Smiles And Sunshine

Street Cred Affirmed: Turtleboy Gets Shoutout In Local Gangsta Rap Video

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Is Turtleboy officially gangsta? It may appear to be the case after the release of this Worcester gangsta rap video was sent to us by a turtle rider. The group is called “Fresh Cadets” and at the 2:35 mark it would seem that they have officially confirmed our legitimacy in the streets:

Ya know Worcester is going downhill when gangsta rap videos are being outsourced to Auburn:

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Yea, pretty sure this was shot at the Auburn Mall. I guess the Midtown Mall was closed for renovations.

Turtleboy is not up to date with the latest urban vernacular, but from what we took out of this video, it is the story of a man who was recently released from prison and is looking to restore his good name and get laid in the process. It appears as if lots of women were “on his D” before he went to jail. However, while he was away dem ho’s weren’t loyal. He’s also not very pleased with the judge or district attorney because they’d rather see him “locked up in a cage then out here getting paid.” Must be that “school to prison pipeline” Gordon Davis has been talking about on his cardboard signs:

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We can totally relate to that!! Turtleboy can’t blog from from behind bars!

We especially liked the part at 1:00 when he takes a dump on the Telegram for misreporting that he was “out of the game.” Even gangsta rappers understand that the Telegram is a joke. Like he said, “way too late to drop the beef.” Duh!!  Guaranteed the article he’s talking about was written by Sam Allen. Since she’s a carpetbagger from North Andover she wouldn’t understand. Everyone from Worcester knows you don’t just drop the beef.

Once released from prison he had no choice but to raid his enemy’s barber shop, kidnap the mother, and remind her to purchase life insurance for her children who are trying to go “strap for strap.” I have to admit, that’s good advice right there. Give our homies a call:

If you’re gonna be going strap for strap the average life expectancy can’t be that high. I’m not quite sure what “strap for strap” means, but it sounds dangerous!! After that they might have to drop a few bodies depending on whether or not the opposition accepts the challenge to go “strap for strap.”

Of course once he’s out of prison the first thing he wants to do is get some Worcester lovin’. And just like Turtleboy he swipes left and goes to the place where love is flowing like cheap wine – Plumley Village. However, once one of these of these women hears what he’s been up to he’ll be “violating most likely.” This might be a reference to conditions of parole. We think. Once again, our gangsta rap days are long gone. We been out the game for a while now and we are not up to date on the current vocabulary. Hopefully this man does not violate and he can go on to lead a healthy and productive life. Just be careful around those Plumley women.

Then of course came the Turtleboy shoutout:

“When Turtleboy’s next article is written up, he gon’, he gon say these Kilby (n words) out there going strap for strap.

He’s right. We were literally just gonna write that. Just look at the headline we had cued up before we saw this video:

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It’s like they can read our minds.

There’s definitiely a generational disconnect between this rapper and Turtleboy. See back in my day, rappers wore baggy clothing. But with the kids these days, skinny tapered jeans are all the rage. I guess that’s just a bi-product of going strap for strap.

So there it is folks. Our first of many gangsta rap shoutouts. Thank you to the good people at Fresh Cadets for legitimizing our street cred. If one of you fine folks is reading this we would like to offer you a free I Am Turtleboy t-shirt if you promise to wear it in your next video.

P.S. The comments are even more confusing:

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I’m sure “we need to do work” is in reference to a landscaping account they picked up, and “my bro going ham right” refers to the grinder he just picked up at Belsito’s.

 

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11 Comment(s)
  • FiestyLawyerLady
    March 29, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    I had no idea what the gangsta was saying… I guess I’m right there with ya…

  • CFT
    March 25, 2016 at 10:41 am

    Wait I really misunderstood “ham.” I thought it was in reference to Easter brunch. Siily me!

  • Del Griffith
    March 24, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    Wait, what?

  • RSoxGuy
    March 24, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    ham = hard as a muthafucka

  • Snoop dog
    March 24, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    Bow wow wow,yippy yo yippy ya.

    • BobnMic
      March 24, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      That was from George Clinton – “Atomic Dog.”

      “Like the boys
      When they’re out there walkin’ the streets
      May compete
      Nothin’ but the dog in ya”

  • thatkid
    March 24, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Strap = gun
    The beat is from a song by drake called back to back

  • Publius
    March 24, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    Pretty entertaining piece. Amazing this crap is real on not just on TV.

  • Angus W. Mann
    March 24, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    Was that an empty can of Campbell’s Beans that they were using as a Snare Drum?

  • Noodly Appendage
    March 24, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Well ain’t you just the tits TB. Ain’t no rappers on the street shoutin it out to Noodly Appendage. I am toast jelly cuz I am like totes down with the lingo cuz I read me some of that Urban Dictionary. You might polish up your gangsta vocab and read it too.

  • Pure Rap Game
    March 24, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    Sorry bros – Spaz on Ready For War was better… just sayin.

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