All-Star Criminals

Rhode Island Corrections Officer Fired For Porking Half Of Gen Pop Somehow Starts Working As Lyft Driver, Gets Called To Pick Up Former Inmate


Evidently you can get fired as a CO in Rhode Island for banging inmates and get a job as a Lyft Driver like nothing ever happened.

Yes, that’s right – homeboy got called to pick up a former inmate!! Can’t make this shit up.

Collins Umoh was just arrested in May.

Rhode Island State Police have arrested a correctional officer accused of engaging in sexual relations with several inmates. Collins Umoh, 40, faces seven felony counts for violating an ordinance that forbids sexual relations between inmates and correctional employees. Umoh allegedly had sexual relations with three different female inmates on seven different occasions, said police. Investigators say the encounters took place at the Gloria McDonald Women’s Facility at the Adult Correctional Institutions between July 2017 and August 2018. Umoh has been a correctional officer for 11 years. Police go on to say that in August 2018, Umoh was placed on paid administrative leave when allegations of the misconduct were first reported. A spokesperson with the Department of Corrections confirmed the leave, and the director said it was a high priority to keep ACI inmates protected from sexual misconduct.

And it looks like a couple other female guests of his can confirm that his “super pretty” ass made CO Pornstache look like Mother Theresa.

“Pussy is a hell of a drug.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

Our sources also tell us that he pursued a nursing degree and was working as an RN at a rehab place, but seems to have been fired from there after the charges came out.

But for some reason Lyft’s Google machine is broken, because they’ll hire anyone, even if they’re being charged with sexual assault.


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24 Comment(s)
  • Keep Trying
    November 8, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    Oddly, I was struck by the fact that — faults and all — this guy at least is willing to try to earn a living. Works as a corrections officer and then tries to make it as a ride share driver. How many others would say the system is racist, find a way to get on public assistance, and then supplement the public assistance by doing other things under the table? I hope this guy can get his life back on track.

  • Dr. Ed
    November 8, 2019 at 9:12 am

    In fairness, an arrest is NOT a conviction, so it goes back to the judge not imposing a “don’t drive for Lyft” condition on his bail.

    As it is now, he could sue Lyft if they fired him, throw in “racism” and hed win…

  • Jack
    Sir Charles
    November 7, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    Charles Barkley family member?

  • Realestatepup
    November 7, 2019 at 11:31 am

    My father worked in corrections for over 20 years and ended his career as a Captain. I constantly heard stories of male and female CO’s being “walked off” the premises for having sex with inmates.
    Never understood why men were allowed to be CO’s in female prisons and vice-versa. Granted there will be gay CO’s and it can still happen, but the temptation of being with the same people day in and day out for 8, 10, 12 hours…and the inmates having nothing else to do with their time but find out ways to con something out of someone. Recipe for disaster. And same-sex CO’s will not be getting any inmates pregnant.
    The danger to a female CO in a men’s prison is extremely high as well, and generally speaking a woman CO is going to be physically inferior in strength to any inmates.
    Never could figure out why anyone would want to do it.

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      November 7, 2019 at 11:49 am

      Because that would be sexist! You probably don’t even support Drag Queen Story Hour. smh

      • ncfoothillbilly
        November 7, 2019 at 3:03 pm

        Id support a story of a queen being dragged for an hour.

        • murdochpatsymcreynolds
          November 7, 2019 at 3:30 pm


        • JJ@AOL.COM
          November 7, 2019 at 4:51 pm

          Wooooo NC, faaakkinnn zingahhh!

    • We walk the toughest beat
      November 7, 2019 at 11:34 pm

      The job isn’t for everyone. I’ve witnessed someone completing the academy and quitting before their first week was overwith.
      Suicide rates are sadly very high in this job classification, along with divorce rates.
      We don’t get the respect that street cops do and we deal with a community where every person you deal with is a felon and we do it empty handed.
      Stress, exposure to potentially deadly diseases, risk of assault, undermanning at many institutions, getting Monday morning Q-backed every time something goes down, all of these factors and more help to contribute to one the shortest life expectancies of any profession.
      Our average lifespan is 58. Some beat the average and some never get that far.
      For most of us, the goal is to make retirement and hopefully beat the averages.
      As far as mixing genders, there are some who can pull it off and do a respectable job, others that milk it for all it’s worth with the batting of the eyes and a plan to skate their whole way through and still more who have no business being put in such a position of trust and responsibility.
      Nobody hears much positive news when a CO is mentioned and it’s sad.
      They’re either in trouble or they kill themselves before John Q Citizen hears a thing.

      To any of my Brother and Sister Officers reading this, I hope you clock in and clock out without any ill effects, today and for your entire careers.

      (Epstein didn’t kill himself, that’s my professional opinion.)

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 7, 2019 at 10:44 am

    I didn’t realize you could use stolen cars to drive Lyft

  • Cynical Twit
    November 7, 2019 at 10:13 am

    No snarky headline??? WTF!!! That’s why I come to this page…must have to do with the subject’s…ahem…skin color

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    November 7, 2019 at 7:35 am

    “I wanna be mad about this so bad, but I respect the hustle.” -Me at 18

  • Allah Board
    November 7, 2019 at 7:15 am

    Definitely drives for both services, they all do. For every good one trying to make a living, there’s a shitbag who sneaks under the radar. And this guy’s a shitbag for sure

  • WeRFucked
    November 7, 2019 at 6:56 am

    Being a CO has to be the worst job there is. At least he took advantage of the benefits at his location.
    Brain dead?
    Figure the cost per mile to own and operate a 5-series BMW. =A ($.$$)
    Now figure the income per mile you make giving Uber/Lyft rides to people. =B (.$$)
    Subtract A from B to figure out how much money you are losing.
    Just plain dumb.

  • sick of judges letting scum out
    November 7, 2019 at 5:29 am

    is there some isolated island that we can dump people like this,give them a can of water ,some seeds to plant for food .and never to be heard from again

    • Pedojew’s
      November 7, 2019 at 7:39 am

      The kike Epstein died call the diddler kraft.

    • hartf811
      dirty bastards
      November 7, 2019 at 8:37 am

      Yes. It is called the Dominican Republic. But we have to stop letting the rats back in under the wire!

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      November 7, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      A few years back I watched a documentary about something a long the lines of what you said.
      Washington state has an island where they send sexual deviants after they are released from prison. It does not matter if you did your full term, they still send you to ripper island indefinitely. People were crying about how un~constitutional it is. I wish they had more facilities like that. The pnw is a beautiful but fucked up place. They also have more serial killers in pnw area than all of the world combined.

  • Russmo
    November 7, 2019 at 3:35 am

    What a handsome silver back

  • Warden Wermer
    November 7, 2019 at 12:36 am

    Black, Dumb and Infected is no way to go through life, son.

  • Jer Z Wiseass
    November 7, 2019 at 12:30 am

    I feel sorry for the BMW.

    • hartf811
      Aristotle Onassis
      November 7, 2019 at 8:39 am

      Love hoodboogers buying 3rd owner lease turn-ins. Keeps the lease rates down on my Mercedes every other year.

  • Judge dread
    November 6, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    It’s only a matter of time before he engages in some type of ratchet activity. So much for those background checks. All the San Francisco faggots and gender queer idiots working as this slugpump company are so completely detached from reality. That being said Lyft is better than Uber but not by much…….

  • Top turtle fan
    November 6, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    If he’s driving on Lyfts platform, he’s more than likely on Uber’s as eell. Contact their ‘saftey’ teams and they will remove him pronto. They DO NOT fuck around anymore.

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