All-Star Criminals

Springfield Cheeshog Busted After Being Suspected Of Stealing $80,000 From Work At K-Mart

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Does this look like a Springfield cheesehog who probably stole more than $80,000 from the K-Mart she works at?



Well it is. Cuz those fanny packs don’t pay for themselves….

MassliveA Kmart employee has been charged with stealing $3,300 from the Springfield Plaza store, where more than $80,000 has vanished in the past four months, police said. Jodi Calhoun, 46, of Springfield, pleaded not guilty Dec. 20 in Springfield District Court to one count of larceny over $250. She was arrested the day before after allegedly taking $3,300 from the store’s cash room and placing it her pocketbook. The alleged theft was caught on surveillance video, and Calhoun later admitted taking the money after being confronted by store security, according to the arrest report. Calhoun came under suspicion after more than $80,000 was discovered missing from the store’s cash room since Aug. 29, the report said.

This woman really is amazing. She’s like a big slice of Honey Boo-Boo right here in the 413:


If she needed cash she should’ve just paid with her Facebook coins:


It’s cool though, that money belonged to her. Because she wanted it. Ya see, she works hard, therefore she shouldn’t be poor:


And in the least surprising turn of events ever, guess where she likes to go every year?


Of course the Big E!! The only place in the world where you can never run out of things to deep fry.


I know what you’re saying – doesn’t this gravy dumpster’s bowels get all jammed up with all that breading? She’s one step ahead of you:


And since she’s such a model of fitness and good eating habits, Jodi is definitely in a position to judge other people’s physical appearance.



Bottom line is, don’t fuck with the Calhouns!!



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20 Comment(s)
    December 31, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    One thing I totally disagree with is that this woman nor anyone in her family should lose their right to carry.

    For one the crime didn’t involve a gun. Second, the amendment allows a person to carry to protect themselves against an oppressing and overstepping government.

    The NRA, has a comercials out where the woman is being home invaded and she is calling the police for help. They go on to state that the woman should be allowed to arm ect.. I agree.

    I agree as long as EVERY WOMAN is allowed to protect her self in the same circumstance.

    Everyone should be allowed to be armed.

    • Turd Burglestein
      December 31, 2016 at 8:11 pm

      Even Andrew McDonough? Too bad he wasn’t armed when he encountered you and your gang of murdering ass bandits.

  • Greenpeace, whale issue
    December 31, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    No wonder K-mart is going down so quickly.

  • TomBrady'sSoftBalls
    December 31, 2016 at 8:04 am


  • Kid-Q
    December 31, 2016 at 1:49 am

    “..Now Im not a small girl and i kno it..”

  • Pentolius Lenrory
    December 30, 2016 at 11:50 pm

    My son was LP Manager at that store about a year ago, then quit. KMart not interested in pursuing employee theft, just shoplifters, and there was one every five minutes. Lots of funny stories!

    Sears Holdings announced many closings but since this store is popular with the Winchester Square EBT crowd, it remains. #thanksobama

  • whatevuh
    December 30, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    The friggin farmer left the gate open again, and the cow is loose again. How many times I gotta tell him !

  • BobnMic
    December 30, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    She could easily conceal a number of small arms tucked under her gunt. 80k worth of stolen Cheez Doodles will “show” over time.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    December 30, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Its fucktards like this that give gun owners a bad name.

    • Morty
      December 31, 2016 at 10:43 am

      This should not be a problem for them in the future. A felony conviction should clean up the firearm situation in that house.

      • Devils Mouthpiece
        January 1, 2017 at 1:53 pm

        By then again, this is MA.

  • JoeMomma
    December 30, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    She didn’t miss any meals……..

  • Reddog
    December 30, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Between the Saints t shirt and the gunt pack,I’m pretty sure the rest is self explanatory.

  • Turtlegunner
    December 30, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    Great job on the gun safety. Keep your booger hookers off the trigger!

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    December 30, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    I love how she says, “I know I’m not a small girl…” Um… you can say that when you’re chubby or overweight but still pretty and get away with it. An obese woman like her needs to be more specific like, “I know I’m huge but…”

    • Could get away with it
      December 31, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      Right, about the pretty thing.

    • Sterling Turtle Rider
      January 1, 2017 at 3:47 am

      “I know that my girth required the doors to be widened, but…”

  • Spankster
    December 30, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    80 Grand from K-Mart?
    What did she steal the whole friggen store???

  • Turd Burglestein
    December 30, 2016 at 5:03 pm

    I have a hard time believing Kmart had that much in sales. Or is Kmart selling drugs now?

    • Wabbitt
      December 30, 2016 at 11:12 pm

      Well… it IS Springfield.

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