All-Star Criminals

Southbridge Hoodrat Who Tried Burning Down Sturbridge Walmart Says Voices Made Her Do It, Is Suffering From Nice Booty Syndrome And Might Be A Serial Arsonist

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So the Southbridge hoodrat chick who tried burning down the Sturbridge Walmart turned herself in to the Auburn Police last night, and she’s playing the only card she can play – the crazy card:


According to the Turtlegram, Maiya Cruz used an interesting method to start this fire:

“The store manager said the suspect used what appeared to be hand sanitizer, which is alcohol based, as an accelerant, police said.”

I’m not a doctor or anything, but this chick is far from mentally insane. She’s not legally crazy, she’s just crazy crazy. See that face right there?


That’s the face of the hot crazy chick who always gets her way. The face of someone who will go through your phone while you’re in the shower and misinterpret every text message you ever made. The face of a woman who will punch her boyfriend in the bar if she thinks he’s looking at another girl. She’s not really “insane.” She’s just been getting away with being crazy for so long because she’s got tremendous junk in the trunk.


People like her are some of the most dangerous people society has to offer.

“The lawyer for a Wal-Mart cashier who is accused of setting three fires, destroying the Sturbridge store’s entire inventory, said Thursday that his client reported hearing voices at the time of the alleged crime.”

Oh she was hearing voices alright. Her own voice. Telling herself that her boss would think twice the next time she tried cutting in on her 30 minute break. What probably happened here is that Maiya Cruz was asked to do something she didn’t wanna do at work. And since she’s not used to not getting her way all the time (on account of the junk in the trunk) this is how she lashed out. By trying to burn that mother fucker to the ground.


Oh yea, and the first thing she did after lighting three fires at the Walmart was to run to the Stop & Shop next door and told some random employee every single detail of her crime spree:

After two Wal-Mart employees identified Ms. Cruz on the video footage, police went outside to speak to her, but another employee said Ms. Cruz had left the parking lot because she said she needed to use the bathroom at the nearby Stop & Shop. Police said they did not find Ms. Cruz in Stop & Shop, but they spoke to an employee of the grocery store who had spoken to someone who looked like Ms. Cruz and who had gone to the bathroom. The employee told police the woman had said there were three intentionally-set fires in Wal-Mart. They said she knew the exact location of each fire, and had compared them to recent fires that destroyed a brick building in Southbridge on Main Street and damaged an apartment building on Benefit Street.

Wait…..did she just confess to starting two other fires in Southbridge? She tells some random stranger that someone just intentionally lit three fires, even though the only person who would know that is the arsonist themselves. Oh yea, and those fires are just like these two other random fires in her hometown. She’s not saying she burned those down too, she’s just saying that the same method was used. Because it’s perfectly normal for someone to reference two random fires in Southbridge when talking about a purse fire at Wal-Mart.

Maiya’s family, who are loudly pushing this whole “she needs mental help” thing, were very helpful and cooperative with the police yesterday as well. LOL. Just kidding:

“Officers eventually located a dark-colored Saturn in front of her mother’s home in Southbridge. But her mother Magaly Medina, refused to let officers inside, police said. She locked the doors and told investigators to get a warrant.”

Yea, lots of normal mothers would do that. Probably should’ve seen that one coming from the duckface selfie profile picture.


If your Mom is still doing duckface selfies and telling the police to go get a warrant, then there’s a good chance you’re gonna grow up and try to burn down the Sturbridge Wal-Mart. Because you can take the hoodrat out of Southbridge for a job, but you can’t take the Southbridge out of the hoodrat.

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15 Comment(s)
  • CC
    October 1, 2016 at 11:03 am

    I went to school with her… She was always psychotic chicK, but never start fires at work kind of crazy. She’s just a moron and should be in jail.

  • LLC
    September 30, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    HOT CHICK??? Seriously?

    Shes a solid 4 at best.

  • Stu Pidazzo
    September 30, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    Those latinas- they are a passionate bunch!

  • Kathy
    September 30, 2016 at 11:57 am

    I hear voices too!!

  • Ryan N
    September 30, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Lmao. I was raised in Brookfield. Right by Sturbridge. Right by Southbridge. My Babymama is from Southbridge.. I hate Southbridge. Turtleboy has successfully taken my hate for Southbridge & love for all thing’s civil that surround it.. And created this page for people like me. Love the TurtleBoy News

  • JoeMomma
    September 30, 2016 at 7:28 am

    She’s going to love MCI Framingham.

  • Comment
    September 30, 2016 at 5:53 am

    Time to build a Walmart in Southbridge so the people that live there don’t have to drive to Sturbridge to burn sit down.

    • Bill
      September 30, 2016 at 10:06 am

      They had “The Fair”… Now all they deserve is, “Family Dollar”.

  • ninja turtle boy
    September 29, 2016 at 11:41 pm

    i wouldn’t even recognize her in court as the person that is in all of these photos. the real her vs the photos she puts on social media arent’t matching up…..hotter on the internet

    • Shackleford
      September 29, 2016 at 11:46 pm

      I call it their “hot girl disguises” aka makeup. I wouldn’t wanna wake up next to half these internet chicks, terrifying.

      • Pleasant Dreams
        September 30, 2016 at 8:40 am

        You might not wake up from a burning bed or a slit throat. YIKES, what a scary thought.

  • Shackleford
    September 29, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    What’s up for the weekend TB? Wanna get some beers?

  • Mr Butthurt
    September 29, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    I would hit it

  • PG
    September 29, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    I love all of you. Except Kevin.

    • SavvyTurtleBear
      September 30, 2016 at 9:20 pm

      nobody likes kevin.

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