All-Star Criminals

The Anteater Antifa Have Come To Worcester And Springfield And They’ve Decorated Their Grundles With Ketchup To Show You How Sane They Are

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If you’ve been driving around Worcester or Springfield the past couple days you may have seen these perfectly sane individuals…..

God bless the First Amendment. Lets us see who ate the most paint chips as a kid so we can all have a laugh at their expense.

I just had to chime in on this as one of the few male bloggers on staff. I have a confession to make – my womb broom comes with its own sleeping bag. It’s not like a full anteater. Looks more like when you pull up your sleeves on a hot day.

And honestly, I wish I’d gotten the snip snip when I was a day old for a bunch of reasons. For starters, everyone knows the magic mushroom needs space to breathe. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of suffocation you get when he goes into hibernation. Try riding a bike or jogging as God made you. Peel back central. At least 5-6 times when I go running I have to adjust myself, simply because the spam javelin is begging for mercy. He’s a mammal. He needs oxygen. And God forbid it’s cold outside. Game over.

Secondly, it looks ridiculous when you’re a kid if you don’t get the chop. I made sure Turtleboy Jr. got the foreskin fade so I didn’t have to stare at a withered green bean every time I changed his diaper.

Thirdly, this is what I take most issue with:

I don’t wanna ever hear a woman’s opinion about circumcision, unless they’re talking about their poundtown preference. You don’t have to live with it. You can’t relate. Your entire understanding of circumcision comes from shit you read in a Mommy’s group. The women leading the anti-circumcision charge are amongst the most batshit crazy on the Internet. Right up there with the anti-vaxxers, theybies, and the gerber server gestapo.

The bottom line is people should do whatever they want with their kids. If you don’t like circumcision then don’t uncork your kid’s bottle. But if you try to tell other people that they shouldn’t circumcize their kids and you do so by putting blood splotches on your crotch while yelling crazy shit at people crossing the bridge from Worcester into Shrewsbury, you’re probably gonna end up on Turtleboy. Just sayin.

26 Comment(s)
  • suckittrebek
    July 30, 2018 at 6:55 pm

    lol religion sucks

  • Fo Sho
    Not wid my dick
    July 30, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Bet his circumcision left a scar on his ass…….

  • Oprah's Meat Hugger
    July 30, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    These are OBVIOUSLY Soros and leftist lunatic funded campaigns.
    However if they were genuine, they would also be protesting celebrities like Oprah for using foreskin face cream, as she has been using it for many decades.

  • Manchester NH
    July 30, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    they are now some in manchester NH on elm and bridge

  • Turtlekid
    July 30, 2018 at 2:12 pm

    nothin to do with antifa, buzzwords

  • Moshe Goldblatt
    July 30, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    Good Goys! Keeping mutilating your children and I’ll keep cornering the market on baby foreskins made into face cream for our witches to look young again.

  • Fuck Turtleneck Sweaters
    July 30, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    Yeah, you do care what a chick thinks about it, unless you never want to get laid.

    Girls who aren’t savages themselves hate it because:

    1. smell
    2. cheese
    3. looks like an animal dick

    That’s even if a guy showers frequently.

    Get serious.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      July 30, 2018 at 2:02 pm

      I was never ‘cut’ and I was very successful with the ladies in my younger days.

      Just gotta keep the damn thing clean!

      And when we get wood, it look the same as a ‘cut’ one anyway.

      And I can go ‘commando’ with a lot less irritation!

    • WorryAboutYourWeiner
      August 2, 2018 at 11:46 pm

      My biggest fear growing up was that women would hate my uncircumcised dick, boy was I wrong. See, here’s my issue, why do you care enough about dicks to even comment? As far as cleanliness goes, whenever I hear someone someone bring that up, it makes me think you’re not washing your own dick. Why on earth would it smell if you shower regularly? But I’d put my life at stake to bet that my dick, as it stands, smells better than the cleanest pussy you’ve ever come in contact with.

    July 30, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    Mickey Rivera, the Fall River punk who died in a head-on crash with a Marine who had just left the hospital after visiting his newborn daughter and wife, had a long history of charges including accessory to murder and witness intimidation.

    I hope somebody is going to get on that and the fact that another asshole was set free by judges.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      July 30, 2018 at 2:04 pm

      Another ‘women love bad boys’ example

      • Captain Trips
        Captain Trips
        July 30, 2018 at 2:06 pm

        I read it all wrong.

        It should say, another example of the average ‘islander’

  • Stunt Penis
    July 30, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    I wonder if these freaks also condone cannibalism (a.k.a placentophagy).

  • Snoop Dogg
    July 30, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    Uncircumcised dicks look like a joint. Except no one wants to smoke it.

  • Clitty Litter
    July 30, 2018 at 11:54 am

    I dated a girl in High School that had the dreaded “ sat on a red marker” incident .
    Thank you Worcester loons for dredging up forgotten memories and bringing me back to the good old days!

    • Clitty Litter
      July 30, 2018 at 5:38 pm

      I think I found my 2018 Halloween costume!!!!

  • Green Thumb
    July 30, 2018 at 11:49 am

    If you plant the foreskin in the spring, a new Liberal will bloom.

  • Nee Chi
    July 30, 2018 at 10:35 am

    “I don’t wanna ever hear a woman’s opinion about circumcision”.

    “Unless you’re a woman, you can’t talk about abortion”… A tactic used SJW’s who try to silence speech they don’t like.

    You’re really turning into what it is you write about… smh

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    July 30, 2018 at 10:19 am

    A true example of what is wrong with the mental health system in this country

  • Mom’s Basement
    July 30, 2018 at 9:55 am

    If being uncircumcised is like having a built in fleshlight then I’m kinda jealous. Plus you can probably use it as a change purse.

  • nchillbilly
    July 30, 2018 at 9:40 am

    Id wager he’s been castrated. Go protest something more ‘impotent’ you twat.

  • Unfettered Bellend
    July 30, 2018 at 9:36 am

    While I agree circumcision is an odd ritual and tradition, these activists suffer from severe feelings of inadequacy. They blame their short-cummings on circumcision. They should seek psychiatric help, do yoga or some other meditative exercise, stop placing so much importance on your sexual worth, or find some other way to get over it.

  • Rockets Redglare
    July 30, 2018 at 9:33 am

    But they are quite OK with chopping little Johnnies dick off, stuffing him with some implants and a lifetime of hormone treatments…

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      July 30, 2018 at 9:45 am

      And they’re ok with abortion – sucking the fetus out in pieces from the womb.

      Liberals are insane.

      • Stunt Penis
        July 30, 2018 at 10:39 am

        “Liberalism is a mental disorder” — Michael Savage

    • wah wah
      July 31, 2018 at 10:21 pm

      I’ll bet that they would never protest against female “circumcision” (aka: female genital mutilation), because it is practiced by many Muslim countries.

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