All-Star Criminals

Skeletor The Junkie Sends Unsolicited Jerk Off Video To Girl Half His Age -Because Life At The Halfway House Be Hard 

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

 

I always sit back, look at my happy little family, and think about what my life is desperately lacking.

Dick pics.

My life is missing dick pics. But not just any dick pics – Unsolicited junkie dick pics

Sorry Mr. Turtlegirl and Turtlebabies. Momma has a hunger and the only cure for it is this-here Smack Skellington out of Lawrence.

 [Hurl]

Mark Fichera really knows all about what the ladies want. It doesn’t matter if he looks like a Charlie Brown figure that Sid from Toy Story melted down. 

Jesus fuck! They’re multiplying! 

I’m sure this broad has 100% been sent his flesh finger. I’m  almost positive she shares my enthusiasm when I say his mangled mug makes me moist. 

Like this kind of moist. 

I plan on trying to fit this in every blog I write. It triggers more people than free speech.

We all know his type. The weirdo sending you stranger danger friend requests or messaging you how hot you are. If you make the mistake of adding said psycho or reading/responding to their messages they launch. 

They alllllways send you a wang photo with the balls shaved as if it makes it actually looks bigger. (It doesn’t.)

I’ll be honest to all you creeps out there. If you’re shaving your balls we automatic assume you have nothing better to do but deal with razor burn and whack it to BBW porn. 

Track Mark decided to take the unsolicited dick pic cliche one step further. He sent a girl, who is half his age, a video of him whacking off.

 

 

 

Why would anyone think that accepting a compliment, and offerings of undergarments, from some rando means “please whack your AIDS pickle because that’s what every woman wants.” This fucking sleaze bag has a DAUGHTER! 

I’m not sure what we are expecting here. Track Mark gloats about invading the inboxes of unsuspecting women who cross his pass and uses memes to expresss he’s wookin pa nub.

Maybe we can’t blame Track Mark! He might have just been looking to blow off some steam after constantly relapsing on booze and heroin! 

Being clean for five minutes is EXHAUSTING. 

This calls for a celebratory Dunks shitter selfie!

… Or the picture party for his fake workman’s comp claim filed for an accident when he was probably on the junk. 

You all know our theory of what a Facebook sober person is? A relapsed junkie trying to bullshit his way in to unearned kudos. 

I’m just wondering where the selfie is for all.of his Google trophies? 

Track Mark shouldn’t have been surprised when the girl’s friend heard about what happened and put this nasty ass on blast. 

You’d think Track Mark would feel some sense of shame and issue an apology… nah. He went after Jeremy, the dude calling him out, as being jealous. 

Sending your druggie cock to a girl who didn’t ask for it is “more action.” Right. 

So a drugged-out queef who takes the bus, doesn’t have a job, is trying to swindle workman’s comp, has time to go to 900 meetings a day because he’s been sober for a hot minute and is so desperate for a girl to look at him he has to show her his freakishness discolored cocktail fail… will have $5k for the bond after driving to beat a guy’s ass for standing up for his friend? LOL. He’s as dumb as he is fuck ugly. 

Whatever you do Turtleriders… DO NOT BLOW THIS CREEP UP OR MAKE FUN OF HIS PENIS ON HIS FACEBOOK OR MESSENGER. 

21 Comment(s)
  • Finn
    November 12, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    I was unlucky enough to see the unfiltered dick pic. It looks like a penis – only smaller.

  • Franshe
    November 12, 2017 at 11:22 am

    LMAO at “Skeletor the Junkie”.

    What a dirtbag.

  • Jen
    November 12, 2017 at 10:01 am

    Wow. What a waste of time. For anyone that knows Mark, he’s a great guy. Your bullshit post not only has inaccurate information but brings others into your fantasy story that don’t need to be there. You should probably take your article down before I notify at least one of the people in the pictures they are unknowingly up there in a distasteful article and then have your ass for slander.

    • Finn
      November 12, 2017 at 10:36 am

      Oh Jen, you dumb broad. Here’s your “Slander 101” class. To be considered slander, the statement (written word, picture, voiced statement, etc.) must be false — otherwise it’s not considered slander. Even terribly mean or disparaging words are not defamatory if the shoe fits. And it does. Very well.

  • Emerson
    November 12, 2017 at 8:36 am

    This guy is a piece of shit and so is anyone defending him. Victim noises.

  • Don Dewey
    November 12, 2017 at 4:12 am

    That dick pic was probably the closest likeness to himself Mark Fichera could find…sorta like his own Mini-Me.

  • Phil McCracken
    November 11, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    Considering Katie is from the junkie den of somersworth and that dubois kid is friends with junkies im willing to bet all meet at an NA meeting..

    • bleh
      November 11, 2017 at 9:46 pm

      Sooo…that then makes what he did alright?

  • Fuckface McFaggot
    November 11, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    Hahahah the retard is commenting here already

  • True Hollywood Story
    November 11, 2017 at 10:32 am

    His career didn’t go anywhere after O Brother, Where Art Thou? so he turned to drugs and alcohol

  • Full Testicles
    November 11, 2017 at 10:07 am

    figures SSTG wrong on so much, her hot-take is usually a shit-cake.

    Shaving pubes off our testicles keeps our massive filled testicles cooler, reduces chances of getting a pube caught in a zipper and increases the odds of getting a good ball-sucking.

    Women always telling men about need for foreplay and attention to areas other than the obvious. Well those wrinkly full testicles are incredibly sensitive and need attention just like your female parts. Stop discriminating against testicles, embrace the ball sack, be the balls… be the balls. Love the balls they need love and attention same as anyone else.

  • Mike Morgan
    November 11, 2017 at 10:05 am

    he looks slow… Like short bus slow… maybe a touch of Down’s Syndrome

  • Tad McThundercok
    November 11, 2017 at 10:02 am

    LOL, this jeremy dubois does a lot of that white knight crap. He’s a real facebook hero, What a putz! And the woman looks like a godammed slam pig. LOL

  • Wunderbar
    November 11, 2017 at 9:53 am

    Sounds like you’re jealous Caitlyn.
    Maybe skidMark can send you a baloney pony pic and you can have your own party.

    • Caitlyn
      November 11, 2017 at 11:01 am

      Ohhh yeah….that’s what I’m hopin’ for Wunderbar so I can send YOU the video of my party. His baloney pony beats your teeny weenie video.

      • Wunderbar
        November 11, 2017 at 3:45 pm

        I’m betting you’re Caitlyn Jenner.
        So I’ll pass on any pics you might send me.
        Thanks and good luck with the surgery.

  • Anonymous
    November 11, 2017 at 9:43 am

    Cop was off-duty and should not have approached this guy. He should have radioed an on-duty cop and had them deal with the guy.

  • Caitlyn
    November 11, 2017 at 8:23 am

    Do you proofread? My God, so much is lost in your long winded attempt to be witty. You’re getting a bit better at trying to sound exactly like Turtleboy though. BTW…if someone goes to Jeremy’s FB page, it’s fairly easy to determine who Katie is and she is NO child. I’m willing to believe some “playful sexting” played a hand in all this.

    CONGRATULATIONS ON THE RECOVERY, MARK! STAY STRONG AND KEEP IT UP (and no more sexting.)

    • Finn
      November 12, 2017 at 7:47 am

      You’re actually insinuating that she somehow asked for it?! What gives him the right to email a woman he doesn’t know pics of his junk? A junkie and his junk – how fitting! Dummy.

Comment on this Post

RELATED POSTS
White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?