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Providence’s most notorious strip club is shut down until further notice thanks to a little extra-extra going on in the back room.

Thank God the streets are safe from people engaging in consensual sex for a negotiated fee. Had the Johns just taken them out to dinner and pretended to give a shit about what they were saying so they could play hide the weapon of ass destruction in Mycraq, then it would be perfectly OK. But God forbid they just cut to the chase and get right down to business. That stuff only happens in uncivilized countries like Holland.

Ironically the cops got wise to this after investigating a stripper’s allegation of sexual assault by a customer in a backroom.

Oops!!

And even though the dancers should’ve known that 5-0 was lingering around they still couldn’t resist to offer up a complementary shining of the womb raider.

Damn, the wage gap is real for women of color. How’s the washed up Becky gonna charge $300 and the spicy looking Latina only go for $100? Das racist!

Then there was stripper #3, who was much, much less vague about her intentions.

No beating around the bush with her. Gimme $300 and I’m gonna give you a pole polishing to write home about.

Meanwhile the manager dinno nuffin.

Bitch please. You own a strip club in Providence. This is EXACTLY how you run your business. I just assumed it was happening and no one gave a shit, but evidently the murdering has been slowing down so they have time to put operation blue balls in place instead. This dude interviews people next to paintings of hookers flashing their gerber servers.

Ain’t shit going on in that club he doesn’t know about.

I couldn’t find Neigh Rivera on Facebook, because everybody knows Latinas are the hardest people to find on Facebook. I almost don’t even bother because they almost never use real names. It’s like ratchet Darwinism.

But the Becky’s were much easier. This is Melissa McNeely in all her glory.

That walking commercial for Hep-C was BORN to be a stripper. I can smell the Newport Lights and the stench of failure from here.

According to the Facebook machine she’s married.

To a guy who might be the biggest douchebag I’ve ever seen my entire life.

If there’s one thing that guy knows about it’s how to use money to plow your way through the GED express.

Meanwhile, miss “anything you want” has some impressive Google trophies of her own. Like that time her and some shady dude named Marquette from New Haven tried to get into an adult sex store with her two week old crotch fruit, were told children couldn’t come in, so she left the child unattended in a freezing car in the middle of January and got arrested.

Oh, and they both had their bails raised because she had so many other Google trophies in multiple states, and he was (to the shock of no one) involved in human trafficking, and was wearing an ankle bracelet.

On Thursday, the judge raised the bond on both Hoffman and Riggsbee significantly after hearing from the bail commissioner about both of their prior convictions. Hoffman’s bond was raised to $100,000 after the judge learned that she has several prior convictions in multiple states. Riggsbee’s bond was raised to $150,000 for his previous convictions, among them, promoting human trafficking. Police said Riggsbee was still wearing an ankle monitor from one of his previous convictions at the time of his arrest.

Anyway, if any of these three lovely ladies wants to come on Turtleboy Live Saturday night we would LOVE to have them on. Stripper appearances on the Live show are a thing of legends. We look forward to hearing from them.