• Springfield Pyramid Scheme Trap Queen Who Claims We Are Blocking Her Comments On Facebook Is Officially Invited On Turtleboy Live Tomorrow Night To Roast Us



    Springfield Pyramid Scheme Trap Queen Who Claims We Are Blocking Her Comments On Facebook Is Officially Invited On Turtleboy Live Tomorrow Night To Roast Us

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    Yesterday we blogged about this chick from Springfield who spams her Facebook page with pyramid schemes and tried to destroy a local meat outlet for having browned celery on display:

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    Pretty sure if you shoot for the “moom” and miss, you won’t actually hit the stars. Ya know, because stars are light years away from us, and they’re not gas stations on the way to the moon. She also shared a link from the FDA, which she ironically didn’t realize proved that there was nothing illegal about leaving out food that has a “best sell by” date that has passed:

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    “With the exception of infant formula, the laws that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) administers do not preclude the sale of food that is past the expiration date indicated on the label. FDA does not require food firms to place “expired by”, “use by” or “best before” dates on food products. This information is entirely at the discretion of the manufacturer.”

    Oops!!

    Anyway, she obviously has seen the blog now and she’s making up claims that we’re blocking her on Facebook:

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    I can assure you we do not remove comments from our Facebook page. The only people who remove stuff from our Facebook page are gangs of psycho Moms from the South Shore, and convicted murderers living in their mother’s basement at 48 Cedar Street in Fitchburg. But we don’t remove comments. As you can see from our Facebook page, there is often much debauchery and offensive language from commenters. We don’t always agree with it, but we are happy to live in a country where these people are free to express themselves, as are you. You can call us a lot of things, but if you’re saying that we remove comments we don’t like, you’re just a liar.

    Also, we LOVE the hate comments the most and would NEVER think about taking those ones down. Those are the best ones and always elicit a 50-100 comment thread highlighted by new compound words we’ve never seen before from turtle riders that often include the word “cunt.” And every time someone comments on a Facebook post their entire friends list sees it on their feeder. This is how we pick up a lot of followers. It would be an incredibly bad business decision to block people like you Vanessa.

    And on that note, we officially invite you to roast us on Turtleboy Live tomorrow at 9:30 PM. Feel free to contact us on Facebook and we will add you on Skype. You will be allowed to say WHATEVER you want, and let people know what you think about Turtleboy. Last episode over 13,000 people tuned in, so you’ll have an audience to. So yea, if you’re really serious about letting us know how you feel, this is the way to do it. Unless you’re just lying, which we all know you are.

     

     

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    Discussion

    1. Fiesty Turtle Lady


      I urge everyone to message Justin Wedgeworth on Facebook. He is a celery connoisseur who enjoys long walks on the beach and holding hands.

      1. Turd Burglestein


        Hmmmm…but what does he do with cucumbers?

        1. Fiesty Turtle Lady


          You don’t want to know!! Lmao… Check your FB messages.

    2. TurtleLover


      I hope she is on live! EPIC!

    3. TruthSerum


      Ms Vargas needs to read the USDA site regarding food safety – her photo is dated 4/24 as is the ‘Best if used by’ celery – the celery had not “expired”.

      “A “Best if Used By/Before” indicates when a product will be of best flavor or quality. It is not a purchase or safety date.
      A “Sell-By” date tells the store how long to display the product for sale for inventory management. It is not a safety date.
      A “Use-By” date is the last date recommended for the use of the product while at peak quality. It is not a safety date except for when used on infant formula as described below.”

      Clearly the store was not in violation of any fresh food safety requirements. Her complaint is a nothing but a pile of limp veggies.

    4. Ricardo Montalban


      I don’t get it. Unbelievable.

      1. Ricardo Montalban


        Oops.

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