black. Where are the woke liberals screaming about that racism. If white fans stay home then the mongoloids starve.

  • Uncle diddler kraft
    November 5, 2019 at 1:16 am

    We just have pedojew’s in jew England the gay state loves us. Don’t be anti-Semitic Judaism allows this rabbis blow babies and spread STD’s all the time, Jew strong.

  • Arliss
    November 5, 2019 at 12:44 am

    Wow , that’s one dum mother fucker. His agent probably quit too

    • R. McDonald
      November 5, 2019 at 6:16 am

      You don’t need an agent to work the drive up window….

  • Ray Patriarca
    He's a sharp cookie
    November 4, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    It’s nice to see he spent a lot of time learning English at Auburn.
    Dudes dumber than a box of rocks.
    You can take the Savage out of the jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of the Savage.

    • Newton
      November 5, 2019 at 3:32 pm

      Its racist to speak English

  • MrSmiley
    November 4, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Pacman Jones part 2.
    Hoodbrain will get you every time.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    November 4, 2019 at 7:45 pm

    Dustin Fox is a white cracker! How dare he question Jermaine’s gumption and athletic acumen!

  • juror seven esq.
    November 4, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Attended Auburn University. Here’s guessing his next stop could be Auburn Correctional Facility in upstate New York.

  • ElJefe72
    November 4, 2019 at 6:41 pm

    Antonio Brown, anyone?

  • Vinnie Severe
    November 4, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    These porch monkeys lack self control
    He probably has a serious cocaine problem
    Thier greatest ambition in life is to fuck a white woman
    I don’t blame them I wouldn’t want to be fucking then black ones either

  • 6ix9ine
    November 4, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    “…Get it in blood” , “on blood.” Thats a reference to him being a memeber of the Bloods street gang. Another thing pro sports teams love for you to aknowledge publicly.

  • Jew England terrorists
    November 4, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    You do have the pedojew kraft who actually diddlers little kids.

  • Corinth Arkadin
    November 4, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    This dude needs someone like Kurt Russell’s Wyatt Earp to drawn down on him.

    “Go ahead and skin that smokewagon, see what happens. Throw down, boy. You gonna do somethin’ or just stand there and bleed?”

    These ‘hood motherfuckers ain’t ever had to face a real man in their lives, and that includes their own fathers.

  • luckyupoorhim
    November 4, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    He was in the NFL he will be just fine. LOL.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 4, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    I’m sure this distinguished POC has all his finances in order and has invested his NFL earnings for long term savings as he prepares for unemployment.

  • henswig
    November 4, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    How quickly we forget about Aaron Hernandez.

  • wearerstuu
    November 4, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    His cock must be big.

  • 9 to 5
    November 4, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    Did anyone send it to him?

  • ace
    November 4, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    I thought T-Boy was all about saying whatever you want to people?
    You know, it’s just words… Guess not when you don’t want it to be.
    Hypocritical losers.

    • P Disguisee
      November 4, 2019 at 4:02 pm

      Slow ya role big guy….HUGE difference between free speech and online threats to commit heinous crimes….pshhhh

    • Tyree
      November 4, 2019 at 5:59 pm

      Ace I enjoyed your mother’s tongue up my ass last night

      • Ace
        November 4, 2019 at 8:04 pm

        Yah, well your mothers tongue was, like, ummm, licking my toes! So there!

  • higher education
    November 4, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    ya he’ll be selling food stamps on Facebook from his crack-house!

  • hartf811
    General Robert E.
    November 4, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    Plenty of world class ratchets on the Patriots. But if you are not Belicheckized ( no drugs, talking shit to the media, acting like a douche on the field of off) early you don’t last long (Right Michael Bennett!)

  • tim Fenton
    Mr. Stereotype
    November 4, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    CAN you embarrass yourself in Obama culcha? My God! WHAT class would be dumbed down enough for that fool?

  • Dr Brule
    November 4, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    i hope someone pops that zit

  • Mr. Bubba
    November 4, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    Just another A-Aron in the making, ya dig?

  • Jimmy K
    November 4, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    I don’t like african americans

    • Dey Be Fightin In Snoops Hood
      November 5, 2019 at 3:03 am

      No one does. Not even the newly imported wetbacks.

  • Aaron Hernandez
    November 4, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    Forgot about me already, huh?

    • randiguy2006
      November 5, 2019 at 10:33 am

      For real.

      This may be TBs dumbest take yet.

      And that saying something!

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