Does this name ring a bell?
Dawson Boston (real name), AKA the Pube Face Killah, makes his much anticipated return to Turtleboy Sports. Last time we heard from him he was getting visits from secret service after threatening to kill the President, then messaged us pretending to be both a police officer and a lawyer (from his own account), and vowed massive deformation lawsuits because he said he’s not really a drug dealer.
Turns out he was a drug dealer the whole time after all. And he must’ve been enough of a piece of shit that the feds were watching him too. Never doubt the turtle.
You may also recall that the last we heard from him he was on the live show threatening to kill himself so that Uncle Turtleboy ends up in jail. Sadly he’s still breathing and was free to sell poison to vulnerable people.
He’s taken down the videos of him and his homeys flashing guns on the Facebook machine.
But screenshots are forever. And so is this.
Since we last heard from him and he insisted that he wasn’t a drug dealer he’s been very productive. For instance, he’s been working on his burgeoning rap career, and performed at a show in Manchvegas. Tickets were wicked expensive and hard to get.
He’s got a new YouTube channel where he releases his latest hits which feature him sitting on beds in cheap motel rooms counting drug money.
And instead of saving his money he decided to spend it all on this lovely sportball ensemble.
Right down to the shoes.
The levels of ghettofication you have to crawl through in order to acquire that outfit is something I can’t even comprehend right now.
And if you’re ever feeling like you haven’t amounted to much in life just remind yourself that you could’ve ended up as a background dancer in one of Dawson Boston’s rap videos while he’s wearing that same outfit.
You can tell his rap career is going places since he already bagged himself a Rochester 6.
His newest shit shows that he’s apparently been adopted by some black dude named Nino Brown who likely uses him for free drugs.
Meanwhile he’s lecturing others about the dangers of drugs.
Translation – I’m too much of a pussy to actually sample the shit that I sell.
And finally he did a 90 second infomercial lecturing “y’all ho’s out here” about how to have respect for themselves.
“Get your shit right, get a job, get your life together.”
Yea ladies, you should all become drug dealers and YouTube rappers like the Pube Face Killah.
“Do you guys not want a good boyfriend? You’re never gonna find a good guy out there. You ain’t never gonna find a guy like me.”
How will the world of va-jean ever survive without Dawson Boston’s magic mushroom tip?
“I came from the mother fucking bottom.”
No, you’re about to BE the bottom in prison fuck boi. I’d invite you on the live show, but I don’t think the feds let you do that in prison.
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