All-Star Criminals

Pregnant Springfield Cuntasaurus Stabs A Rival Probably Over A Guy, Kicks Over Baby Carriage With Crotch Fruit Inside


This happened last month in Springfield and I never got around to blogging about it because of life and whatnot, but it’s better late than never. And this woman deserves to be Turtleboy famous more than anyone.

I apologize for our tardiness on this one fam.

You expect and deserve more from us.

Stabbing a ho because the dirty dick you’re fighting over chose her over you isn’t normally something we’d blog about since it’s just another Tuesday afternoon in Springfield. But this crazy cuntasaurus kicked over the Goddamn baby stroller with the freshly fired out poon polyp inside. And one fact that Masslive forgot to point out…..

Was that she’s got a crotch fruit up the spout too.

There’s not really much that needs to be said here. I just couldn’t live with the fact that a pregnant poundcake could kick over a baby carriage with a semen demon inside of it and not end up on Turtleboy.

Don’t worry though, she’s only 18, so her criminal record for the teen years somehow won’t factor into her sentencing, and she’ll probably be out before she can fire that fuck nugget out of her baby cannon. Fuck you and the cock goblin who named you Nyarilyn.



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31 Comment(s)
  • MrSmiley
    November 6, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    Them tittays gonna be cleaning the floor before she’s of drinking age at this rate. Yiikes.

  • IHateRatchets
    November 6, 2019 at 11:03 am

    I have been sitting here trying to figure out how the fuck her name is pronounced. O_o

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    November 6, 2019 at 10:24 am

    What is it about Springfield that gravity works harder only on tiddies?

  • Silencio Dogood
    November 6, 2019 at 2:22 am

    Someone needs to tell her that Glade isn’t a deodorant.

  • F.U. Bailey
    November 6, 2019 at 1:27 am

    Isn’t it Attempted Murder when you stab someone? I wonder if a woman will even get jail time for a stabbing in 2019 America…

    That first name is painful to the ears and eyes.

  • Meeeaaahh
    November 5, 2019 at 7:45 pm


  • Fed Up
    November 5, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    I wonder if she’s related to the Cotto twins from Springfield. The Cotto twins and another new American shot a person in a pickup truck the other night on I 91 in Springfield. The glock gun was stolen of course. One Hugh problem for the new Americans was that a police car was behind them. I would love to know if they knew the pickup truck person or was it road rage. The pickup truck person is in a coma.

    • Meeeaaahh
      November 5, 2019 at 8:27 pm


  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    November 5, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    Pig… Big old Pig Bitch! And she looks like she smells like a Pig Bitch too

  • anonymous
    November 5, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    Just brown people doing brown people things. Nothing to see here.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 5, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    That is one disgusting looking spic. Bet her clam smells like goya blackbeans

    • LizWarren'sClam
      November 5, 2019 at 9:43 pm

      Spic Tormentor is the best name.

  • Cheddah
    November 5, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    The bitch is pure evil. No excuse on this one.. Needs to do at least 5 years or more in Framingham.. Wait til they hear this story too..

  • Meaaaahhhh
    November 5, 2019 at 4:13 pm


  • Alan Bohdiewicz
    AJ Alphonse
    November 5, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Wow, those two selfies, from glam to ham..

  • Crispy C
    November 5, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    DCF needs to start claiming babies before they are born. Just have the doctor deliver this baby, wrap it up and hand it off to a case worker in the delivery room.

    I want to see what the dad looks like (and his criminal record too).

    • Linda
      November 5, 2019 at 5:53 pm

      Good luck finding the sperminator. He gone.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 5, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    Even in her mugshot she has the ‘duck lips’ (aka DSLs). I guess after taking so many selfies with DLs they just stay in that form. She looks like the Debbie Wasserman Schultz of the beaner world.

  • Ewwww...lips
    November 5, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    Why is she so sweaty and greasy looking? And what is wrong with her GD lips!! Id slap those lips right off her face. Even if we were friends id pour bleach in my eyes before ever having to look at her again.

    I can smell the salami and empanadas from here.

  • Meeeaahh
    November 5, 2019 at 2:58 pm


    • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
      Luke Fondleberg
      November 5, 2019 at 3:40 pm

      Resort Activities Director! What’s on the schedule for today?

    • Surprised Flapjack
      November 5, 2019 at 6:10 pm

      Still trying to figure out what this means.


  • Lisa flood
    November 5, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    This b**** probably sweat it out being on turtleboy 4 weeks, then boom she’s famous that’s f****** funny I’m glad you waited to post!!!

  • Christopher Lettiere
    November 5, 2019 at 2:40 pm

    Remember Guys, get out and vote today!

    Personally, I won’t vote for anyone with a D next to their name; they’re all complicit in child grooming/open borders.

    Vote Red!

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    November 5, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    These overblown charges need to be dropped! The victim and the baby are fine! Nyarilyn is a person of color! And a woman! And I assume, a democrat! Cut her some slack!

  • hartf811
    dirty bastards
    November 5, 2019 at 2:19 pm

    If she was in a pile on the floor with steam coming off of her she couldn’t look more like steaming shit savage. Thank you Teddy Kennedy!

  • Ray Patriarca
    Is this really a surprise?
    November 5, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    Subhuman shit.
    But wait !!
    Let’s celebrate diversity !

  • Judge dread
    November 5, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    she has forsaken her right as a parent.

  • stopthepresses
    November 5, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    After reading that headline. Or story-

    “What if this is as good as it gets….”
    Melvin Udall

  • Rep. HUNT
    November 5, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    Bitch gonna be able to shit out 5 or 6 more welfare dependents.
    Her sentence needs to be having her tubes tied in order to cut down on future hoodrats.

    • Meeeeaaaaahhhhh
      November 5, 2019 at 5:37 pm


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