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Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.
If you’ve been driving around Worcester or Springfield the past couple days you may have seen these perfectly sane individuals…..
God bless the First Amendment. Lets us see who ate the most paint chips as a kid so we can all have a laugh at their expense.
I just had to chime in on this as one of the few male bloggers on staff. I have a confession to make – my womb broom comes with its own sleeping bag. It’s not like a full anteater. Looks more like when you pull up your sleeves on a hot day.
And honestly, I wish I’d gotten the snip snip when I was a day old for a bunch of reasons. For starters, everyone knows the magic mushroom needs space to breathe. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of suffocation you get when he goes into hibernation. Try riding a bike or jogging as God made you. Peel back central. At least 5-6 times when I go running I have to adjust myself, simply because the spam javelin is begging for mercy. He’s a mammal. He needs oxygen. And God forbid it’s cold outside. Game over.
Secondly, it looks ridiculous when you’re a kid if you don’t get the chop. I made sure Turtleboy Jr. got the foreskin fade so I didn’t have to stare at a withered green bean every time I changed his diaper.
Thirdly, this is what I take most issue with:
I don’t wanna ever hear a woman’s opinion about circumcision, unless they’re talking about their poundtown preference. You don’t have to live with it. You can’t relate. Your entire understanding of circumcision comes from shit you read in a Mommy’s group. The women leading the anti-circumcision charge are amongst the most batshit crazy on the Internet. Right up there with the anti-vaxxers, theybies, and the gerber server gestapo.
The bottom line is people should do whatever they want with their kids. If you don’t like circumcision then don’t uncork your kid’s bottle. But if you try to tell other people that they shouldn’t circumcize their kids and you do so by putting blood splotches on your crotch while yelling crazy shit at people crossing the bridge from Worcester into Shrewsbury, you’re probably gonna end up on Turtleboy. Just sayin.