Pregnant Chick In The Middle Of Hoodrat Donnybrook Feeding Frenzy Is So Springfield It Hurts
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It’s summer in Springfield, which can only mean one thing – World Star tryouts. Check out these hagbags fighting over who stole whose stamps on the South Side:
Oh man, wait until these chicks apply to grad school. This tape is definitely gonna keep them out of Harvard.
Everyone knows that in Springfield a fight cannot commence unless a pregnant chick lays down the rules of engagement:
Unfortunately for her she was rolling with the wrong crew. You can’t win a Springfield street fight if you show up with a pregnant chick, some EBT-Rex in Walmart shoes, and GI Jane with a cast:
And can we just talk about this gentleman for a moment?
I don’t know that guy, but I know Chico Suave has seen some shit over the years. That man right there is an OG. He’s seen ratchets come and go like the tide. And there was a 0.0% chance he wasn’t gonna be there to witness this ho-down.
Anyway, the fights were pretty one sided. Team prego chick gave it their best shot, but they were clearly overmatched. The chick in the black tank top pretty much got merced by the broad in the red shirt. And look who was right in the middle of it, trying to get black shirt out of there:
Yup. The expectant mother. You know that kid’s in good hands. I’m sure the taxpayers are gonna get a great return on their investment as they pay for the bare necessities for this child until he or she turns 18 and the cycle repeats itself.
According to the comments the pregnant chick’s name on Facebook is Jaii Hova:
And considering she lives in Springfield this is very likely her real name. And it’s perfectly normal that she put herself out there in the middle of a hoodrat feeding frenzy, even though she’s about to spit a human being out of her meat wallet. My apologies – she’s about to spit ANOTHER human being out of her stench trench. Because from the looks of her Facebook page this is far from her first child.
Oh, and guess who were favorite sportball team is?
Yea, the dooshnozzle rule applies to chicks too apparently.
When Jaii isn’t getting involved in fights while pregnant, you can find her clubbin all over Springfield
Or preparing herself for a drilling to remember, courtesy of one of Springfield’s finest yogurt slingers, while wearing matching Jordans:
Anyway, the whole fight looked like a third world country in the middle of a civil war after the UN dropped off some bags of flour and grain and got the fuck out of there.
After that fight was over it was time for round 2. This time the chick in the cast stepped up to the plate. Didn’t go too well at first:
And look who was on the sidelines doing crowd control and taking bets:
Chico Suave. Legend.
Anyway, Casty McGee was getting rocked at first:
But it turns out she was just biding her time to get some nice counters in:
Next thing you know you look over and another fight has broken out. Except once again it’s not much of a fight, and the lioness is devouring her pray as those lower on the food chain anxiously await their turn to pick the carcass.
Turns out the chick in the red who was involved in the first fight was a local legend named Ta-Neesha Jackson:
And you pretty much know when you give your child a first name that contains a hyphen in it, that their claim to fame in life will be winning Chico Suave a lot of money on hoodrat fights. As you can see, she warned bitches not to fuck with her, but their fleek game was weak, so they bout to catch dem hands, ya heard? On dawgs.
The post fight analysis was thoughtful and brought necessary closure for all parties involved:
The fact that black shirt’s street name is “Patty Mayonnaise” is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.
The moral of the story is, never, ever go to Springfield.
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