WTF

PURR Cat Cafe Is Finally Closed Because Diane Kelly Forgot To Pay Her Rent But She Got Drunk, Is Posting As Cats Again, And Is Trying To Scam On The Way Out

 

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To this day I still believe that the PURR Cat Cafe saga I covered two years ago this week was the biggest dumpster fire I’ve ever covered. I won’t rehash the whole thing, but I will urge you to catch up by reading PART ONE, PART TWO, PART THREE, and PART FOUR. Long story short, crazy box wine lady opens up cat cafe in Brighton, forgets to get cats, beds, or anything else cats need, steals pictures of cats from Google and posts them on her business page, starts a GoFundMe to fund the entire business, doesn’t have anything remotely resembling a business plan, tells organization donating the cats to fuck off after blowing donated money on superfluous bullshit, threatens multiple people using her business Facebook page while pretending so speak as a cat, pretends that the cats refer to her as “The Crazy Hooman,” calls good advice “bullying,” holds multiple open houses that she doesn’t show up for, tries to get an employees to illegally solicit the MSPCA for free cats while pretending to be a rescue, slut shames her former GM Kathleen who she never paid $2K using PURR’s business page, pretended all her employees who quit were still working there, tried to fix the bad public PR by holding a book night hosted by an anti-semite, and famously gave us the most infamous line in Turtleboy history:

WE HAVE NO CATS KATHLEEN!!!

Well that was a wild ride.

I need to smoke a joint.

Alright, I’m back.

Miraculously PURR Cat Cafe actually opened.

Then two months later Diane was back on Turtleboy after she was found passed the fuck out in PURR’s bathroom by the Boston Police, and it was reported that some cats (which she somehow acquired) might have run away.

The victim (Kelly) was able to state that she “drank a lot today, probably a gallon of wine.” Officers asked when she last stopped drinking to which she replied, “I never stopped.” Officers observed multiple empty bottles of wine on the floor also with an open bottle of Cat Medication (Amprolium). It should be noted the only items located in the exit foyer area were the victim’s purse, bottles of wine, the cat medication, and a broom. The victim refused to answer any questions as to why the cat medication was located next to the bottles of wine. 

Yet somehow PURR Cat Cafe survived.

Until last month.

“My understanding is that the cafe is now closed,” said a trustee of NTABOS, the realty trust listed on the sign on Purr’s door, who did not want to be identified by name. From Boston Municipal Court records, it appears that Peter Davos of NTABOS sued Purr’s owner, Diane Kelly, for failing to pay rent. The judge ruled in Davos’ favor, and an execution for possession of commercial property was issued on October 4.

Diane Kelly forgot to pay her bills? Ya don’t say. It’s not like she has a long and documented history of being a human shitstorm with the organizational skills of Dennis the Menace.

Yet despite knowing that she was going to be permanently closing Diane tried one more time for a cash grab with a silent auction to raise money for a business that she knew would not be there any longer.

And yes, she did use the phrase “Boston Strong” as a marketing ploy to con people out of money. Because at this point she might as well take a steamy dump on people affected by that tragedy on her way out. What does she have to lose?

Then it looks like they had a sale on Franzia at Wegmans because next thing you know the cats had taken over PURR’s Facebook page once again.

It was complete with all the shenanigans from two years ago – hilarious misspellings (crusifiction sounds like a section of the library on a Carnival cruise ship), completely unprofessional calling out of customers by name, praise for Diane from her cats, and of course…

Meow. Meow. Purr.

And guess who still hasn’t gotten paid?

Pray for Kathleen. Even though she blocked me and did an interview with everyone but Turtleboy.

 

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19 Comment(s)
  • Corinth Arkadin
    October 29, 2019 at 4:59 pm

    I feel bad for the cats tho.

  • catseye
    October 29, 2019 at 11:31 am

    Cats have microchips in their eyes for surveillance you fucking rookie ass 101s. Thanks a lot Jack Off.

    • Dick Scratcher
      October 29, 2019 at 11:57 am

      Off you fuck, you lunatic.

  • CrispyC
    October 29, 2019 at 11:19 am

    Another crazy cat lady. Just what everyone needs!

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    October 29, 2019 at 10:32 am

    What in the white privilege is this woman doing? I was so disappointed when her dumpster fire flames began to dwindle. Alas, ratchet gonna ratchet.

    • TortugaNiño
      October 29, 2019 at 10:44 am

      its the wine… wait til she goes full boozebag and switches to the hard stuff. it burns better.

      • DudeRanchStripClub
        October 29, 2019 at 10:47 am

        She would be the only person I would watch doing Fist Amendment Audits. “Accountability PURR All”.

        • ncfoothillbilly
          October 29, 2019 at 1:40 pm

          “Fist Amendment Audits”? Are you saying you want to audit her ‘litter box’? That could be CATastrophic.

          • Startled Pancake
            October 29, 2019 at 5:01 pm

            “Fist”

            Bwammmmummmahahahhahahah, heh heh heh, that’s cool.

          • DudeRanchStripClub
            October 29, 2019 at 9:10 pm

            I stand by what I said.

  • Ground Breaking Stuff
    October 29, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Great story, this is why TB is the only real news source on the web worth reading.
    You don’t see Masslive or the MSM tackling these hard hitting topics because they suck.
    Cats rule dogs drool!

  • KOREANCATCUCK
    October 29, 2019 at 10:03 am

    IS IT COINCIDENCE THAT ASIANS ARE NOTED FOR THEIR VERY SMALL PENISES AND CATS? I THINK NOT AND WHY DO THEY HAVE TO EAT THE CAT AFTER? AAAHHHH BECOW THEY WAN NEW PUSSY AN KEN GET IT. AMERICA WIT SMALL COK CANT GET NEW WAA HAF TA GET WA CAT AN FOW IN LOUVE.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      October 29, 2019 at 10:28 am

      Engrish, prease…

  • Y
    October 29, 2019 at 10:01 am

    What a dumpster fire!

    Speaking of fire, check-out this video (fast forward about 50 seconds):

  • Dick Scratcher
    October 29, 2019 at 9:49 am

    Limerick of the day……

    Diane Kelly’s a crazy old bat
    Who acts and behaves like a cat,
    Then she lies on her back
    And she opens her crack
    And shoves bottles of wine up her twat.

    Dick Scratcher, aged 52 (in cat years)

  • Dick LaBone
    October 29, 2019 at 9:45 am

    Good pussy is hard to find…

  • I see dumb people
    October 29, 2019 at 9:39 am

    WE HAVE NO CATS KATHLEEN !!! MEOW. MEOW. PURR.

  • Heard it on the Internet
    October 29, 2019 at 9:25 am

    I heard she puts catnip in her asshole and lets the cats lick it out of her.

    • Dick Scratcher
      October 29, 2019 at 9:44 am

      I just saw that on the internet. So it must be true.

      She also shoves scratch-posts up her cavernous vagina.

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