The other day we published an unfortunate blog about a guy who was caught choking the chicken in the Stop & Shop parking lot at Springfield Plaza.
That guy right there does NOT like it when his stroke game is interrupted whilst fantasizing to fully clothed women and lying in the front parking spot of a busy grocery store in broad daylight.
The Springfield Police announced they are arresting him, but have not released his name because he hasn’t been arrested yet.
His name, I shit you not, is Michael Jordan. And since the basketball Hall of Fame is in Springfield, you can imagine that nothing useful comes up when you search “Michael Jordan Springfield.” But he apparently has done this many times before, including at hospitals.
This is just what he does – drives to random parking lots in the middle of the day and punches the clown in full sight of anyone in the general vicinity who wants to see him beat his bologna baton like it owes him money. Hopefully SPD can track his ass out down and get him registered as a sex offender before the economy reopens and he really starts to enjoy himself.
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40 Comment(s)
the look on his face was disturbing, like catching a dog licking its balls, but with less intelligence and more animosity.
Welp this right here makes the wife beater guy who pissed his pants in line at the RMV the other day seem like a Fun guy to drink a beer with.
This guy should have driven to the outdoor store in Natick, he could have beat off while the mad shitter lady was taking a dump. The paddy wagon would only have to make one trip to remove two slime balls.
Let’s see
Black guy rapey pedo pervert
And Latin guy rapey pedo pervert
Two articles in one day about non white perverts
Yet, the whole world would have you believe that the majority of rapers and pedos are white?
False narrative
Well, you keep everyone from going to work and prevent them from socializing. Some are left to sit in their cars in parking lots watching women doing their shopping, and…. It’s a good thing such luminaries as Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci, and Charlie Baker read this blog. This unholy incident should persuade them that the lock down has long since run its course. End the madness now or we’ll all be sitting in our cars by ourselves doing this.
Punching the clown. Even Julie Andrews is appalled at MJ fouling in public!
I can give him a ride!!
I would be his jizz sponge.
I have seen this behavior before.
He should have just went to an “old bukake” part in Massaschusetts. Old pig takes many loads. They have those.
Why is everyone assuming he was fantasizing while watching fully clothed FEMALES??? Did you ever think there could have been a hot looking 85 year old man pushing a walker? Maybe he spotted a voluptuous labradoodle in the adjacent car.
You people are a bunch of sexist assholes.
Hey motherfucker! I got meth. Let’s go mgtow that snake!
I wonder how much air time his 3 pointers were getting?Windshield, headliner or rear view mirror
What a dick head
Wtf is wrong with the public?
Seeing as tickling yourself is impossible… we really lucked out with this whole masturbation thing.
two can play at that game, my little lotus flower.
What’s his Dickflash.com handle?
Asking for myself
He was practicing his dribbling
The Karens want him charged with maskless mall masturbation in public.
I can’t wait to see the perp walk in the food court
You steal my name, you fuck.
Ho Li Phuk, now there is two Ho Li Phuks.
You take him to back booth, straighten out name problem, right Ho Li?
He steal my identity, Lee.
I take him to back booth, I go Bruce Lee on his ass.
Good, I like back booth justice, please don’t use back booth that I take Geisha Girl too, use other one.
How the mighty have fallen.
perverted colored boy
Everybody needs to lay off! He was probably just celebrating his election to The Basketball Hall of Fame.
Celebrating his election?
He was celebrating his erection.
I suggested we should have people in China at the outset of this event, when it all started, in Luhan Province
or maybe even Wuhan Province
Can you imagine the next time he calls his friends, “hey you guys want to hang out tonight” ummmmm, NAH we’re BUSY !!!!
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That Joe Bacon motherfucker calling the police ‘pos’ because they won’t follow procedure and release someone’s name before arresting them. Bitch, if you knew who it was jerking off in a car, why didn’t you just tell everyone his name – or go arrest him yourself?
Fuck this guy! Hope he has a ton of warrants out on his sorry tiny dick ass…..
I’d still rather watch 5 seconds of this Michael Jordan beating his slim jim over 5 minutes of MJ’s “last dance”
C’mon! I hate sports. But that definitely sold me on how he is the greatest Basketball player of all time. Now I’d never buy his ghetto sneakers or any merchandise but you have to respect the talent he has.
I love real spots. African Handball is not a real sports. 6’8 black dudes in pajamas dunking is not impressive and the free throw is the most boring play in all of sports. Nothing like a game ending 110-109 with 90 whistles.
Parking Space Jam