Smiles And Sunshine

RIP To The The Turtleboy Race Car, Murdered At Seekonk Speedway Yesterday With A Cheapshot

We ALWAYS win, but we like to do it the right way – ya know, with a smidgen of dignity.








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Back in October, we wrote this blog debuting the Turtleboy race car running its first enduro race over at Seekonk Speedway


It’s a re-engineered-in-America Nissan Maxima, built and driven by local driving Legend, Kenny Kline


And he would’ve clinched that inaugural run, too, if it weren’t for the dude in #057 who did him dirty

and knocked him into a wall on the last lap.




Kenny had the Turtlemobile out at Seekonk again yesterday. He was poised to win the enduro race and exact revenge all in one felled swoop when the chud in #057 goes and pulls ANOTHER bitch move, knocking the Turtlemobile out of commission.

It happens around the :32 second mark:

Now, contact isn’t expressly forbidden in enduro racing, but it’s frowned upon by decent people. Especially when it’s not a simple rub, but an all out smash. That’s how you hurt people, and that’s when it’s no longer fun and games.


Here is where #057 whacks the Turtlemobile in the left rear, basically a PIT maneuver the fuzz use

causing Kenny to spin into a cluster of cars, crashing in the process

The Turtlemobile continues to spin on through

before Kenny’s able to regain control right before the corner, near the grass.


Meanwhile #057 in the Elizabeth Warren mobile (as Uncle Turtleboy coined it) goes on to take the race

by basically giving what equates to a sucker punch.


Here’s another angle of the fracas:


Word around the track is, the douchecanoe who drives #057, Kyle Raposa

Image may contain: 1 person, hat, beard, closeup and indoor

who has an affinity for flat-brimmed hats


is a cheater:

Now, I dunno if he is or if he isn’t. I do know that hitting your opponent in what amounts to sticking your foot out to trip them is a shit and shameful thing to do, and there is no pride in winning that way.

Kenny assures us that although the original Turtleboy race car is totaled, the Turtlemobile 2.0 will be up and running again in a jiffy. Can’t wait to see it ripping around Seekonk again – and this time, putting suckers like Mr. #057 in their place.


RIP Turtlemobile, we hardly knew ya


















9 Comment(s)
  • Sloppy
    November 27, 2017 at 9:37 am

    For the next Turtleboy race car, I propose the 1983 Ford LTD Country Squire, with the motor swapped out for a 460 big-block.
    Try crashing into one of those and see how that works out for ya, flat brim boy…

  • ganesha
    November 26, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    Well, someone has to say it.

    A TurtleRider finally met up with his “car-ma”.

    Hah! I kill me!

    I’m here all week, try the veal, and tip the waitstaff!

  • Kevin lynch
    November 26, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Bury the Turtlebitch mobile. No respect for any loyal turtleriders. If you follow the turtle you are a has been paper gangster couch tough guy.
    Every turtlerider is a bitch. Turtleriders are self serving complaining bitches. You are all FAKE self RIGHTOUES PUNKS who don’t know how to mind your fucking business.
    I seen you tough guys attacking the family of the guy who the cops killed. Disgraceful. Totally a punk bitch move. One day you r going to fuck with the wrong one and they will probably put a bullet in your COWARD forehead and your widow can then resell your firearms to the place where all the manly scared men without theirfirearms goes to play man at the gunstore.

    • Maine Vein
      November 26, 2017 at 7:18 pm

      Oh Kevin kevin kevin,
      You must be happy being spoon fed be insta copy new outlets with no aggressive investigative journalism. But are you saying you expect the journalist now should be in the fray? That is not how it works, but I am sure the majority of my other turtle peers would play the same as I. Come up to me with some BS, see how cowardly I turn out to be. No threat, no meme, just see. Tend to win most of the time. Have I lost? Of course, but I cannot say I left a loss without giving my all. Grew up battling in Dot, JP, and W Quincy. Tell me son, are you the one from New Braintree? Maybe Tony D will help you. lol Dickhead.

    • KafkaKitteh
      November 27, 2017 at 8:03 am

      Ahh…Kevin, you did real good in school, didn’t you?

    • msheadkracker
      November 27, 2017 at 8:27 am

      Kevin Lynch-washed up has been who sides with a child molester that sexts teenagers and thinks he’s attractive. Get a life fat boy! You’re a nothing, you don’t know what freedom of the press and freedom of speech are, and you have a micro peen. It’s that big ass belly that makes it look even more inverted, go see a doctor for it. FRFR

    • The Rant Queen
      November 27, 2017 at 10:52 am

      So much butthurt in one paragraph. Of course you know we aren’t self serving. By being tax payers we are community serving people. Not by choice, granted, but still we’re paying for your baby mama’s welfare and your SSI checks. So EXCUSE us for being a little self righteous some times. We need to feel some kind of positive way about ourselves, when we have leeches like you (and the ppl you defend) taking our money and using it to buy iPhones and Chicago Bulls Brims, while claiming poverty on your GFM and “FoodStamp 4 Sale” FB posts.

      That family you speak so highly of, rioted in a hospital. Threw trashcans around and threatened cops/doctors, screaming and disrupting other patients. That was trashy and obnoxious. Acting like a herd of rabid gorillas ain’t bringing their criminal offspring back. There was nothing negative said about the deceased kid, just that his family and friends acted like total ingrates. I get it, everyone grieves differently, but normal people don’t riot in a hospital and start a damn mosh pit. Period.

      Grow up, get a job, because you, sir, are the ones who are self serving and self righteous. Not Turtleriders.

  • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
    November 26, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    Of fucking course the dirty driver was non-white.

  • Johnny Rocket
    November 26, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    Obviously a hit job. Well, if they allowed it to happen now then they have to allow it to happen again. If this guy gets to more than five laps, I will be surprised. Or words and rules don’t matter ?

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